Episode 6
Rebuilding After Loss: Cathy Bass’ Path to Advocacy and Healing
10 6
Rebuilding After Loss: Cathy Bass’ Path to Advocacy and Healing
Show Notes
Trigger Warning: discussion includes sudden death, grief, trauma, and vulnerability.
In this raw and real episode of the Suicide Zen Forgiveness podcast, host Elaine Lindsay (aka “The Dark Pollyanna”) sits down with Cathy Bass — a 25‑year veteran tax professional turned author and widow. Cathy shares how she lost her husband in a tragic kayaking accident, confronted the hidden wounds he carried, and then faced the wreckage of grief, widowhood, and financial vulnerability.
She opens up about the shock of finding herself suddenly responsible for children, bills, vultures disguised as helpers, and her own fog of loss. Cathy also reveals how writing her story (in the anthology Unbreakable Spirit: 18 Stories of Feminine Resilience, Blessings and Renewal) became a healing portal, how she reclaimed joy for her children and herself, and how she now works to ensure other widows don’t go it alone.
Elaine and Cathy dig into the taboo: how society treats widows, how scammers target them, the unspoken grief of children, and the idea that the “grief train” has no final stop — you ride when you need to, you step off when you can. The bottom line: loss might land you in the darkest corridor, but you still have choices — you still have agency.
By episode’s end you’ll recognize the power of speaking your story, the importance of remembering that grief is love, and that even when the door slams shut you can — painstakingly, stubbornly — open another.
💥 What We Talk About:
- Cathy’s husband’s death: a kayaking accident that revealed deeper trauma and secret suffering
- The double‑blow of grief and becoming financially vulnerable overnight
- Why widows are easy targets: scams, manipulations, funeral‑industry guilt trips
- The role of children in grief: returning to “playful self” and letting kids see you living again
- Writing as medicine: how journaling and contributing to Unbreakable Spirit set Cathy on a path
- “Grief train” metaphor & the lifelong journey of living forward
- Practical tips: what widows (and their support‑networks) need to watch out for — especially around money & exploitation
- The ultimate message: you don’t have to get over it. You have to get through it. And then you build a new “through.”
🔗 How to Connect with Cathy Bass:
- Book: Unbreakable Spirit: 18 Stories of Feminine Resilience, Blessings and Renewal — Cathy’s chapter “From Tears to Treasure” is her personal story. Everand+2Evolve Systems Group+2
- Cathy also works helping widows with financial stability and coaching.
- (Assumed) Link below in show description or via podcast website for her website/services.
📞 If You’re in Crisis:
If you're in North America, text 988 for free, 24/7 support.
Elsewhere? Please reach out to your local suicide prevention or mental health hotline. #YouMatter.
💬 Subscribe, rate, and share if this episode moved you. It could be the lifeline someone else didn’t know they needed. #ConverSAVEtions
Bio
Enrolled Agent, is not just your average tax expert; she’s a powerhouse in the world of tax relief and financial empowerment. A
s the founder of Bass Tax Relief in Arlington, Texas, Catherine has solidified her reputation as a leading authority on resolving individual and small business tax dilemmas with the IRS. With over 25 years of hands-on experience, she has represented thousands of taxpayers.
Beyond her professional credentials. She is a resilient widow, juggling life with two young adult children and two loving dogs. In her downtime, she immerses herself in the joys of reading, hiking, and rocking out at concerts with her daughter.
Now, as she embraces the wisdom of middle age, Catherine has set her sights on helping other women who have faced loss find their way to abundance. Drawing from her own journey through grief, she’s passionate about sharing the healing skills she has cultivated. With Catherine, it’s not just about taxes, it’s about transforming lives.
Links & Socials
©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.
https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/rebuilding-after-loss-cathy-bass-path-to-advocacy-and-healing
Elaine Lindsay
Explicit
Transcript
Shifted, break the same.
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:A check, say their name,
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:lifelines Let
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:For Let Love
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:Day.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hello there.
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:It's great to be back.
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:I'm Elaine Lindsay.
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:This is Suicide Zen Forgiveness.
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:And with me today is my guest, Cathy Bass.
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:Hello, Cathy.
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:Hi.
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:It's great to have you with us today.
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:Ha.
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:As our audience knows, we cover
everything from suicide loss ideation.
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:Mental health and the
environments they're within.
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:We are going to start off
with Cathy giving us a little
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:bit of information about her.
