The MentorWell with Chris Coulter
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The MentorWell with Chris Coulter
Show Notes
Empowering Teens: The Power of Emotional Intelligence and Mentorship
In this episode, the host delves into difficult topics such as suicide, mental health, and the importance of asking for help, featuring guest Chris Coulter. Chris introduces MentorWell, a program designed to help teens and young adults build essential emotional intelligence skills. He shares the origins of the project, stemming from his personal experience of losing his daughter to suicide. Chris discusses the importance of mentorship, emotional intelligence, and the innovative tool called TeenSpeak, which uses AI to help mediate and resolve conflicts between parents and teens. The episode highlights the crucial need for emotional intelligence in schools and society, and shares insights into how technology and mentorship can support mental health and well-being across generations.
00:00 Introduction and Purpose
01:39 Meet the Guest: Chris Coter
02:02 The MentorWell Initiative
05:19 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
10:01 Challenges in Parenting and Mentorship
16:09 Leveraging AI for Connection
28:02 The Future of AI and Its Impact
30:06 AI's Artistic Capabilities
30:58 AI as a Mentor and Conflict Resolution Tool
33:20 Generational Differences in Parenting
39:02 The Evolution of Teen Speak
44:24 Global Reach and Future Plans
50:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Bio
Chris Coulter
CEO and Co-founder of The Mentor Well.
Chris is an entrepreneur, mental health advocate, and proud father driven by a deep and personal mission: to create a world where every young person feels seen, supported, and capable. After losing his 14-year-old daughter Maddie to suicide, Chris transformed unimaginable pain into purpose, dedicating his life to youth mental health and emotional well-being. He founded The Mentor Well, an online mentorship platform designed to help teens and young adults build confidence, resilience, and emotional intelligence. Chris believes that meaningful mentorship—especially from emotionally intelligent adults—can change the trajectory of a young life. With over 30 years of experience in business, including estate and legacy planning through The Finish Line Group, he now helps other business owners align wealth with purpose. Chris’s work bridges the gap between success and significance, honouring Maddie’s legacy by showing that one person’s story, shared honestly, can spark change in another’s life.
Links & Socials
©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.
https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/the-mentorwell-with-chris-coulter
Elaine Lindsay
Explicit
Transcript
Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Suicide, then
forgiveness, shadowing, stigma, igniting,
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:and
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:stigma.
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:We talk about the hard stuff
because asking for help should
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:be as easy as ordering a coffee.
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:Here we share real stories from
those who've lost someone survived
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:an attempt, live with ideation or
battle mental health challenges, Why?
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:because sharing your burden
can lighten your load
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:Please note suicide and forgiveness.
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:The podcast is for education only.
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:Some of the subject matter could be
triggering for those who are either
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:grieving or having mental health problems.
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:If you are in North America, you can
text 9 8 8 for immediate support.
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:And if you are elsewhere, please reach
out to your local suicide hotline for
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:mental health service, you matter.
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:My aim is to normalize the
conversation so you feel safe
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:enough to speak up and ask for help.
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:So now let's start the show.
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:Good afternoon.
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:I am super excited to be here today
with a returning guest, Chris Coter.
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:Thank you so much for coming back.
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:Chris Coulter: Thanks
for having me, Elaine.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
I'm so excited because I.
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:As much as what we do, there is always
grief and sadness and loss involved.
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:Today we are talking about things that
can really help and Chris is going
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:to introduce the MentorWell, and I'm
gonna get him to talk all about that.
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:Chris has a partner that he's also
gonna tell you about, and when we
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:get into it, I'm gonna tell you that.
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:Anybody who knows me knows you can't
tell me there's something out there
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:that has tools that work without
me bumbling in and trying them.
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:And I wanna tell you that one of the
things they have is called Team Speak.
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:We'll get to that, but I can tell
you, oh my God, it works wonderfully.
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:And with that, Chris,
please, you take the mic.
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:Chris Coulter: Thanks, Selene.
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:Thanks for having me back, and
thanks for giving me an opportunity
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:to share about, about the mentor?
