Episode 4

Healing in Heartache: A New Dawn A New BOOK

10 4

Healing in Heartache: A New Dawn A New BOOK

Show Notes

When the police knocked on Cindy Little’s door, the world stopped. Her son Dylan, just 21, had died in a car accident — and nothing made sense after that. In this episode, she shares what happened next: the spiral, the anger, the aching question of “what now,” and eventually the profound, spiritual experience of reconnecting with her son’s energy. If you’ve lost someone suddenly, this conversation might give you a lifeline. Raw, real, and unexpectedly hopeful.

Cindy wrote her new book Reflecting On Life; Growing Through Grief which is available for early-bird pricing NOW

Trigger Warning: sudden death, parental grief, spiritual reconnection.

💥 What We Talk About:

  • The day of Dylan’s accident and how the news shattered reality
  • The immediate aftermath: denial, shock, and the freeze of trauma
  • Navigating the grief spiral vs. the destructive spiral
  • Spiritual and somatic healing rituals that helped Cindy begin to feel again
  • Writing her book as a way to survive, reflect, and reconnect
  • What happens when a “strong military man” like her husband breaks
  • Continuing bonds: how Cindy experiences Dylan’s presence
  • Breaking generational grief patterns

What Cindy wants other bereaved parents — and anyone in grief — to know

📞 If You’re in Crisis:

📱 In North America: text 988 for free 24/7 support

🌍 Elsewhere? Reach out to your local suicide prevention or mental health hotline.

You matter. We want you here.

💬 Subscribe, Rate & Share

If this conversation moved you, please hit subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone navigating the messy, beautiful, brutal terrain of grief.

#ConverSAVEtions — Because some episodes are more than stories. They’re survival guides.

Bio

Cindy says "From being a happy, driven business leader to someone who had lost her way. It was in losing myself that I began the journey of finding my true self. During this process, I wrote a book about grief, delving deep into what could help me rise from the depths of despair.

In my search for healing, I found myself a couple years later in Nevada, at a friend's natural healing centre. Eager to understand the source of her healing and what had inspired her to help others, I embarked on a transformational experience. There, I received a Universal Healing session that included Reiki, an attunement, meditation circles with sound healing, and learned from my Shamanic friend how to become a Universal Healer.

A year later, I treated over 50 participants and discovered a holistic healing system that aligned with my beliefs. This system now includes tuning fork healing, crystal healing, tarot and oracle card readings, grounding in nature, and energy healing with Reiki. Once I felt comfortable with practice under my belt, I opened my doors to the public. Cindy’s Kindred Spirits was registered as a business April 2, 2025 in Kemptville, Ontario."

Links & Socials

🔗 How to Connect with Cindy Little

📘 Book Release: October 20, 2025 Book Page

🎁 Early-bird pricing (eBook ~$2.99 / Paperback ~$12.99 CAD)

🌐 Website

📸 LinkedIn | Facebook

Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All website

©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.

https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/healing-in-heartache-a-new-dawn-a-new-book

Elaine Lindsay

Explicit

Transcript
Speaker:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Suicide

prevention ain't only September.

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Suicide awareness has to be in the

day-to-day conversations 24 7 365.

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We wanna keep hope alive.

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I'm declaring the whole year

for prevention and awareness.

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Listen.

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24-7-365 Song: Check in,

check back, say their name.

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Share the lifelines.

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Let hold.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hello,

there it is so good to be back.

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I'm Elaine Lindsay.

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This is Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

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And today we are here with

my guest, Cindy Little.

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Thank you for joining us, Cindy.

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I am really excited because as

much as this, it's my pleasure.

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Thank you.

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Your story's heartbreaking, and I know

your hearts will go out to Cindy and

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her family, and we will talk about

that, but what I'm excited about is the

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fact that it ends in hope and renewal.

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And Cindy has written a book that really

provides some, not just guidance, but

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useful tools that can help you get to life

after and after can be a lot of things.