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:So I'll let you take it away for now.
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:Cathy Bass: Okay.
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:Yeah.
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:So I'm Cathy Bass.
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:I'm an enrolled agent.
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:I've been helping tax preparers or
fight against the IRS for over 25 years.
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:And and I've also
recently become an author.
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:Of my book, UN Well, a part of my book,
a chapter in the book, unbreakable
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:Spirit where I write a chapter or
wrote a chapter about the death of my
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:husband and and how my healing through
the death of my husband transform
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:my me into abundance after the fact.
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:Once I once I realized.
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:He had things to heal.
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:I had things to heal.
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:And anyway, so that's the right,
the story about my transformation
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:but dealing with his death.
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:So that's, and that's why
I'm here today, obviously.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
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:And my condolences it's always
difficult when we lose someone.
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:And I speak from experience this year.
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:I actually lost my father.
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:He was 92, so we were very blessed.
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:However, it doesn't matter.
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:We don't like to lose the people we love.
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:Cathy Bass: No.
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:Not at all.
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:And and so I'm a recovering
widow of six and a half years.
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:And now I'm, and I say recovering
'cause I feel like it's one of those
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:things you just never get over.
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:But anyways, and in the book I
don't really talk about suicide.
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:I didn't hit on the suicide
aspect of his death.
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:It's kind, oh, I'm here to share that side
of the story, which I didn't write about.
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:Theme song: Yeah.
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:But
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:Cathy Bass: anyways, and in doing that and
through my healing, I have realized that
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:I wanna help widows during their grief and
help them with their financial, or to have
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:financial stability during their grief.
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:While you're dealing with all the
mess of grief, finance, this is the
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:last thing you wanna think about.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.
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:Yeah.
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:Cathy Bass: So anyway, so that's, so
since going through this transformation,
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:I realized that's my place here on
earth is to help other widows succeed.
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:Instead of
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:Not, yeah.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That actually
that's a very noble of you for sure.
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:It's gotta be hard to find
yourself all of a sudden.
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:Probably doing things that really were
not a part of your day to day in, in
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:your husband handled the finance and,
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:Cathy Bass: Actually I handled the
finance, so for me on that side
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:of things, I was a easy peasy.
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:But on the other side, which
is the mental side, and then.
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:Dealing with, everything that, that
was the hard part obviously, but but
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:in that's why I feel like this is my
place to help the widows because I do
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:have the strong financial background,
but that I can help them through that.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: So
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:in, in a way, actually on the one
hand, that would be more difficult
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:because you would have to be paying
attention to things that probably
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:were not uppermost in your mind.
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:And you have a daughter.
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:Cathy Bass: A daughter and a son.
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:So they were both 12
and 15 when he passed.
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:So that was not the best ages.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: No.
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:There, there aren't any good ages,
but that's really hard to be young
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:teens and wow, that's so difficult.
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:I'm gonna let you start
where you wanna start.
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:And I think something that, that
our audience knows and that we
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:share here is sharing our stories
can help lighten the burden.
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:And I find that it goes for the
audience as well as my guests.
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:Without further ado.
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:You can take control now, Cathy.
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:Cathy Bass: Thank you.
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:I appreciate that.
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:Yeah, so my whole healing started when
I started writing my chapter for this
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:book which was funny how it transformed.
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:I was just gonna write my money story and
I wasn't really gonna get into the widow
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:hood and my husband and things like that.
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:But once.
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:Once I started writing and all
of that we call it flow writing.
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:So we, I was getting a lot of things
and a lot of memories and a lot of
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:things that were coming back to me
as I was writing, so it really turned
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:into a healing process for me and
the healing that I went through.
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:And but in writing the story also it's,
there's so many layers to the story,
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:so I could write a whole book on the
whole thing instead of just a chapter.
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:But, but my husband's story's a
little interesting in the fact
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:that he so I guess I'll start with
how he passed so we can just get
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:to the nitty gritty of everything.
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:But so he was working on my mother's house
trying to get it fixed up so we could sell
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:it to move on and do things for ourselves
anyways he had gone out kayaking that day
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:and he did not tie his kay kayak up Good.
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:And it had floated out into
the middle of the lake.
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:And so he went to go retrieve the
kayak and it was about 50 yards out.
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:He drowned on his way
to retrieving his kayak.