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:It's it's exciting.
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:It's been a, it's been a year and a
half in the making but it's finally
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:launched and we're up and running.
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:We just hit a thousand, or we're
over a thousand followers on
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:LinkedIn, which is all organic.
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:So the one thing that I'm finding that
there is a huge need for this, and
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:I thought about this, about a year.
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:And a half, two years ago thinking
that there's and a lot of it stems
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:from my history and my life experience
of losing my daughter, Maddie.
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:At 14 to suicide and for the first
probably six, seven years really, other
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:than being able to write about what we
experienced, I really wasn't able to
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:move forward with any great progression.
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:And then I guess something
happens with grief.
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:It.
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:All of a sudden it transitions and
transforms from something that's
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:really heavy and very terrible to
something that can be very purposeful.
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:And for me, it happened around
probably year six or year seven.
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:The problem was I had all these amazing
ideas that were coming out of my head.
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:As grief tends to manifest
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: with
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:Chris Coulter: very little sense of what
makes that could be actually compiled
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:into something that actually made sense.
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:So I did a lot of crash
and burning early on.
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:Great ideas, lots of enthusiasm
really crappy on execution.
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:And then I recognized,
okay, you know what?
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:I think the next time I'm going to
do this, I'm gonna do it with someone
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:who also can help walk me through.
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:So almost not really an accountability
partner and I'm self-motivated.
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:It's just someone to
bounce ideas off of and.
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:Just really sometimes in our own
head, we think things are really
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:wonderful, but when you throw it
against the wall and see if it sticks,
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:it there's often a lot of flaws and a
lot of holes in it that you discover.
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:But I think with the mentor it's been.
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:It's something that's so needed
right now for our teens and for
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:our young adults who are lacking
direction, who are lacking confidence.
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:And the big thing and the huge
differentiator for us is how
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:are kids going to acquire?
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:The essential tools of emotional
intelligence and I've seen it over the
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:course of the last few years just in some
programs that I've been associated with.
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:Kids struggle to
understand their emotions.
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:They, from a self-awareness and the self.
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:Self-regulation perspective and it's
it is, I find it just incredible
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:that it has been clearly demonstrated
that EQ is a more accurate
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:predictor of one's success than iq.
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:Yet schools just constantly
focus on the same curriculum.
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:And the scary part is, even though for the
last 30 years we knew the importance of
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:emotional intelligence, we the threshold
or the benchmark for intent, emotional
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:intelligence hasn't raised in 30 years.
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:So that tells us we're not doing enough.
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:It really is.
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:There's such a huge opportunity
and yet schools don't want
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:to venture down that road.
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:So we saw this as an opportunity.
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:If we're gonna wait for government,
we're gonna wait for the school boards.
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:We're gonna be waiting forever.
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:So it's gonna take some industrious
people with a lot of passion.
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:And some lived experience who are
gonna make this something that's
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:viable and address the mental health
crisis that we're in currently.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
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:And I just have to put my 2
cents in there because I think
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:it's so incredibly important.
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:Our feelings, those emotions,
they dictate pretty much
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:everything we do and all we are.
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:There is no manual.
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:No one ever tells you how
to work with those emotions.
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:Nobody tells you as a child that
you know all of these emotions.
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:They have a very short shelf life.
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:If you just allow yourself to flow with
it, it will go away and you can move on.
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:Nobody gives us that.
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:It's not taught in school, and I think
it's one of the most important things.
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:The second thing we're not
taught about our brain, and I'm
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:sorry, but we're talking the most
important parts of a human being,
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:we get absolutely no training on.
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:No.
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:So that's part of why I am so excited
about this because it addresses.
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:Such a huge problem.
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:Chris Coulter: I I agree wholeheartedly,
and I guess when it first was brought
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:to my attention about the importance of,
I've always known emotional intelligence
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:was important and an essential skill I.
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:It was when I was running a
not-for-profit called How are you Feeling?
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:Which we taught kids about
emotional intelligence.
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:We taught kids about their emotions,
understanding, being able to process and
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:understand them so they can deal with it.