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I'm gonna let Cindy give us the low

down on Cindy, and I'm only gonna

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say two things before I turn it over.

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And that is Cindy is.

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Or rather has been a service person.

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She has been in the military.

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She's been a military medic.

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There's parachutes in there.

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There's all kinds of everything.

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She is an award-winning businesswoman.

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She was in the Millionaire Club.

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She has done a gazillion things.

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That's not why we're here and it's not

why she wrote the book and it's not

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the person she is today because to me

there is so much more to Cindy now.

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And so I wanna share, Cindy,

you go ahead and take this away.

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Cindy Little: Wow.

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Thank you Elaine, for

having me on your podcast.

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This is a very special podcast and

I don't take this lightly and I'm

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honored to be here to share my story

with people, so thank you for that.

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So I'm Cindy Little and I'm from

Kempville, Ontario, which is 30

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minutes south of Ottawa for those

who don't know Ontario or Kempville.

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And it's a nice little town and

it's where our son's memorial

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bench is off of the Rideau River.

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And it was on the bench where I, at the

one year anniversary mark of losing our

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son that I, sat there and I said, what

am I supposed to do with my life now?

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I was 51 years old.

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I was going through perimenopause at

the time, and that's when women start

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wondering what am I left here to do?

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What is gonna fill my cup

up after losing a child?

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And and then the book came to my mind.

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So that's where I was reflecting on life.

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And I was growing through grief

in nature on this memorial bench

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that my friends raised money

to help provide for our family.

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And the story began when the cops showed

th,:

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It was five hours after a car accident.

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And when they came to our door

and said that our son was dead.

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I said, no, our son was going to his first

day on the job, but it can't be our son.

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And that's when absolutely, I realized

that our life gonna change forever.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: There is

nothing at all, like the loss of a child.

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And your response is so to me, natural.

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The first thing when they tell

you someone who shouldn't be the

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one to die is gone is denial.

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It's absolutely denial.

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We've all done it.

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You and your husband.

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I'm really glad that Yeah.

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You were both together at the time.

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Yeah.

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Cindy Little: Oh yeah, for sure.

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My son was 21 when he passed,

and our daughter was 24.

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And the next worst shock, or the next

worst tragedy was calling our daughter

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to actually we texted her to say that

there was an emergency because I quit.

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We couldn't call her because then,

like we would've had to tell her over

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the phone and we didn't wanna do that.

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So we, we had her and her fiance at

the time they're married now to come to

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our house and they saw the cop cars out

front and they said what's going on?

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And we said Dylan was in a

car accident and he died.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: No.

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Cindy Little: And we couldn't really give

the information any easier than that.

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And the exact same way that the cops gave

it to us, they, when they said it was

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very point blank in one sentence, your

son Dylan Little died in a car accident.

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That's how they delivered the news to us.

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It's like they didn't sugarcoat it.

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They just said it outright and

that we weren't even sitting down.

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My husband and I had just called

him up from the basement, and the

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cops were in our doorway and they

wanted to come in and I was wondering

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why did they wanna come in so bad?

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They kept asking, is your husband home?

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I said, yeah, he's home.

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And can we speak with both of you?

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And then when they came in and they told

us the news within the first, sentence out

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of their mouth, it was like such a shock.

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And I didn't believe him.

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I thought, no, this can't be right.

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Like this.

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Our son was just driving to a new

job that morning when it happened.

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And my husband received

the news quicker than me.

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He accepted it quicker than me.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I'm

sure that's not something that you

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saw a lot, Cindy.

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I just want the audience to know that

Darren is also military and both Cindy and

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Darren have served our country very well.

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Yeah.

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Take, absolutely.

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Take all the time you need.

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Yeah.

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I also want the audience to know.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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And it only happened in

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Very.

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It's very soon.

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Cindy Little: Yeah.

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Seeing a very strong man

like my husband, like that,

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yeah, that was the hardest.

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I think one of the hardest things.