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:Theme song: He made it
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:Cathy Bass: right up to it and just
couldn't, it was a nice spring day.
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:So it was beautiful weather, but it
was the temperature of the water was
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:like 48 degrees is what they Oh, wow.
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:The fact.
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:So it was like a shock
to his system, I think.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
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:Cathy Bass: Anyway, so he either
cramped up or had a heart attack and.
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:His sliping to the kayak.
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:And then when he got right up to it and
then tried to grab on and he couldn't
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:lift his arm up from what, 'cause there
were people in boats around him that
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:tried to go and save him and everything.
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:So it was
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:Theme song: Oh wow.
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:Cathy Bass: So it was accidental.
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:But he also struggled which I
write about this in the story a
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:little bit of how he did struggle.
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:He was abused as a child sexually,
physically and how that was a.
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:Affected him his entire life.
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:Yeah.
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:And so it was rule drowning, accidental,
but I know my husband and I know that
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:he decided to take, that was the day.
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:So let me just breathe into that for a
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: minute.
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:You just take your time,
go at your own pace.
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:This is a lot because I
understand you didn't share any
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:of this in the book, so Yeah.
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:This is extremely new.
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:Cathy Bass: And a lot of people, when
I tell them that they think I've lost
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:my mind and tell me I, I don't know.
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:How do you know that this
and that, I know my husband.
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:I know, I just know.
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:I don't know how else to tell you.
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:But and I can go onto more stories
behind that where I do know it's,
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:that's of what, what triggered me to
wanna be on your podcast was that.
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:It took a whole nother level of
healing for me, realizing that it
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:was on purpose, but accidental, but
anyway, so that's what brought me here
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:and led me to, and I've gone through
several things and writing the book,
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:I could talk about how I struggled and
almost died while I was writing it and
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:almost didn't make it into the book.
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:And then that's not good.
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:No.
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:But again, it was just part of my
healing and my part of my transformation,
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:and I've come out on the other side.
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:So much stronger and wiser.
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:And I wanna help other people, and I
wanna, if I can help other people that
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:are in the same place he was, that just
makes me even, makes me feel even better.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh, absolutely.
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:And you had said about widows and
helping widows because you have this
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:background in finance, which I think is
wonderful because that's, I think, one
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:of the last things you wanna deal with.
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:When there's been a death
is anything that's mundane
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:routine, but requires doing.
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:You can't just leave the finances alone
'cause you don't feel like it, but
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:quite often after a death, there's a
lot of things you don't feel like doing.
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:Cathy Bass: Yes, for sure.
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:And then you, and you're also bombarded
with all these scams and different
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:things because you're a target.
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:Theme song: Oh my God.
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:' Cathy Bass: cause you're a widow
and that was also overwhelming
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:dealing with all that.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I have.
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:I hadn't even thought of that.
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:But that makes perfect sense.
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:There's so much out there now.
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:It's it's, you need a booklet for people.
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:That, that tell them
what to watch out for.
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:Because there's, there
is so much out there.
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:I know I talked to other friends that
have elderly parents and people are
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:always concerned with, what do we do?
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:How do we make sure they
don't get scammed by people?
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:How do we make sure that.
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:They're not buying into any of these
schemes that are online or on the
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:phone or it's very difficult these
days for people to protect themselves.
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:Cathy Bass: Yes.
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:And you're also vulnerable because
you're lonely, and they know Yeah.
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:Oh yeah.
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:That you're, of course you're not
really everyone's different, everyone
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:grieves differently, but yes, it's
like they, they're, they know all
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:the soft points to come at you
with, to try to, take advantage.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
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:And it, it's such a vulnerable time.
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:A as a widow it would be.
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:You definitely really have to
watch out and be much more aware,
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:which sometimes isn't all that
possible when you're grieving,
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:Cathy Bass: right?
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:You're in such a fog, you're doing
good to get outta bed, let alone pay
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:a bill, you know's, oh, absolutely.
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:So it's, it is definitely a struggle.
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:And then what got me the most
was I think the people that.
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:That you would think where your safe
your financial advisor, the funeral
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:homes, the different things like
that, that are there to support you.
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:They're also after your money
and trying to scam you as well
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:or, buy that fancy coffin because
your husband would've wanted that.
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:And he told me he wanted to be
in a pine box cremated, yeah.
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:It was like, and for them to try
to tell me how, what my husband
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:wanted is just insane, but they.