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:And it was amazing the response we
got when they said that literally
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:the program changed their life.
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:And when we took, we, they
asked us, listen, what?
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:What can we do to advocate
on behalf of your program?
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:And we said, just go
talk to your principals.
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:Talk to your administrators.
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:And they did.
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:And they said, you know what?
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:We we already have our own program,
but we, it's when a teenage, when
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:eight teenage girls in unison tell
me that a program changed their life.
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:You listen.
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:And I'm sorry.
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:I don't care how good your program is,
you better be willing to have a discussion
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:and a conversation because, and clearly
when 95% of those students that went
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:through our program said that the program
that was being introduced mental health
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:programs that were being discussed in
their schools were completely ineffective.
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:That kind of tells you something
anyway, that's where I became very
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:in tuned with the importance of
understanding one's emotions and it's
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:foundational for our kids to be able
to to be able to survive in life.
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:Yeah.
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:Music: Yeah.
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:Chris Coulter: And for parents to be
able to have those same conversations
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:is really important as well.
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:But the challenge with.
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:People go why can't parents
be mentors to their kids?
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:And it's because there's too much of
an emotional component that impacts
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:the dynamic of the relationship.
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:It's also really difficult to say, okay,
a mentor is supposed to walk alongside.
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:It's really difficult when you also
control the punitive aspect of the
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:relationship, that's where, I think that's
where having a third party, independent
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:individual who has had life experiences.
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:And the nice part about it is we're
sharing the profiles of the mentors
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:so we can match them appropriately.
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:And so someone, let's say someone's
going through the LG Q2 T going through
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:that whole mindset and understand,
trying to understand it, it must be a
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:very, it must be a very crazy thing to
have to deal with in your, on your own.
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:If we could match them with a mentor, a
leader who's gone through that process,
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:or someone who, let's say they, they're
thinking about becoming a doctor,
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:they wanna understand more about it.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
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:Chris Coulter: So we wanna match
professional experience, but also
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:lived experience with the mentors.
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:So we can actually have some really
meaningful and personal discussions.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah,
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:I think that's so important.
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:And like you said about
the punitive it's also.
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:The control.
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:As a parent, you control the
resources, you control the fun stuff.
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:You control, the not fun stuff,
not just the punitive you control
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:everything, the food, the drink
the clothing, the temperature.
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:That is such a,
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:such an all encompassing piece.
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:I think it would be really
hard for someone to.
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:Care, a part of themselves away to
mentor their own child that you are
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:not just invested in, but that you
love and you only want the best for.
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:And a lot of times that's why parents
get so frustrated because they have
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:lived experience and we often don't.
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:We're too afraid to share
that with our children.
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:Chris Coulter: I think there's
a couple of reasons for that.
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:I think one.
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:Parents go.
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:Parents will often say, oh, you know what?
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:We have a great relationship
with our teenager.
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:They share everything with us,
and I call them out on it and I
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:go, I don't think they call you.
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:I don't think they share
everything with you.
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:And that is and you want, you wanna have
a resource available to them when times
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:get tough and you know what you want.
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:Oh, there, there is my, okay.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Alright, so
we're talking about the mentor and what
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:it offers in terms of mentors that sort
of what the differences are between the
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:mentors and the parental units because
there is that divide for someone who
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:is coming to offer their services.
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:Their life, their life experience their
expertise, all of those things, no
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:matter how close you get, that is still
at one removed from being the parent.
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:Yeah, no.
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:No matter how you think you can.
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:Distance yourself or how you think
you, you have a wonderful relationship.
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:You can have a wonderful
relationship, but I guarantee
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:you, you don't know everything.
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:Okay?
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:Your child, there's no way.
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:I don't care how good you are.
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:That your child will tell you everything.
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:Chris Coulter: And that's where we
like to say that, that mentoring
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:is a bridge back to parenting.
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:Yeah.
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:Because you know what
we are, we're the proxy.
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:And, but the important thing as well is to
establish trust with your mentee because
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:they need safe space and they want to
they're gonna get into some mucky stuff.