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And then even through the grief and

our transition the journey through

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grief through just seeing my husband.

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Be as emotional was something new for me.

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'cause he's always been so strong and

guarded with his emotions and seeing him,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

oh, I can absolutely imagine.

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And

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Cindy Little: Was

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: not, I

grew up in a military family as well.

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Yeah.

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My father's in the Air Force and

he was in the Air Force in Britain.

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I, before we came to Canada and

he joined the Canadian Air Force.

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Basically, pretty soon after we got here.

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So I understand the ethos, if you

will, but also that male role in the

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military was always, the standup guy

the rock, the person who's so in charge.

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And, to, to your point

about Darren, I was 12.

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We were in Scotland and I, to this

day, I don't know what happened.

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The middle of the night we were

staying with my grandparents and

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my mother was sitting on the side

of the bed beside my father and my

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father's shoulders were shaking.

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It took me a few minutes to realize

he was crying and it completely

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knocked my world off its axis 'cause.

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Fathers didn't do that.

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What was happening and it's crazy because

they're human, but we were so used to not

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seeing that, that picture not as dire.

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Like I said, I still dunno what happened.

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I just know that it took a couple of

years for me to reevaluate and recenter.

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My father for within my head,

which was bizarre, but, so I

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can definitely understand how

that, played with your head.

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Cindy Little: Yeah.

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And just, yeah, the

whole grieving process.

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I write about that in my book.

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I talk about the grief spiral and

there's a destructive spiral as well.

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And all the symptoms

of what it looks like.

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And I identified with most

of those destructive spiral

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and grief spiral symptoms.

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I think that if you're listening for

a friend or a family member who has

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lost somebody, those tips are very

good for you to read those symptoms,

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to identify what stage of grief

they're in, and if they have some

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destructive symptoms, how to help them.

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And so I, when I started writing

the book, I didn't think it

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was just gonna be on grief.

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It had to be it.

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I couldn't go all over the map

with, promoting health and wellness,

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which is what my background is.

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30 years as a wellness consultant.

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Six years in the military as a

medic, 15 years as a personal trainer

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and yoga instructor, kettlebell

instructor, and then 18 years now in

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network marketing and the nutrition.

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Aspect.

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And so I was thinking I was coming at it

as coach Cindy, and then I was, yeah, I

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reread what I wrote after I had changed

emotionally and spiritually and everything

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changed and I reread what I wrote and I

thought, oh my God what was I thinking?

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Writing some of these things.

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I was actually embarrassed for myself.

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What the hell was I thinking?

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And yeah, I just changed so much in

this process and I'm very grateful.

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My son did leave us a gift.

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It was if there's a silver lining

and something I learned how to

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go inwards and really listen to

my inner child or my higher self.

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There's lots of different

terminology people can use.

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My soul self.

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I really did a deep dive because

of this book, so it was very

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therapeutic, very cathartic for

me to write it, and it really, it

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wouldn't be the book it is today.

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Had I not waited the time for me to heal.

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And learn and grow through it wow.

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Yeah.

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And my spiritual, I had two

editors, one for grammar and one

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for spiritual content and the flow.

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And boy did she pull stuff out me.

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I did not like her.

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Sometimes IB word a B with an it word.

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Oh my gosh.

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It was she, Cindy, I know.

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Get in there and really piss me off.

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I wrote that in the book.

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Like she really found, she really

knew how to push my buttons

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and, but it was like a string.

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She knew how to pull that string

and it unraveled me and it got

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me to the core of all of the

stages of grief and I was denying.

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A lot of the that I was, imperfect,

I was denying that I wasn't strong,

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I was denying that I was depressed.

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I was denying bargaining and the

bargaining aspect of the grief stage.

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I didn't realize till two, three

years later that I was bargaining.

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It's like.

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How did I not see that?

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And so it sometimes takes somebody else

who's like either a spiritual person

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or a grief counselor, or someone who's

dealt with grief themselves to really

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understand what you're going through.

