Episode 22

full
Published on:

13th May 2025

The MentorWell with Chris Coulter

9 22

The MentorWell with Chris Coulter

Show Notes

Empowering Teens: The Power of Emotional Intelligence and Mentorship

In this episode, the host delves into difficult topics such as suicide, mental health, and the importance of asking for help, featuring guest Chris Coulter. Chris introduces MentorWell, a program designed to help teens and young adults build essential emotional intelligence skills. He shares the origins of the project, stemming from his personal experience of losing his daughter to suicide. Chris discusses the importance of mentorship, emotional intelligence, and the innovative tool called TeenSpeak, which uses AI to help mediate and resolve conflicts between parents and teens. The episode highlights the crucial need for emotional intelligence in schools and society, and shares insights into how technology and mentorship can support mental health and well-being across generations.


00:00 Introduction and Purpose

01:39 Meet the Guest: Chris Coter

02:02 The MentorWell Initiative

05:19 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

10:01 Challenges in Parenting and Mentorship

16:09 Leveraging AI for Connection

28:02 The Future of AI and Its Impact

30:06 AI's Artistic Capabilities

30:58 AI as a Mentor and Conflict Resolution Tool

33:20 Generational Differences in Parenting

39:02 The Evolution of Teen Speak

44:24 Global Reach and Future Plans

50:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts



Bio

Chris Coulter

CEO and Co-founder of The Mentor Well.

Chris is an entrepreneur, mental health advocate, and proud father driven by a deep and personal mission: to create a world where every young person feels seen, supported, and capable. After losing his 14-year-old daughter Maddie to suicide, Chris transformed unimaginable pain into purpose, dedicating his life to youth mental health and emotional well-being. He founded The Mentor Well, an online mentorship platform designed to help teens and young adults build confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Chris believes that meaningful mentorship—especially from emotionally intelligent adults—can change the trajectory of a young life. With over 30 years of experience in business, including estate and legacy planning through The Finish Line Group, he now helps other business owners align wealth with purpose. Chris’s work bridges the gap between success and significance, honouring Maddie’s legacy by showing that one person’s story, shared honestly, can spark change in another’s life.


Links & Socials

The MentorWell LinkedIn

The MentorWell Instagram

Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All website

©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.

https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/the-mentorwell-with-chris-coulter

Elaine Lindsay

Explicit

Transcript
Speaker:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Suicide, then

forgiveness, shadowing, stigma, igniting,

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and

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stigma.

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We talk about the hard stuff

because asking for help should

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be as easy as ordering a coffee.

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Here we share real stories from

those who've lost someone survived

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an attempt, live with ideation or

battle mental health challenges, Why?

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because sharing your burden

can lighten your load

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Please note suicide and forgiveness.

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The podcast is for education only.

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Some of the subject matter could be

triggering for those who are either

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grieving or having mental health problems.

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If you are in North America, you can

text 9 8 8 for immediate support.

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And if you are elsewhere, please reach

out to your local suicide hotline for

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mental health service, you matter.

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My aim is to normalize the

conversation so you feel safe

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enough to speak up and ask for help.

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So now let's start the show.

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Good afternoon.

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I am super excited to be here today

with a returning guest, Chris Coter.

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Thank you so much for coming back.

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Chris Coulter: Thanks

for having me, Elaine.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

I'm so excited because I.

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As much as what we do, there is always

grief and sadness and loss involved.

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Today we are talking about things that

can really help and Chris is going

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to introduce the MentorWell, and I'm

gonna get him to talk all about that.

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Chris has a partner that he's also

gonna tell you about, and when we

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get into it, I'm gonna tell you that.

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Anybody who knows me knows you can't

tell me there's something out there

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that has tools that work without

me bumbling in and trying them.

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And I wanna tell you that one of the

things they have is called Team Speak.

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We'll get to that, but I can tell

you, oh my God, it works wonderfully.

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And with that, Chris,

please, you take the mic.

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Chris Coulter: Thanks, Selene.

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Thanks for having me back, and

thanks for giving me an opportunity

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to share about, about the mentor?

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It's it's exciting.

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It's been a, it's been a year and a

half in the making but it's finally

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launched and we're up and running.

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We just hit a thousand, or we're

over a thousand followers on

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LinkedIn, which is all organic.

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So the one thing that I'm finding that

there is a huge need for this, and

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I thought about this, about a year.

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And a half, two years ago thinking

that there's and a lot of it stems

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from my history and my life experience

of losing my daughter, Maddie.

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At 14 to suicide and for the first

probably six, seven years really, other

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than being able to write about what we

experienced, I really wasn't able to

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move forward with any great progression.

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And then I guess something

happens with grief.

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It.

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All of a sudden it transitions and

transforms from something that's

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really heavy and very terrible to

something that can be very purposeful.

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And for me, it happened around

probably year six or year seven.

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The problem was I had all these amazing

ideas that were coming out of my head.

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As grief tends to manifest

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: with

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Chris Coulter: very little sense of what

makes that could be actually compiled

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into something that actually made sense.

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So I did a lot of crash

and burning early on.

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Great ideas, lots of enthusiasm

really crappy on execution.

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And then I recognized,

okay, you know what?