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:But again, they're trying to make money,
but so you just get more hurt every
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:time you go out into the world because
there's someone else that you're just
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:banging your head against the wall,
trying to just make it through the day.
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:But yet everybody wants
something from you still,
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
That's so true and it's funny
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:that they all play on shame.
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:The buy the better casket.
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:It'd be a shame to put him in
something, not spectacular.
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:We went through that as well with my dad.
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:My father would've been mortified.
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:If
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:we had given him some big fancy
schmanzy casket, he would've
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:been
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:very annoyed.
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:Cathy Bass: Exactly like how
dare they tell us what we know?
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:Yeah.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
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:It's like these are our people we know.
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:But that being able to play on that shame
and guilt that everybody seems to feel
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:because you wanna do right by your people.
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:It's it's unfortunate, but it does
play into the worst people out there.
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:And for the average widow,
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:God, it is something I hadn't
actually thought about, but it's
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:got to be so difficult protecting
yourself, protecting your kids.
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:And just in passing, your kids are
with other kids that they let them
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:know that they've lost a parent.
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:That's when you get those vultures
circling around they know where to look.
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:Which it really can be very scary
when you think about what's out there.
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:What's the, what are a couple of things
you would suggest to someone who is
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:recently widowed to watch out for?
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:Cathy Bass: Just everything.
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:No no, I'm teasing.
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:But the biggest thing is it depends
on how active you are on social media.
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:Social media is one of the biggest
targets where they come in at, and
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:you're just trying to fill a void of.
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:You know your fam for your family and
so your, so I would go to Facebook to
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:reach out to my friends and family to,
to talk and get support through them.
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:But in that, I'm also getting
inundated by these friend requests
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:or even comments on the post on,
oh, I just wanna be your friend.
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:And then I'm like here's a
platform we can be friends on.
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:On this post if you wanna be my
friend, but they don't talk to you
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:after that because they're, they just
want your money or whatever they're
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:after, it's but it's just everywhere.
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:And it's no.
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:It's almost like they, if you
post about it, they know about it.
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:But if you don't, then that's still,
you're still a target as I, anyways.
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:Yeah, it's and like I said, the funeral
homes when you go in there, I also
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:have another widow friend of mine
that she went to her financial advisor
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:and he was just telling her that she
needed to get remarried instead of.
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:That her husband would want her
to be remarried and she's over and
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:it's you don't even know my husband.
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:But it's oh my God.
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:The stories I've been hearing
from other widows is just
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:really blowing my mind like.
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:On how, like it's a new
something every day.
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:I'm hearing about how you could
be scammed or how someone's just
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:trying to tell you what to do or
Yeah, you need to sell your house.
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:When I'm ready to sell my house not
this week, maybe next year, whatever.
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:It's all the vultures just come
outta hiding and it's, yeah.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Wow.
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:Yeah it's really something
you don't think about.
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:But I know we did a few
experiments online with.
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:Walking by friends, we're in a restaurant
or somewhere and you start talking about
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:something that is of no interest to them.
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:We have a single friend and I started
talking about red sequin, high
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:heels, stilettos, blah, blah, blah.
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:This was little experiment we did.
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:The next time he got online he
said, I don't know what's going on.
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:I'm getting inundated with women's shoes.
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:I dunno what's going on.
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:But that's exactly what goes
on and how they target people.
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:And when you respond on social
media, there are actually scammers
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:that are looking for posts.
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:For condolences and for, and there's ones
even for, children that are graduating
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:and different things that they have a
hold on an alert so that they can see
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:these, so that they can pull whatever
scam they're working on at the time.
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:Which is really quite awful.
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:But it's a, I think it's really about.
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:Protecting yourself, which
is really hard at that time.
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:So I think it's almost important
for people to find out way ahead of
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:time, almost before you lose anybody
what you have to watch out for.
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:You know
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:What is it?
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:Forearmed is forewarned or
forewarned is forearmed.
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:However that works.
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:Because it, you are not the first
person I've heard this from.
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:And it is, it, to me, it's the worst
in humanity coming out when someone's
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:already hurting, the last thing they
need is someone preying on them.
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:Cathy Bass: Exactly.
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:And then other ones we're talking
about family members, your, the
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:children of the spouse that now are,
want their inheritance and thing.
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:It's the list goes on and on.
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:It's pretty much anyone that
breathe could be a scammer.