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My spiritual editor had lost her

husband at a young age due to alcohol.

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So basically that was suicide.

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And and so she's been there as well.

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So I think it takes somebody

who's lost somebody very close

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to them, like losing a son.

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I, there was no book out there

that I really resonated with that.

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Talked about the death, like

I wanted to hear about it.

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Like I wanted to hear the story.

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I wanted to hear the stages of

how that parent got through it.

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And I had to write that book essentially.

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And I realized I was putting it

off and putting it off and, I was

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thinking that it wasn't gonna be

good enough and this and that.

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All these things go through your mind.

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Is this going to help somebody?

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And then it got to the point,

just like a couple of weeks

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ago, I said, you know what?

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The book is ready.

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I've been, we've edited it,

we've put things around for flow.

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We've uncovered lots of

different aspects of grief.

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I took a deep dive.

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I even went in, what does,

what happens after death?

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Because I refuse to believe that my son

was completely gone, like he was cremated.

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And I'm not a religious person.

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And I believed I wanted to know that I

could connect with him on the other side.

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And I have to say that I

have connected with him.

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I'm not a clairvoyant, I'm not a psychic.

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I'm not a medium.

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But there is a point where

you get to where you do feel

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some kind of a connection.

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And I did a spiritual retreat at my

house in July, and I had a shaman

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friend come from Nevada and she

took me through a sacred ceremony.

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And I did hear my son yell out, mom.

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And I said, did you hear that?

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And she says, yeah, I did.

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And I was blown away.

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So if you feel like you're not gonna

connect again with your loved ones,

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I'm telling you it is possible.

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Yeah, I, I didn't know for sure if it

was, but it had to take me time to get

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to a level of elevation and outta grief.

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When you're in grief, it's one of

your lower vibrations and anger, and

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some of grief, anger frustration, all

of those are lower level vibrations.

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And you need to get to the point

of joy and love to, for the higher

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vibration, for you to be able to connect.

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And it took a long time

for that to happen.

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I wanted it a lot sooner.

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I was begging, I was bargaining,

I was going to the woods and

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I was surrounding myself with

nature and with meditation and.

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Boy I did a lot of different

things to try to I read the Bible.

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I joined a Course on Miracles, and

that's a year long program, and

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there was just so many things that

I did to try to just, I was just

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so hellbent and not losing myself.

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It doesn't

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

seem weird at all.

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Cindy Little: I know it seems weird.

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We always looking for the

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: connections,

and to me, the odd thing is.

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When we just slow down and stop.

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Yeah.

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All the signs are all around us.

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That's

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Cindy Little: what I had to do.

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Those we love

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

are all around us.

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We just have to stop and listen.

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Yep.

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I talk and often we are so busy when we're

listening, doing other things in our head.

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And trying to make things happen that

we're not really fully listening.

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So it, it does take a long time to get

to a place where all the other stuff can

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fall away and you can really just listen.

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And one thing I wanted to say to the

audience, I think it's so important.

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This book is not just.

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For someone who lost their

son or their daughter.

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This is really pertinent to suicide loss.

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It's pertinent to ideation.

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It's pertinent to mental health

because some of what Cindy suggests

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in there and a lot of what she went

through, she's very raw and real.

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There's no sugar coating and.

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She doesn't come off as

goody two shoes in this book.

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Very real about herself, about her family,

and I've known Cindy for a long time.

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And have great respect for her as a

person, as a business person, as a mom,

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as a wife, and more so now because I'm

reading this book, I was truly moved.

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I really saw that she had to go super,

super deep to put all that on the page.

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And there's so much there that people

can take away from, that you can use.

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It is never, there are never too many

tools you can take to put in your virtual

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toolbox to help you get by because.

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I believe and many like me, believe

that when we get on the grief train,

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we have a ticket for life and we can

get off and we can go join somebody in

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a different car, but we always bring

it with us in one form or another.

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The stages.