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I think the next time I'm going to

do this, I'm gonna do it with someone

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who also can help walk me through.

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So almost not really an accountability

partner and I'm self-motivated.

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It's just someone to

bounce ideas off of and.

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Just really sometimes in our own

head, we think things are really

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wonderful, but when you throw it

against the wall and see if it sticks,

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it there's often a lot of flaws and a

lot of holes in it that you discover.

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But I think with the mentor it's been.

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It's something that's so needed

right now for our teens and for

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our young adults who are lacking

direction, who are lacking confidence.

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And the big thing and the huge

differentiator for us is how

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are kids going to acquire?

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The essential tools of emotional

intelligence and I've seen it over the

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course of the last few years just in some

programs that I've been associated with.

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Kids struggle to

understand their emotions.

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They, from a self-awareness and the self.

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Self-regulation perspective and it's

it is, I find it just incredible

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that it has been clearly demonstrated

that EQ is a more accurate

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predictor of one's success than iq.

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Yet schools just constantly

focus on the same curriculum.

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And the scary part is, even though for the

last 30 years we knew the importance of

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emotional intelligence, we the threshold

or the benchmark for intent, emotional

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intelligence hasn't raised in 30 years.

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So that tells us we're not doing enough.

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It really is.

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There's such a huge opportunity

and yet schools don't want

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to venture down that road.

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So we saw this as an opportunity.

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If we're gonna wait for government,

we're gonna wait for the school boards.

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We're gonna be waiting forever.

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So it's gonna take some industrious

people with a lot of passion.

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And some lived experience who are

gonna make this something that's

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viable and address the mental health

crisis that we're in currently.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

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And I just have to put my 2

cents in there because I think

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it's so incredibly important.

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Our feelings, those emotions,

they dictate pretty much

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everything we do and all we are.

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There is no manual.

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No one ever tells you how

to work with those emotions.

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Nobody tells you as a child that

you know all of these emotions.

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They have a very short shelf life.

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If you just allow yourself to flow with

it, it will go away and you can move on.

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Nobody gives us that.

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It's not taught in school, and I think

it's one of the most important things.

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The second thing we're not

taught about our brain, and I'm

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sorry, but we're talking the most

important parts of a human being,

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we get absolutely no training on.

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No.

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So that's part of why I am so excited

about this because it addresses.

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Such a huge problem.

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Chris Coulter: I I agree wholeheartedly,

and I guess when it first was brought

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to my attention about the importance of,

I've always known emotional intelligence

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was important and an essential skill I.

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It was when I was running a

not-for-profit called How are you Feeling?

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Which we taught kids about

emotional intelligence.

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We taught kids about their emotions,

understanding, being able to process and

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understand them so they can deal with it.

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And it was amazing the response we

got when they said that literally

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the program changed their life.

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And when we took, we, they

asked us, listen, what?

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What can we do to advocate

on behalf of your program?

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And we said, just go

talk to your principals.

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Talk to your administrators.

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And they did.

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And they said, you know what?

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We we already have our own program,

but we, it's when a teenage, when

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eight teenage girls in unison tell

me that a program changed their life.

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You listen.

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And I'm sorry.

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I don't care how good your program is,

you better be willing to have a discussion

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and a conversation because, and clearly

when 95% of those students that went

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through our program said that the program

that was being introduced mental health

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programs that were being discussed in

their schools were completely ineffective.

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That kind of tells you something

anyway, that's where I became very

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in tuned with the importance of

understanding one's emotions and it's

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foundational for our kids to be able

to to be able to survive in life.

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Yeah.

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Music: Yeah.

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Chris Coulter: And for parents to be

able to have those same conversations

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is really important as well.

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But the challenge with.

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People go why can't parents

be mentors to their kids?

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And it's because there's too much of

an emotional component that impacts

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the dynamic of the relationship.

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It's also really difficult to say, okay,

a mentor is supposed to walk alongside.

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It's really difficult when you also

control the punitive aspect of the

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relationship, that's where, I think that's

where having a third party, independent

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individual who has had life experiences.

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And the nice part about it is we're

sharing the profiles of the mentors

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so we can match them appropriately.

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And so someone, let's say someone's

going through the LG Q2 T going through

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that whole mindset and understand,

trying to understand it, it must be a

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very, it must be a very crazy thing to

have to deal with in your, on your own.

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If we could match them with a mentor, a

leader who's gone through that process,

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or someone who, let's say they, they're

thinking about becoming a doctor,

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they wanna understand more about it.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

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Chris Coulter: So we wanna match

professional experience, but also

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lived experience with the mentors.

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So we can actually have some really

meaningful and personal discussions.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah,

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I think that's so important.

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And like you said about

the punitive it's also.

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The control.

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As a parent, you control the

resources, you control the fun stuff.

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You control, the not fun stuff,

not just the punitive you control

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everything, the food, the drink

the clothing, the temperature.

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That is such a,

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such an all encompassing piece.

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I think it would be really

hard for someone to.

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Care, a part of themselves away to

mentor their own child that you are

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not just invested in, but that you

love and you only want the best for.

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And a lot of times that's why parents

get so frustrated because they have

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lived experience and we often don't.

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We're too afraid to share

that with our children.