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:It's sad but true.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Definitely sad but true.
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:But yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:And making sure that you
can protect yourself and you
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:can protect your children.
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:Is so important and more than
that, it's how do you protect
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:your children from people around
them when they're not with you.
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:In public and in social media.
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:Were you able to curtail their social
media or were you directly involved
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:and knew where they were online or?
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:Cathy Bass: No, actually that's one
thing I let them do on their own,
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:but is to give them the privacy to,
to do and say what they would like.
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:But I'm very but I was always
talking to them about it and
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:saying, Hey, this goes on.
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:Just watch out for this.
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:Just giving them tips on what to
look out for, but not really trying
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:to, because I wanted to give them.
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:In case they didn't wanna say things
to me, me specifically, to make me
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:sad, because that's another struggle
when you're dealing with death, is that
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:your children don't want you to be sad.
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:So they don't necessarily
wanna talk to you about it.
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:Even though I'm trying to pull it
outta them and want them to talk
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:about it, they're just, they came
up, so that's been a struggle too.
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:Yeah.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
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:And it is hard when.
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:The family's grieving because there's
always going to be family members
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:who don't wanna say anything because
they don't wanna hurt anyone else
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:when the other people want to hear.
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:Okay.
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:I am a firm believer in, say
their name, my, my grandmother.
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:Not just my mom, my kids'
grandmother, but my own grandmother.
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:I've said this before in
the show my grandchildren.
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:Long after she was gone.
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:They know her, like she's been
with them all along because we
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:talk about her and her memories.
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:And when the whole family's at dinner,
granny and Aunt Kathleen and my mom
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:and dad and my husband's mom and dad,
they're all part of the conversation.
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:We bring the family with us.
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:And I think it's important
to keep their memories alive.
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:But it's also important that
connection for our children.
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:Even though people are gone,
their memories are still
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:there for us and absolutely.
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:For your kids.
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:And I just have to say I love
your answer there that you.
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:Like over lording them.
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:You were letting them do their thing
try trying to be circumspect and still
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:letting them know what was out there.
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:I think that's probably the best way
to go depending on how young they are.
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:And depending on how
impressionable some kids are.
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:It is a very fine line to walk and,
we're millennials and Gen Z and now the
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:alphas we're in the third generation
who have never not known the internet.
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:So
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:they, a lot of them are.
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:Much more savvy than we would think.
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:Cathy Bass: Oh yeah.
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:And they're gonna, they're
gonna circumvent it anyway, so
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:my fault.
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:Anyways, they'll find a way
around it, so That's so true.
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:That is so true.
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:But it does make me sad that I, and I,
and now they're finally starting to come
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:around and talk more about their father
and stuff, but for a long time I was.
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:It was like pulling teeth,
trying to get them to talk
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:and, and to me, grief is love.
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:And that is how we keep them alive
and in our memories and, and I,
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:so I'm trying to instill that in
them and to let them know is okay.
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:And if I cry, that's okay.
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:Is, it's just part of the
what goes along with it.
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:That's how we're gonna heal.
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:That's how we're gonna move
on to the next step in life,
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That is such
a good and healthy attitude because
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:very often yeah, the kids don't
wanna say anything 'cause they don't
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:wanna upset the parents that's left.
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:And that can create its own very toxic
environment for the children and the mom
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:or dad who, whoever may be left because
it is, if you allow that wall to build up.
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:It can be very difficult.
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:And, we've seen it over time
in, in families who have
381
:lost a spouse to whatever.
382
:It can be really hard if the children
are not brought into the conversations
383
:after, part of the funeral, part of
what's happening at the cemetery.
384
:Part of those things.
385
:It is more important now because
children are much more aware of all the
386
:stages of life now than they ever were.
387
:When I was a kid I'm gonna be 70 soon.
388
:So when I was a kid,
somebody in the family died.
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:That wasn't immediately
like in the room with you.
390
:It was, they died and that was it.
391
:You never heard another thing.
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:And then.
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:There would be like a cooling off period,
and then they would be brought back into
394
:the conversation at the dinner table
and their memories would be kept going.
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:But there was this certain period of
silence that I just used to find odd.
396
:Cathy Bass: Yeah.
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:And like your friends and family
do the same thing, they don't
398
:wanna talk to you about it because.
399
:And it's I've got the plane now because
my husband died, and it's I, yes,
400
:I'm, it's but I'm not contagious.