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We go back and forth.

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Some believe there are 5, 7, 9, whatever.

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The fact is there is no timeframe.

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There is no, should be this or

should be that it is what it is.

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And if you continue to grieve, then I

want you to do something else as well.

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I want you to continue.

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To say their name, say your loved

one's name, bring up the memories, the

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good, the bad, the funny, keep them

alive for you and everyone around you.

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And that's the other piece

of keeping them alive for us.

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My grandchildren.

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My, my grandmother would've been

their great-great-grandmother.

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But they know her.

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They know her quirks, they know her sense

of humor, they know all those things

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because she's part of our conversations

when the family's together and even

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the little one who's nine can say,

oh, grand would've done such and such.

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And we will laugh because

he's absolutely right.

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He's heard it his whole life.

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What she was like.

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And what she liked and what she

didn't like and what she did.

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And that's how we bring

them along with us.

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Cindy Little: That's right.

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And I'm glad you're mentioning

not Elaine, because I.

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I like talking about our son, and I know

for some people they may think that they

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don't wanna ask questions like my family,

for instance, when I went home for the

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first time after Yeah, Dylan passed.

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They didn't come to the

celebration of life.

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They're 12 hours away.

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And my mom isn't in a condition where

she can drive car and, and nobody

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asked me anything about my son.

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They didn't wanna talk about it.

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It's like they were pretending

that it didn't happen.

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But I did want to share his memory.

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I did wanna talk about it because

every time I talk about it it reminds

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me of him and it keeps him alive.

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It keeps his spirit alive.

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And I think that's where the

book, I think that Dylan was

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like, guided me to do this book.

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And I, I talk about, I ask the question

was I a good enough parent and anybody

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who had a suicide, like my, one of my

best friends she's 22 years my senior.

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I talk about her in my book.

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Sally, she lost her daughter to

suicide 10 months after I lost Dylan.

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And, what I found, or what I've

realized is that yes, we do

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second guess ourselves as parents.

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Did we do enough?

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Could we have done something better?

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I talk about that in the

book and rationalize it.

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I mince it out with myself

and with my editor, and she

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is pulling stuff out of me.

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And what I realized in my

spiritual learnings is that.

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When we come to Earth.

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Now, not everybody is going to believe

this, and that's okay if you don't.

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What my husband doesn't believe in all

the stuff that I believe in and what I've

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written in the book, he doesn't believe

in all of the things that I personally

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feel and learned, and that's okay.

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If you have a spouse that's

like completely different

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thinking than you, right?

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Most women and men are different anyway.

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Very rare, I think if you find

the same spiritually aligned or

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emotionally aligned spouse, right?

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So that just, be aware

of that, first of all.

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You can manage that.

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But what I realized was that that when

we come to earth we choose our family.

355

:

So they chose you as parents for a

reason, whatever that lesson is that we

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:

needed to learn and they needed to learn.

357

:

They chose us as parents.

358

:

And they chose when they were gonna

die and how they were gonna die.

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:

But when you're born,

you forget about that.

360

:

You don't remember that.

361

:

And so it gave me peace knowing

that regardless of what we did

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:

or didn't do as parents, he had a

death date already predetermined.

363

:

And he came to Earth to learn his lessons.

364

:

Whatever lessons those were.

365

:

Maybe his lesson was to, for me

as a parent, to write this book,

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:

to provide the grief information

that people need to have.

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:

I'm not sure who really

knows about anything.

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:

Yeah.

369

:

So that it gave me a sense

of peace knowing that I had

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:

no control over his death.

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:

And I wanna say to the suicide parents,

you had no control over your child.

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They were their own soul.

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:

They were here for their own mission.

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:

Absolutely.

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:

And you did as good as you could with the

tools that you had at the time, right?

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:

I.

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:

We all wanna be better

parents than our own parents.

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:

And I and my daughter, I haven't

released this on social media

379

:

yet, but my daughter is pregnant

and I'm gonna be a grandparent.