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Chris Coulter: I think there's

a couple of reasons for that.

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I think one.

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Parents go.

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Parents will often say, oh, you know what?

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We have a great relationship

with our teenager.

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They share everything with us,

and I call them out on it and I

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go, I don't think they call you.

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I don't think they share

everything with you.

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And that is and you want, you wanna have

a resource available to them when times

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get tough and you know what you want.

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Oh, there, there is my, okay.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Alright, so

we're talking about the mentor and what

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it offers in terms of mentors that sort

of what the differences are between the

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mentors and the parental units because

there is that divide for someone who

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is coming to offer their services.

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Their life, their life experience their

expertise, all of those things, no

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matter how close you get, that is still

at one removed from being the parent.

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Yeah, no.

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No matter how you think you can.

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Distance yourself or how you think

you, you have a wonderful relationship.

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You can have a wonderful

relationship, but I guarantee

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you, you don't know everything.

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Okay?

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Your child, there's no way.

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I don't care how good you are.

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That your child will tell you everything.

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Chris Coulter: And that's where we

like to say that, that mentoring

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is a bridge back to parenting.

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Yeah.

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Because you know what

we are, we're the proxy.

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And, but the important thing as well is to

establish trust with your mentee because

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they need safe space and they want to

they're gonna get into some mucky stuff.

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They're gonna wanna make

sure that that things are.

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Just remain confidential.

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And I think that's an important

part about the dynamic as well.

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We have a one, we have a contract

that we enter into with our mentees.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Okay.

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Chris Coulter: And essentially it means

that what we discuss remains between us.

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If they choose to share it with

their parents, that's at their,

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that's their liberty their

disposal to make that decision.

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However, I am not.

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I'm not able to go and talk to the

parent about the only caveat is if I

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feel that there's a safety concern,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: right?

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Chris Coulter: But we, the

other part about ensuring a

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mentor is not a therapist, it's

not a replacement for therapy.

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It can work nicely in tandem with therapy.

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But the one thing, what we wanna make

sure is that there's not any underlying.

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Mental health challenges, we all

have our mental health challenges.

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We just wanna make sure it's manageable.

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And so we have an evaluation tool that

we are, that we assess where someone is

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and we get almost to about 90% accuracy,

showing where they are relative to sound.

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Health and sound, sound mind.

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So it's been it's great to have that.

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We've been it's funny you

mentioned that teen speak.

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I've had therapists who have actually

said, I am using it and I'm referring

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my clients to it, and I'm going.

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Geez, I'm gonna have to start charging

an hourly rate for this thing.

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But you know what, it's been pretty

it's been it's, is it a little gimmicky?

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Sure it is, but it gives

really good information.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.

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So yeah let's open this up

and explain it for people.

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Okay.

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So first of all, you know I'm a geek.

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Okay.

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I have been.

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Playing with AI basically

since it came out.

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I was doing the machine, large machine

learning before that and this is my world.

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Chris Coulter: I know.

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And so I'm gonna say, I'm

just gonna jump in one second.

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Laine, when you told me, when you

sent me a note this morning saying,

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oh yeah, about teen speak, and

I'm going, I know in my head that.

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Elaine is a tech guru and I'm

going, oh no, what have I done?

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And it's funny, ai, especially some of

these open-ended platforms, they are

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living, breathing organisms, right?

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So you gotta shut them down and

someone could actually go into.

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Team speak.

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And before I went live and I said,

I better make sure someone can't

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ask for all this other information.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

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Chris Coulter: And so I was

ensure a, we need to put a very

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targeted disclaimer in there.

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Yeah.

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And the other aspect is we better

ensure that yeah this thing doesn't

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disclose our entire business plan to.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: The

interesting thing and people in

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my family have always said, oh

yeah, this is no doubt up my alley.

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'cause I talk like a computer and

they don't necessarily understand me.

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But it seems that chat GPT does, and as

I got into team speak, I could see that

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in setting it up, in programming it,

it does have very specific parameters.

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Which is super important and for

anyone that's concerned, okay, chat,

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GPT and people saying that AI is gonna

take over and what have you, it can

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only give you back the data it's been

given and there has to be a human that

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gave that data in the first place.

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Okay?

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That's how it is in order to.

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Expand on what it's offering and come

back with really valuable information.

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There's a lot that has to go into those

algorithms to be able to, come back with

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beneficial information, and I really

commend you for that because I did a test.

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Now I have grandchildren

of very differing ages.

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From over 30 to eight and both

boys and girls, and they are all

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different types of human beings.

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We have some that, that are

like me, that have a DHD.

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We have some that are.

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Like my aunt and those that went

before me and are absolutely

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brilliant frighteningly.

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And we just have to stop and realize

that every human you deal with,

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everybody in your family, everybody

around you are all different.

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Every single one is different.

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And starting with your chat,

GPT, I'm used to calling mine.

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His name is Merlin, and I had,

I have built him over a very

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long time and he deals with.

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My two businesses and my separate

personality for the podcast and

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understands what those parameters is.

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So I've been writing long involved

prompts for a very long time.

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I went into team speak and tried to figure

out, what was there and I said, I'm going

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to start with one particular grandchild.

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Here are the parameters.

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Here is the age.