401
:At least I hope I That's
402
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: so true.
403
:Yeah.
404
:Yeah.
405
:So did you find you
friends drifted away or
406
:Cathy Bass: Yeah.
407
:Yeah.
408
:My core friends that I've had for a
really long time, they've still been
409
:there, but the ones that I've met over
the years that have been in and out, they.
410
:They all ran like chickens.
411
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It can
be so hard to deal with reality.
412
:And we, there are people who will say,
oh it, it's what stage are you in?
413
:It's time to get over your group.
414
:No.
415
:No, it's not.
416
:There is no time.
417
:Okay.
418
:You get over it when you get
over it, but I personally.
419
:I believe that once you board the grief
train, you will always have a seat.
420
:And that you get on and you
get off as life goes by.
421
:And sometimes when someone else, loses
someone, you get back on to support them.
422
:But it is, it becomes a lifelong journey.
423
:Cathy Bass: Yeah.
424
:And people who don't see that, I
think they're just fooling themselves.
425
:Yeah.
426
:A little bit or and we've
done the best we can.
427
:We do the best we can with what we've got.
428
:I'm not trying to say that Yeah.
429
:Or wrong in their beliefs, but
at the same time, it's like you.
430
:Yeah.
431
:That's important to me too.
432
:I agree with you 100%.
433
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: The reason I
do this podcast is because I lost one
434
:of my very best friends when I was 16.
435
:Her name was Andrea.
436
:And that's more than 50 years ago.
437
:And yet there are some days
when it just hits you full in
438
:the face and it just has to be.
439
:And the fact is, when we love people,
we wanna keep their essence with us.
440
:And being able to tell people that.
441
:Being able to tell people it's
okay to talk about people.
442
:It's okay to keep their
memories alive no matter what.
443
:I think that is so critically important.
444
:Cathy Bass: Yeah, I do too.
445
:A hundred percent.
446
:Oh, I lost what I was gonna say.
447
:I'm so sorry.
448
:Okay.
449
:It's okay.
450
:Go ahead.
451
:And what's the name of the book?
452
:It's Unbreakable Spirit.
453
:It's 18 Stories of Feminine
Resilience, blessings and Renewal.
454
:And it's 18 different women that have
gone through different struggles in
455
:life and how they, surpassed their
struggles and how we all made it through
456
:and are making it to the other side.
457
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Oh, that is awesome.
458
:Cathy Bass: So it's very, it's it's
like it's, we call it like a woman's
459
:circle where we all came together and
we wrote and supported each other.
460
:And that brought me back to what I
was gonna say, which was that the
461
:writing, that was one thing that
helped me with, like what you said
462
:about the healing writing was how
I was able to keep those memories.
463
:'cause when he, when my husband
first died, I was terrified.
464
:Oh, I'm gonna start forgetting, I'm
gonna start forgetting some of the stuff.
465
:And so I just started writing all
the, every time I'd have a memory I'm
466
:grabbing my journal, writing it down.
467
:And that was what started my journey
with writing and never thought
468
:I was gonna, maybe when I retire
I'll write and this and that.
469
:But it really led me to the
book and the healing and that
470
:writing, was the medicine.
471
:So the itch that,
472
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: and that's yeah.
473
:That's so important because I think
one thing that, that a lot of people
474
:don't think about, but as you heal.
475
:Your children get to heal too.
476
:And the more you heal you, the
better it is for your kids.
477
:Cathy Bass: Yeah.
478
:And I see that happening now with
my children, now that I'm starting
479
:to become my playful self again and
actually, trying to enjoy life again.
480
:They're just kinda who are you?
481
:What's going on?
482
:I'm like, no, this is where
we're supposed to end up.
483
:I wanna laugh and smile when I think
of my husband now, I don't wanna cry.
484
:I'm still going to have
those days and that's okay.
485
:Yeah.
486
:But I wanna, I just wanna live his,
not live his life, but, still respect
487
:his life and keep his life alive.
488
:Keep his memory alive.
489
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Oh, ab absolutely.
490
:And I think that's that's the,
making the best of the situation and.
491
:Understanding, like I think the
writing probably helped you get to
492
:a place where you understood that
you could move on in certain areas.
493
:Because I know that there's a
time after you lose someone,
494
:particularly this way where it
feels like a betrayal to laugh it.
495
:Like you find something funny,
enjoy the day, feel like, oh.