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:

Yeah.

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:

Yeah.

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:

I'm so excited.

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:

Yeah she's due next March.

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:

Yes.

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:

And so already, and for her, like

she should wanna be a better parent.

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:

Like I think that we she's

a beautiful young lady.

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:

She's absolutely just heart

centered and she is beautiful.

388

:

And inside and out, and I know that

her children are going to be per

389

:

like, I don't wanna say perfect.

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:

Yeah.

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:

Because what is perfect, right?

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:

What is normal, what is perfect.

393

:

But I know that they'll be good people.

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:

Yeah.

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:

And the work that I've

done spiritually could.

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:

Help.

397

:

The generational lines, seven lines

down and seven lines backwards as well.

398

:

I just wanna add that spiritual

399

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

bit from spiritual.

400

:

We're gonna get a little esoteric

here because I do this sometimes.

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:

My spiritual mentor, who my son dubbed

the holistic missile, because she went

402

:

right to the heart of the matter always.

403

:

She said that souls.

404

:

You the soul chooses the ride.

405

:

It's like a giant earth is like a giant

amusement park, and the soul chooses.

406

:

Do they want the big rides,

the roller coasters, the death

407

:

drops, all the scary stuff.

408

:

Or do they want the teacups?

409

:

Or maybe they want something in between.

410

:

Every soul chooses that

life that they wanna live.

411

:

That's where free will comes in.

412

:

You can decide.

413

:

To stay on that path or you can

modify it in your time here.

414

:

Yeah.

415

:

You are beginning and ending.

416

:

That was set and that's

the way things are.

417

:

But the interesting thing, and I think

part of what always kept me going

418

:

was, she said, souls travel impacts.

419

:

So there's often you meet people and

you don't know what it is about them.

420

:

But they feel very known.

421

:

There isn't a better word than that.

422

:

It's like you've known.

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:

Yeah, you've known them your whole life.

424

:

Kindred.

425

:

Exactly.

426

:

Kindred.

427

:

And those people you gravitate

and those are the people.

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:

Yeah.

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:

That I think we find.

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:

However many go rounds we have,

whatever lessons we're taking and

431

:

learning and coming and going.

432

:

The one thing that we cannot do as parents

or siblings or children or what have

433

:

you, we cannot exert our influence on

their free will because that's judgment,

434

:

and judgment shouldn't come into it.

435

:

And that's for me, that's the only

real law or rule that there is.

436

:

We can try to be better people and

do things better for others, but

437

:

we have to do it without judgment.

438

:

And I think that's, it's really relevant

when we are in grief, when we have lost.

439

:

Someone or many someones.

440

:

It is, I think, imperative that we

remember that because when you go through

441

:

the denial, when you go through the

anger, you can become very judgmental.

442

:

And that's, part of that grief spiral.

443

:

You have to be careful of.

444

:

And you go through all of this in

the book I I made a few notes while

445

:

reading the book and for our audience,

just to give you an idea of something

446

:

that, that I found really important.

447

:

This is not a book that, that you

just have to read from cover to cover.

448

:

It's a book that you can.

449

:

Take bits and go through

them over and over again.

450

:

And I found that there were like five

themes across the book, and that's

451

:

authenticity over perfection, community

and vulnerability, mind body healing.

452

:

And that's like rest, ritual and

physical self-care are super important.

453

:

Continuing bonds that we have.

454

:

Even with those that are deceased,

and that to me is saying their name.

455

:

Keeping pictures around certain

things that people loved.

456

:

Acknowledging that to those around you and

purpose and legacy transforming grief into

457

:

growth, I think is super, super important.

458

:

I honestly don't believe.

459

:

Grief ever goes away.

460

:

I think it's a core lesson

that stays with us to remind us

461

:

that things can be fleeting and

we need to be present in every

462

:

moment for those around us.

463

:

And I really took that to

be reinforced by the book.