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Here is the things that he is

into, and here are my challenges

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being as I am very far away.

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I do not get to see him as much as I want.

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We do have a good relationship.

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All the grandchildren have had the

benefit of me being a video geek.

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Because from the moment they were

born, I was, my face was in their lives

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all the time, and that all of those

pieces together, I wanted to write

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a letter to my 16-year-old grandson

so that he just knows I'm there.

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And yeah, I'm not into everything he does.

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And I do not have the hand-eye

coordination to follow him into

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games, but that I love him anyway,

and I am more than happy to sit and

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listen to whatever he wants to tell me

whenever, but I just need him to know.

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The bottom line is this, I love

you to the depth and breadth.

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My soul is capable.

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And nothing can change that ever.

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And I sent this message

that the bot gave me back.

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I tweaked, maybe tweaked about four or

five words, not a lot because I wanted

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to see, and I was fully prepared to

tell him that this is what I used and

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this is why, and I sent it to him.

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And I got back the first sentence

with a crying emoji that said, glam,

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you could make a grown man cry.

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I.

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And I was just blown away.

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And I explained to him what I'd done

because I, I didn't wanna overstep.

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And sometimes just as family, we

push too much or we say too much.

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And he said no.

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And the weirdest thing, it

sounds so much like you oh, okay.

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So we continue to have a chat.

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I haven't used King speak for him again.

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But I put together another one for

another grandchild who I do get to see

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more often who has some challenges.

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One of the biggest being the fact

that he and his brother absolutely

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hate the fact that Glen, as his

father says, has a trucker's mouth.

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And I swear way too much.

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I'm constantly being corrected since

he was little and I try, but as I have

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said to him recently, I am 69 years old.

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It's been a long time coming.

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I cannot change all of me all at once.

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I got a letter from Teen Speak

that not only spoke to that, but

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used a little joke, and in it said.

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I love the heck out of you.

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And in brackets, see, I'm actually trying.

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Those little nuances are those are

the things that are really important

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when you're using an algorithm.

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To craft something because it

has to be able to understand the

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nuances in what you say and they

can when you are very specific.

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And I love the fact that you crafted it to

such a depth that it can understand that.

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One thing I will say, and people

may find this bizarre, I never

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ask for help from chat GPT without

saying please and thank you.

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Chris Coulter: That's a

Canadian thing though, Elaine.

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I do the same thing.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, and it's

not I'm a Brit, so you know that's a Scots

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thing, but we are training them as we go.

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If we want there to be civility

and common courtesy in our world,

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especially now, then we need to

be showing that example each and

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every place where we make our mark.

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And I say that in business, I say

that here, I say it everywhere.

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They are learning from us.

355

:

It be the best of us.

356

:

I.

357

:

Chris Coulter: I'm I'm tickled that

it worked out according to plan.

358

:

So I and you know what?

359

:

It was my first little

foray into building gp.

360

:

Yeah, gps.

361

:

And I'm a bit obsessed

now, I gotta tell you.

362

:

It is like some of the stuff

that I'm able to do it's crazy.

363

:

And yeah, it, I just, you

know what, anyone who's not

364

:

leveraging AI to any extent,

365

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: they

366

:

Chris Coulter: are missing,

they're missing it.

367

:

How much it can truly enrich your life.

368

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And

that is such a good point.

369

:

And I know that people are

afraid and people are afraid

370

:

of taking on new things always.

371

:

Okay.

372

:

Video.

373

:

Until the pandemic, I was

shouting into the wilderness.

374

:

I'd been doing it for 10 years.

375

:

Okay.

376

:

And along came the pandemic.

377

:

And for some of us it was like, oh cool.

378

:

Welcome to my world.

379

:

Yeah, come on down.

380

:

The water's just fine.

381

:

And it allowed us who were already

there and Eric who had Zoom.

382

:

To do really well in life because

it allowed us to remain connected.

383

:

'cause connection is so

critically important.

384

:

Yeah.

385

:

And giving us that piece for

anybody who's afraid of ai,

386

:

it will give you back what you

give it and what you ask for.

387

:

So just if you are dealing with

a 5-year-old and a 15-year-old,

388

:

what you're going to ask them

for will be worded differently.

389

:

Because you are looking for different

things when you start with ai.

390

:

Start as the 5-year-old because you

have to train it to understand what

391

:

it is that you are looking for.

392

:

And it is really quite amazing how far

you can go in training your AI to use your

393

:

tone of voice, to use your sense of humor.

394

:

To be inquisitive in the ways that you'd

be inquisitive and to steer clear of the

395

:

things that are not of interest to you.

396

:

And it does make a great deal of sense

because I feel saddened for millennials

397

:

and God help us boomers that are so afraid

that they will not embrace this because

398

:

it's not that AI will take your job, it's

the person who uses AI will take your job.

399

:

Chris Coulter: Yeah.

400

:

Oh, precisely.

401

:

I've I've emphasized that to both of

my boys because I said, if you are not

402

:

focusing on AI, or at least looking at it

as a consideration, you're doing yourself

403

:

a huge disservice and you are selling

yourself short because it's only going

404

:

to go more and more in that direction.

405

:

So I, I think, and everyone can see that

or hopefully most people can see that it's

406

:

not going to be it's not a one and done.