496
:Oh, that's, that's not fair.
497
:I'm enjoying and he's not, or she's not,
and we have to get past those things.
498
:But part of the issue, and part of
why I do this podcast is because
499
:we are still keeping the stigma,
the shame, and the silence that
500
:makes it hard for people to handle.
501
:Suicide and ideation, and
even mental health problems.
502
:If we bring these out into the open
and we start what I call conversations,
503
:that's how we save lives, and
that is my ultimate goal here.
504
:Love is to save lives and I
cannot thank you enough for.
505
:For coming on the show and
sharing with us your journey.
506
:If you could leave
507
:anyone who's, who becomes widowed
or anyone who has recently been
508
:widowed with something that you think
would be very important for them
509
:to know or to do, what would it be?
510
:Cathy Bass: I would say
that, feel your feelings.
511
:Let 'em flow.
512
:That's the only way
you're gonna get through.
513
:You're gonna, you're gonna have
bad days, you're gonna have
514
:few good days, mostly bad days.
515
:And, you just gotta, you gotta
feel your way through them.
516
:So when you come out on the other side,
you're not still dealing with that,
517
:with the anger and the shock and all
the stuff that will go away with time.
518
:If you do the grieving.
519
:If you don't do the grieving,
it'll still be there.
520
:And that's another point in my chapter,
not to start a whole nother conversation,
521
:but I've had a lot of death in my life.
522
:And one of my coaches actually said
to me that Death is your friend.
523
:And I cringed because I was
like, no, I don't like that.
524
:But at the same time I, once it hit
me, I was like, this is why I'm here.
525
:I'm here because I can help
people through this grief process.
526
:I can help them financially,
I can help them, whatever.
527
:I can just sit with them, whatever,
give 'em a hug, whatever that, whatever
528
:they need, that's what I wanna do.
529
:And so I applaud you for what you do too.
530
:And I, it's so important because,
24 7, 365 is a hundred percent.
531
:A hundred percent.
532
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Thank you.
533
:Thank you.
534
:This, it's been lovely to get to meet you.
535
:It's really nice when I get to meet
someone who's talking about their
536
:healing journey and you can really see
they have come through that journey.
537
:Sometimes people think they've made
it through and they really haven't
538
:and it can be very sad, but you
have obviously done the hard work
539
:and that is super commendable.
540
:It is it's difficult.
541
:I offer you my condolences.
542
:Totally.
543
:I offer you my thanks
for coming on the show.
544
:I know our audience does as
well, but please remember, okay.
545
:Cathy is also in tax services folks,
so I think that's important, and
546
:you can see her website down below.
547
:Us and down below that will be
all the show notes and all the
548
:information and how you can get ahold
of Cathy, how you can get ahold of
549
:the book with Cathy's story in it.
550
:And anything else you need to know
about Cathy will be there as well.
551
:I thank you so much for
being my guest, Cathy.
552
:I really do appreciate you coming on.
553
:I'm hoping you, you join us and
be part of the Dark Pollyanna
554
:crew who is doing 24 7 365.
555
:We're gonna keep hope alive
for each and every one of you.
556
:I thank you, I thank my audience,
and as I always say, make the
557
:very best of your today every
day, and we'll see you next time.
558
:Bye for now.
559
:Voiceover: Thank you for being
here for another inspiring episode
560
:of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.
561
:We appreciate you tuning in.
562
:Please subscribe and download on your
favorite service and check out SFS
563
:YouTube channel or Facebook community.
564
:If you have the chance to leave
a five star rating or review,
565
:it'd be greatly appreciated.
566
:Please refer this to a friend you
know, who may benefit from the hope
567
:and inspiration from our guests.
568
:Suicide Zen Forgiveness was
brought to you by the following
569
:sponsors, TROOL social Media.
570
:The digital integration specialists.
571
:Let them get you rocking page
one in the search results.
572
:Canada's keynote, Humourist, Judy Croon,
motivational speaker, comedian, author,
573
:and standup coach at Second City.
574
:Judy has been involved for over
a decade in the City Street
575
:Outreach program in Toronto.
576
:Do you have a story to share?
577
:Do you know someone you think
would be a great guests hero?
578
:Please go to SZF four two.com
579
:and for our American listeners,
that's s zf four two.com.
580
:Thank you for listening.
581
:To see you again
582
:Theme song: through the pain we all
583
:in.