464

:

Cindy Little: Yes those are all

the good points, Elaine, for sure.

465

:

It was.

466

:

So

467

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: thank

468

:

Cindy Little: you for,

469

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: there were

so many areas that I think even my

470

:

audience can use from your book.

471

:

I think it's a really useful Tom

that many will be able to use.

472

:

Now what we need to know from you,

473

:

when is this book going to be available?

474

:

Cindy Little: It's at the Formatters right

now and they're formatting it for Amazon.

475

:

So he said once it hits Amazon,

maybe tomorrow or the next day.

476

:

It will take some days for it

to fully excellent complete, but

477

:

I'm putting the 20th of October

as a completion date on it.

478

:

And people can sign up for notification on

the release and they'll get the early bird

479

:

pricing of either an ebook for about 2 99

d the paperback will be about:

480

:

Roughly.

481

:

And so those there might be even

lower prices for the first couple of

482

:

days, and if people purchase it on

the first or second day, they will.

483

:

They will help drive the the sales up and

the recognition of it, and it will get in

484

:

the hands of people who really need it.

485

:

And, this isn't just about for children.

486

:

Losing children.

487

:

It could be for loss of anybody, or

even life transitions like menopause,

488

:

losing a job having something in your

life that really has gotten you down and

489

:

gotten you stuck in an area where you

don't think you can unstick yourself.

490

:

And boy I didn't even realize how.

491

:

How stuck I was.

492

:

Even just up until the other day I was

and it's four years later that I'm just

493

:

really coming back to bus my businesses.

494

:

I have three businesses

and I let all of that go.

495

:

It nothing seemed important anymore.

496

:

Making money, connecting with

people, networking, endless

497

:

Zoom calls and things like that.

498

:

And I used to have a health podcast

that I started when my son was 21.

499

:

And I just none of that seemed important

after the passing of a child, and you'll

500

:

probably relate if you did lose a child.

501

:

And even if you've lost a spouse

or a close family member, it grief

502

:

is grief and no one can say when

the end date is gonna be for you.

503

:

No one can tell you what you should feel.

504

:

I had a friend, was in my wedding

party and she just lost her

505

:

husband to esophageal cancer.

506

:

And they only found it like

two weeks before he died.

507

:

He was stage four and

he died quite quickly.

508

:

And oh, I was sitting on the

beach with her two weeks after

509

:

she lost her husband of 32 years.

510

:

And how am I supposed to feel

like I am I supposed to be

511

:

this emotional all the time?

512

:

And I said, Rachel, there's no.

513

:

There's no you do you, and

it's, everything is okay.

514

:

When it comes to grief.

515

:

There's gonna be rollercoasters.

516

:

You'll feel okay.

517

:

One day you'll feel not great.

518

:

The next day you'll be,

you'll feel hopeless.

519

:

You'll feel all these different feelings

and allow those feelings, feel them.

520

:

Because if you su suppress 'em

and don't allow them to come out.

521

:

Then it's like stuffing them

down into Pandora's box and

522

:

then something will explode.

523

:

You'll have a heart attack

or something like that.

524

:

Or you'll just, just,

take care of yourself.

525

:

Everything is okay.

526

:

And, yeah, that, that

was my advice to her.

527

:

Like I, I felt I knew I had to go

home for her to help her through it.

528

:

And I'm so glad I did

because sometimes you, yeah.

529

:

You need somebody that has been through

it and she knows that, the loss of

530

:

a child is one of the hardest things

that you can ever go through life.

531

:

Yeah, I'm totally

532

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: there with you.

533

:

I can't imagine those both.

534

:

I just wanted to say to the audience,

that's the cover of the book that

535

:

is on the screen now instead of me.

536

:

The only thing that's not on that

cover is my Dark Pollyanna logo,

537

:

which seems to be at the top.

538

:

My apologies.

539

:

It's.

540

:

Yes.

541

:

Yeah, that's,

542

:

yeah.