407

:

Oh, next year we're gonna be back.

408

:

We're turning back the clocks.

409

:

No it's here.

410

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

It's here to stay.

411

:

And not only that, but it was only

in:

412

:

Boolean search to semantic search.

413

:

Semantic meant.

414

:

It took him the context of everything

that was being said, which is why

415

:

you can now say to your phone, what's

the best Italian restaurant near me?

416

:

And you will get some very

good answers that kind of.

417

:

Of questioning is now Dere gore.

418

:

Everybody understands that you wanna

go somewhere you just ask your phone.

419

:

That's all part and parcel of this.

420

:

But in 2012 when it started, they gave

an algorithm a task, and the task was

421

:

to find everything it could out there.

422

:

And you have to understand

the algorithms back then.

423

:

Could not understand images.

424

:

They had no format for

understanding images.

425

:

They wanted it to compose, create

a cat from whatever information it

426

:

could glean, and all kinds of, machine

learning and everything was all put

427

:

in and I'd have to look for it, but.

428

:

A photograph a drawing of a cat

was produced by the algorithm

429

:

and it is absolutely a cat.

430

:

Okay?

431

:

There is no mistaking,

it is not a cartoon.

432

:

It is not something approximating.

433

:

It is a cat down to the whiskers

and the nose and all of that.

434

:

And back then.

435

:

I was already so excited

for where we could go.

436

:

I see part of this helping

also with the mentor.

437

:

Because sometimes if someone's

feeling alone, we will get to a place

438

:

where they can talk to their ai.

439

:

Maybe just bounce off a few ideas.

440

:

To take the sting out of that loneliness.

441

:

Chris Coulter: And I think the intent,

originally when I was thinking about

442

:

what can we do with 10 teens speak?

443

:

It's, it was really about, it's how do

you it's really about conflict resolution.

444

:

It, because we've all seen it with as

parents and our kids, how things escalate.

445

:

Not enough attention is paid to.

446

:

How do you deescalate a situation and

everything just keeps going up and up and

447

:

the anger and the intensity, it follows

suit, but it, it's so invaluable for the

448

:

sake of our relationships moving forward.

449

:

We need to be kind in how we approach

450

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: people.

451

:

Yeah.

452

:

Chris Coulter: So that was

the original intent behind it.

453

:

It was like, okay, how can a parent

when, in a conflict with their child,

454

:

not escalate the conversation, but

in, in fact, hope to resolve it?

455

:

Move it towards a positive conclusion

as opposed to one that involves a two or

456

:

three, three day hiatus from one another.

457

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

458

:

Yeah.

459

:

Chris Coulter: Till things cool off.

460

:

It's, it's pretty amazing.

461

:

I don't think it's, it is not a response,

it's not a adequate replacement for

462

:

a therapist, although there are some

pretty good therapy AI tools out there.

463

:

Yeah.

464

:

But it's very.

465

:

It is, it's a little gimmicky.

466

:

Yeah.

467

:

And not to say that teens speak

isn't gimmicky either, but I think if

468

:

people recognize a different way of

communicating with their child, and

469

:

if they don't know that, maybe it's

like learning another language, right?

470

:

Yeah.

471

:

It's like listening to those.

472

:

What was the,

473

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: babble and

474

:

Chris Coulter: Those lingo,

those language type of apps.

475

:

This is a totally, this is a different

language for a lot of people, and

476

:

I'm not sure if you saw Yes, you did.

477

:

You saw the the post that I did

this morning about how some, I'll

478

:

call him a little less, evolved.

479

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yes.

480

:

Yes.

481

:

Yeah.

482

:

Chris Coulter: Yeah.

483

:

The fear of teaching his son

emotional intelligence thought

484

:

it was going to impact the, yeah,

485

:

Music: yeah.

486

:

Chris Coulter: His masculinity

or his perceived masculinity.

487

:

I was like, are you kidding me?

488

:

This is about making someone into an

incredible leader, not about showing

489

:

that he's the wimp in the school yard.

490

:

It's funny how people perceive

certain things, right?

491

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

492

:

And what that showed me when I read

that this morning, it was like the

493

:

fear was coming out of his words.

494

:

Because he only knows one way.

495

:

You do this, okay?

496

:

As a man, you suck it up.

497

:

You don't have emotion, you don't

show anything, blah, blah, blah.

498

:

He only knows that way.

499

:

And if I let my son off that

path, even an inch, oh my god.

500

:

Yes.

501

:

God knows what he's going

to turn into and yeah.

502

:

I'm not gonna repeat

503

:

Chris Coulter: what he said and why.

504

:

And why is that exactly.

505

:

It's because that's the

way they were raised.

506

:

And they, if they don't have

any new tools, guess what?

507

:

They're gonna default to the

way that they were brought up.

508

:

And I'm gonna just say that

I love my parents dearly, but

509

:

there's a lot of things they

could have done a lot differently.

510

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.

511

:

Are you kidding me?

512

:

Yeah.

513

:

Okay.

514

:

You know how much I love my father

and I love my mother, but there was,

515

:

they came from a different time.

516

:

Okay.

517

:

My, my parents weren't in

Canada or the US during the war.

518

:

My mother was five years old when they

had to go to school with gas masks.

519

:

When they were taken out of their class

and sent to distant family in the country

520

:

because their homes were being bombed,

and they spent a month with this family,

521

:

the Aunt Fannie, who had, I don't know,

six or eight kids of her own, and my

522

:

mom and her siblings got the leavings,

like the bread and gravy at the end

523

:

because she had to feed her family.

524

:

And my mother, like to the day she died,

wouldn't need gravy to save her life.

525

:

Okay.

526

:

It was just like, Nope,

I'm not touching that.

527

:

And they had gone through those things.

528

:

So for them what was

hard was very different.

529

:

From someone going in and, oh, there's

no toilet paper on the shelves, or

530

:

it's too expensive, or whatever.

531

:

They didn't have any, they had

food stamps like for a month.

532

:

They got half a cup of sugar

for a family and it was not a.

533

:

It was not a safe time for

any of them, for the children.

534

:

I can't even imagine having to have

a gas mask at age five and carting

535

:

it with me, like the sheer terror and

the raid sirens going off at night.

536

:

That had to be absolutely terrifying.

537

:

It's a different place to come from.

538

:

So some of their hard edges and

some of their, oh, just suck it

539

:

up, came from the fact that they

had to, when they were very young.

540

:

And it wasn't that they didn't love

us, it was simply that they had

541

:

never been presented with a change

they'd never been presented with.

542

:

Okay.

543

:

You could approach this

in a different way.

544

:

It was only in the 1990s when

dealing with the grandkids that

545

:

my parents came to realize that.

546

:

Yes.

547

:

Some of the ways they dealt with

us that just was not gonna fly.

548

:

And the kids, they had their own thoughts

and their own ways of dealing with things.

549

:

And I know at one point my daughter,

who's the eldest of the five

550

:

grandkids at five, sorry, the three

grandkids and the five grandchildren.

551

:

At one point she was having a

discussion with my mom and dad.

552

:

She said just because they're

older, I don't have to respect them.

553

:

They have to earn my respect.

554

:

You could have just laid my

father out right then and there.

555

:

That was, that concept was so

foreign to him, and it took him a

556

:

really long time to digest that.

557

:

I will give him credit.

558

:

He got there sooner than I did.

559

:

But yeah, all of those things, every

generation, we have our own baggage

560

:

that we bring with us, and as much

as we wanna do what's best for our

561

:

children, having something like teen

speak to distill what we think we're

562

:

saying and make it much more palatable.

563

:

For this next generation.

564

:

I think it's really important.

565

:

Chris Coulter: I'd love to get your

perspective as far as like where

566

:

some ideas, we don't, I'm not gonna

put you on the spot here, but some

567

:

ideas as to where we could take it.

568

:

Yeah.

569

:

Because I think there's,

the sky's the limit really.

570

:

And I've already got a.

571

:

A couple of other things that

are percolating, which are really

572

:

cool, but without ai, there's no

way in hell that it would happen.

573

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

574

:

And it for me, the first thought

when I was playing with it was

575

:

giving the kids the opportunity

576

:

to change what they wanna say to us

into a way we can understand right.

577

:

Not saying we are right.

578

:

Simply saying, this is

what you expect from me.

579

:

This is what I'm saying

and that's what it means.

580

:

Chris Coulter: So the next iteration of

Teen Speak is we're gonna we're gonna

581

:

come out with live 45, 1 minute videos

of kids who are actually speaking.

582

:

About talking to their

parents about what this means.

583

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

584

:

Chris Coulter: So it's taking teen

speak and actually putting a live

585

:

voice and the live body behind it.

586

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Oh, I think that's wonderful.

587

:

I really do.

588

:

I've put up the URL for the mentor l.

589

:

There's a lot there to look at.

590

:

There's a lot of resources, not

just keen speak, but there's

591

:

a lot of information as well.

592

:

And the concept of other generations being

mentors I think is absolutely brilliant.

593

:

For all these years we've had

big brothers and big sisters.

594

:

That was a different level.

595

:

I.

596

:

It started through play and

sport and what have you.

597

:

This is a little more

cerebral, if you will.

598

:

Because it is all about everyone's mental

health and understanding that everyone's

599

:

mental health comes into play whenever

we are talking with something that may

600

:

be fraught with a little bit of emotion.

601

:

I think is super important and I can

see teams speak becoming a generational

602

:

tool back and forth, not just for teens,

because you know it, it's different

603

:

in every generation, and if you.

604

:

For people who don't understand the

colloquialisms and the slang that goes

605

:

along with each new generation, right?

606

:

It could make life a little simpler.

607

:

Chris Coulter: I think I, I can

just see a conversation between

608

:

it, the, a conversation between

a parent and child escalating and

609

:

they're both, hold on one second.

610

:

I'm just gonna refer to,

611

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

just gimme a minute here.

612

:

Chris Coulter: Yeah.

613

:

Hey, you know what that's all we can hope.

614

:

Talk about self-regulation, right?

615

:

Yeah.

616

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: The team speak

could be the safe person in the room.

617

:

Yeah.

618

:

But on, on both sides.

619

:

That way everybody feels

that they have an advocate.

620

:

Yeah.

621

:

And the beauty of chat, GPT.