543

:

Cindy Little: And that's a dragon

and dragonflies are a good sign.

544

:

They're very very

transformational and good luck.

545

:

And when you see I, I was

dragonflies in my yard.

546

:

I actually had nine of 'em in a

chain that is so cool on my leg.

547

:

One day

548

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I took

a picture and I also wanted to say

549

:

blown away because you can't really.

550

:

Understand it from this picture.

551

:

Yeah.

552

:

But that is Dylan's bench that you are

seeing in the forefront of the cover of

553

:

the book, which I just think is beautiful.

554

:

I will have a picture in the show notes

that is a little better, that actually

555

:

shows the engraving on the bench.

556

:

Oh good.

557

:

That picture?

558

:

Yeah.

559

:

Cindy Little: And it's actually on

the inside of the book too, Elaine.

560

:

The excellent,

561

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: excellent.

562

:

Cindy Little: Yeah.

563

:

It's on the dedication page at the front.

564

:

Yeah.

565

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

I just I'm, yeah.

566

:

Wow.

567

:

I'm so relieved that you have

brought yourself through.

568

:

To this other side and allowing

yourself to find joy again, which is

569

:

something that quite often we don't do.

570

:

And it is critical for us to be

able to find joy again after loss.

571

:

And you were quite right in saying

a loss can be any number of things.

572

:

People don't realize how I.

573

:

Difficult it can be to lose anything from

a relationship to a job, to, to a pet.

574

:

A lot of times people don't realize

how devastating that can be as

575

:

well and I am not saying one weighs

the same as the other, or doesn't.

576

:

What I'm saying is we have to acknowledge.

577

:

That grief and loss are parts of life,

and we have to be smart enough to allow

578

:

ourselves, as you said, to feel them.

579

:

Feelings, for the most part,

are over in 90 seconds.

580

:

If you allow yourself to feel

and go on, you'll have a much

581

:

healthier, happier, and better life.

582

:

And don't forget October 20th.

583

:

Is when the book will come out.

584

:

Do yourself a huge favor

and go get the book.

585

:

I'm telling you, there's

something in there for everyone,

586

:

and I don't say that lightly.

587

:

I am a voracious reader.

588

:

I love books.

589

:

But I did say to Cindy before we came

on, I have written a review for her

590

:

because I really was blown away by how.

591

:

Real.

592

:

She is.

593

:

It takes an awful lot of fortitude

to look at ourselves in the

594

:

mirror and really see ourselves.

595

:

And you did that.

596

:

You absolutely did that,

and for what I know.

597

:

Dylan is so proud of you.

598

:

Thank you.

599

:

I am that means a lot.

600

:

I'm really honored to have had

Cindy Little with us today.

601

:

I'm Elaine Lindsay.

602

:

This is Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

603

:

And until next time, make the very

most of your today, every day.

604

:

Bye for now.

605

:

Voiceover: Thank you for being

here for another inspiring episode

606

:

of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

607

:

We appreciate you tuning in.

608

:

Please subscribe and download on your

favorite service and check out SFS

609

:

YouTube channel or Facebook community.

610

:

If you have the chance to leave

a five star rating or review,

611

:

they'd be greatly appreciated.

612

:

Please refer this to a friend you

know, who may benefit from the hope

613

:

and inspiration from our guests.

614

:

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615

:

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616

:

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617

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619

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620

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621

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:

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624

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Shattering Stigma Igniting Hope

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About your host

Profile picture for Elaine Lindsay

Elaine Lindsay

A unique blend of finely tuned chaos with a boatload of compassion. An unfiltered speaker, resilience mentor, and podcast host with 50+ years of lived experience navigating suicidal ideation, Pollyanna’s glad game, trauma, chronic illness, and the power of showing up anyway.

Elaine Lindsay🎤 Speaker | Host | Podcaster | 6x Suicide Loss |@TheDarkPollyanna - Opinionated AF
#Youmatter | Let’s start #ConverSAVEtions