622

:

Is there is minimal bias.

623

:

Now, I say minimal because for the most

part, when they started programming

624

:

them and training them, you had a

whole bunch of male programmers.

625

:

So year, a few years back when you

tried to get a, an image, a group

626

:

image, say of a ship of pirates.

627

:

There were no women.

628

:

You asked for women and they had

beards because it had only, it can

629

:

only give you back what it has.

630

:

And it was given everything

from a male perspective.

631

:

I chuckle because I can see the

limitations it has and the why and for me.

632

:

That is a safety net for us as humans.

633

:

And I don't see AI as taking over.

634

:

I can see people abdicating their

rights, but we see that now.

635

:

Yeah.

636

:

Chris Coulter: I, it's exciting.

637

:

It's my first foray into.

638

:

IA or AI driven.

639

:

And and like I said, it's just the,

it's the tip of the iceberg right

640

:

now as far as where things going and

just the ideas that are percolating.

641

:

There's some really cool stuff.

642

:

Oh yeah.

643

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

644

:

Chris Coulter: So it will evolve

over time as the website will, and

645

:

yeah, it's it's fun times though.

646

:

And I know Elana and I are

having a lot of fun doing it.

647

:

And we haven't really even started,

we haven't really even got off the

648

:

ground other than having a ton of

people saying that they want their

649

:

kids to be involved with it or saying

that they'd like to be a mentor.

650

:

Like that kind of blew me away.

651

:

I was like, we knew there was

a need, but to have that kind

652

:

of much, that much universal.

653

:

Embracing of the concept has

been, and I'm not just talking

654

:

within kind of in around Toronto.

655

:

I'm talking No, I'm talking

across like around the world.

656

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

657

:

Chris Coulter: And that's the

beauty of having a voice that's

658

:

heard and recognized on LinkedIn.

659

:

Your reach is pretty extensive.

660

:

Yeah.

661

:

So I just before I got on

the the phone with you.

662

:

There was a therapist who said, I

wish teens speak with, or I wish

663

:

mentor well was here in the uk and

I said, give it a couple of months.

664

:

Yes.

665

:

Yeah.

666

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

667

:

Chris Coulter: We're, that's the plan.

668

:

And we want to, initially, we

want grow it from Toronto outward.

669

:

We wanna do it in a methodical and.

670

:

We wanna make sure we

iron out all the bugs.

671

:

Yeah.

672

:

Because you only get one chance to make

a first impression, as the saying says.

673

:

That's true.

674

:

So we wanna make sure

that it is it, it works.

675

:

And we wanna scale when

we work out those bugs.

676

:

As tempting as it is to say, yes,

come, let's do it Now, you know what?

677

:

We're, we'd be setting

ourselves up for failure.

678

:

Yeah.

679

:

And not to mention it would

fall largely on Alana and I for

680

:

now, because we still are in the

midst of vetting our mentors too.

681

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: One

thing I wanna say for anybody

682

:

who's considering being a mentor.

683

:

And something this is, I don't know,

maybe you guys had this in mind when

684

:

you started, but when I read everything

on the website, when I started,

685

:

I thought, oh, this is wonderful.

686

:

This is like the donor registry

you can offer to donate an organ to

687

:

someone else that you don't know.

688

:

That has nothing to do with you

because someone in your family.

689

:

Needs an organ?

690

:

If your child needs a mentor, then

how about you mentor for someone else?

691

:

And you are going to learn

perhaps better ways to handle

692

:

yourself with your children.

693

:

And they are gonna learn better

ways to handle themselves with

694

:

other adults because that's

usually what the mentors are.

695

:

And I think that network

would keep growing and be

696

:

beneficial to so many people.

697

:

And looking at it in terms of,

all communities coming together.

698

:

It's not just about, my child needs help.

699

:

I'm gonna go for help for my child.

700

:

It's.

701

:

My child needs help.

702

:

How can I offer something

from me to another child?

703

:

Chris Coulter: And you bring a, an

important point up, Elaine, as far as I

704

:

think you were where we are right now.

705

:

And first of all, let me qualify.

706

:

It's, it is a four,

it's a four fee service.

707

:

Our mentors are not volunteers.

708

:

They're paid.

709

:

The intent though, because

there's a cost associated with it.

710

:

I don't wanna make this a two tier.

711

:

I don't want to make it a

have and have not system.

712

:

Yeah.

713

:

The, one of the appeal is

just is equal access for all.

714

:

So part of this, and this is the

Maddy, this is the Maddy Co-pilot,

715

:

always sitting there tweaking my brain.

716

:

We want to create a foundation.

717

:

That.

718

:

So mentors will, they have

an op, they have an option.

719

:

And a lot of, I have to understand

too, a lot of these mentors,

720

:

they may be grandparents.

721

:

They may be someone who sold a

business and is in retirement.

722

:

So the financial.

723

:

The financial remuneration

isn't everything to them.

724

:

For them it's about giving

back or helping someone.

725

:

So what they have the ability to

do is to donate their mentoring

726

:

fee to the foundation and they get

a charitable tax receipt for it.

727

:

But the beauty of it is then someone,

it, someone else has the ability who

728

:

wouldn't otherwise be able to afford it.

729

:

To the Mentor program, and that's

something I'm really proud of

730

:

because it, the accessibility piece

is really important and I know it

731

:

would be a really important element

if Maddie if Maddie was involved.

732

:

So that's that's a phase two.

733

:

I've already had some conversations

with people and it, it is very viable

734

:

and it is a very important piece

that we're still in the midst of

735

:

figuring out, but it is going to be

something that is going to be figured

736

:

out and be an important part of it.

737

:

Yeah.

738

:

So thank you for putting the

cart a little bit before this.

739

:

A

740

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: little, yeah.

741

:

That,

742

:

Chris Coulter: that's the, in,

that's the intention anyway.

743

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

744

:

Oh, that's wonderful.

745

:

That absolutely wonderful.

746

:

So I'm wholeheartedly excited about all

that you're doing and more than happy

747

:

to take a look at whatever you want me.

748

:

Awesome.

749

:

This is definitely my wheelhouse

and something that makes me so

750

:

happy to be able to offer help.

751

:

Chris Coulter: In this way I think I

think you would be an awesome mentor.

752

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh, thank you.

753

:

Chris Coulter: And we can have

a discussion for another day

754

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: that sounds.

755

:

As you can see, the URL is below.

756

:

We will have more information below,

along with the transcript of today's show.

757

:

I, I am just, yeah, over

the moon about this.

758

:

I got even more than I thought

I would from team speak and

759

:

can see that it will be.

760

:

Of great use to people that are not

even interested in AM 'cause It is.

761

:

It is very simple and the way it's

laid out, it even asks good questions.

762

:

So that's I think that's very important.

763

:

I thank you so much, Chris for coming

back today and talking with me.

764

:

Always a pleasure, Elaine.

765

:

Thank you.

766

:

I wish you and Alana so much goodness

in going forward and we'll have

767

:

to have the pair of you come back.

768

:

Chris Coulter: All right.

769

:

Looking forward to speaking

again with you soon.

770

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Excellent.

771

:

Excellent.

772

:

Off you go and have a wonderful

rest of your afternoon.

773

:

For once here, it is not raining.

774

:

When we have full sunshine,

I'm absolutely thrilled.

775

:

Chris Coulter: Yeah.

776

:

And I'm not even gonna mention the

senators against the Leafs thing.

777

:

Okay.

778

:

Music: Yeah.

779

:

Chris Coulter: Hey we've been

in this position before when

780

:

we've managed to screw it up.

781

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

782

:

And the funny thing is

it's very hard for people.

783

:

My family because I grew

up in Toronto, right?

784

:

So I'm a little torn,

understandably so go everybody

785

:

that, that's really,

that really doesn't work.

786

:

Again, thank you so much for joining

me and thank our audience and.

787

:

Until next time, make the

very most of your today, every

788

:

day, and we'll see you again.

789

:

Voiceover: Thank you for being

here for another inspiring episode

790

:

of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

791

:

We appreciate you tuning in.

792

:

Please subscribe and download on your

favorite service and check out SFS

793

:

YouTube channel or Facebook community.

794

:

If you have the chance to leave

a five star rating or review,

795

:

it'd be greatly appreciated.

796

:

Please refer this to a friend you

know who may benefit from the hope

797

:

and inspiration from our guests.

798

:

Suicide Zen Forgiveness was brought

to you by the following sponsors.

799

:

TROOL social media, the digital

integration specialists.

800

:

Let them get you rocking page

one in the search results.

801

:

Canada's keynote, humorous, Judy Croon,

motivational speaker, comedian, author,

802

:

and standup coach at Second City.

803

:

Judy has been involved for over

a decade in the City Street

804

:

Outreach program in Toronto,

805

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

the ultimate podcasting pack.

806

:

This is great for you if you're just

starting your podcast or if you've

807

:

been running it for a while, it's

filled with tools, templates, and

808

:

trainings for starting, growing,

and monetizing your podcast.

809

:

Get access to time saving systems and

strategies for accelerating your process.

810

:

At each step, find new connections

and collaborations in the

811

:

uplifting podcasting community.

812

:

I look forward to seeing you there.

813

:

Voiceover: Do you have a story to share?

814

:

Do you know someone you

think would be a great guest?

815

:

Please go to SZF four two.com

816

:

and for our American listeners,

that's SZF four two.com.

817

:

Thank you for listening and

we hope to see you again.

Listen for free

Show artwork for Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All

About the Podcast

Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Shattering Stigma Igniting Hope
Adding empathy and offering hope to end the silence, stigma, and shame. ~Elaine Lindsay©2021

Come along on the transformative journey of ’Suicide Zen Forgiveness,’ where host Elaine Lindsay, a suicide loss survivor and advocate, invites listeners to break the silence about mental health struggles. Elaine wants to remove the shame felt by all who are touched by suicide loss, ideation and mental health. With over 50 years of personal experience, Elaine offers candid conversations, heartfelt stories, and practical insights aimed at ending the stigma and offering hope. Each episode explores themes of resilience, gratitude, and growth, encouraging listeners to navigate life’s challenges with bravery and compassion. Tune in for a blend of wisdom, authenticity, and unwavering support on a group journey of healing, hope, and understanding.

About your host

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Elaine Lindsay