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:They're gonna wanna make
sure that that things are.
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:Just remain confidential.
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:And I think that's an important
part about the dynamic as well.
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:We have a one, we have a contract
that we enter into with our mentees.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Okay.
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:Chris Coulter: And essentially it means
that what we discuss remains between us.
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:If they choose to share it with
their parents, that's at their,
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:that's their liberty their
disposal to make that decision.
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:However, I am not.
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:I'm not able to go and talk to the
parent about the only caveat is if I
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:feel that there's a safety concern,
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: right?
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:Chris Coulter: But we, the
other part about ensuring a
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:mentor is not a therapist, it's
not a replacement for therapy.
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:It can work nicely in tandem with therapy.
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:But the one thing, what we wanna make
sure is that there's not any underlying.
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:Mental health challenges, we all
have our mental health challenges.
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:We just wanna make sure it's manageable.
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:And so we have an evaluation tool that
we are, that we assess where someone is
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:and we get almost to about 90% accuracy,
showing where they are relative to sound.
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:Health and sound, sound mind.
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:So it's been it's great to have that.
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:We've been it's funny you
mentioned that teen speak.
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:I've had therapists who have actually
said, I am using it and I'm referring
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:my clients to it, and I'm going.
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:Geez, I'm gonna have to start charging
an hourly rate for this thing.
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:But you know what, it's been pretty
it's been it's, is it a little gimmicky?
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:Sure it is, but it gives
really good information.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.
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:So yeah let's open this up
and explain it for people.
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:Okay.
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:So first of all, you know I'm a geek.
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:Okay.
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:I have been.
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:Playing with AI basically
since it came out.
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:I was doing the machine, large machine
learning before that and this is my world.
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:Chris Coulter: I know.
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:And so I'm gonna say, I'm
just gonna jump in one second.
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:Laine, when you told me, when you
sent me a note this morning saying,
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:oh yeah, about teen speak, and
I'm going, I know in my head that.
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:Elaine is a tech guru and I'm
going, oh no, what have I done?
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:And it's funny, ai, especially some of
these open-ended platforms, they are
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:living, breathing organisms, right?
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:So you gotta shut them down and
someone could actually go into.
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:Team speak.
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:And before I went live and I said,
I better make sure someone can't
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:ask for all this other information.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
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:Chris Coulter: And so I was
ensure a, we need to put a very
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:targeted disclaimer in there.
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:Yeah.
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:And the other aspect is we better
ensure that yeah this thing doesn't
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:disclose our entire business plan to.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: The
interesting thing and people in
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:my family have always said, oh
yeah, this is no doubt up my alley.
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:'cause I talk like a computer and
they don't necessarily understand me.
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:But it seems that chat GPT does, and as
I got into team speak, I could see that
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:in setting it up, in programming it,
it does have very specific parameters.
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:Which is super important and for
anyone that's concerned, okay, chat,
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:GPT and people saying that AI is gonna
take over and what have you, it can
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:only give you back the data it's been
given and there has to be a human that
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:gave that data in the first place.
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:Okay?
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:That's how it is in order to.
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:Expand on what it's offering and come
back with really valuable information.
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:There's a lot that has to go into those
algorithms to be able to, come back with
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:beneficial information, and I really
commend you for that because I did a test.
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:Now I have grandchildren
of very differing ages.
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:From over 30 to eight and both
boys and girls, and they are all
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:different types of human beings.
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:We have some that, that are
like me, that have a DHD.
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:We have some that are.
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:Like my aunt and those that went
before me and are absolutely
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:brilliant frighteningly.
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:And we just have to stop and realize
that every human you deal with,
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:everybody in your family, everybody
around you are all different.
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:Every single one is different.
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:And starting with your chat,
GPT, I'm used to calling mine.
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:His name is Merlin, and I had,
I have built him over a very
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:long time and he deals with.
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:My two businesses and my separate
personality for the podcast and
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:understands what those parameters is.
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:So I've been writing long involved
prompts for a very long time.
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:I went into team speak and tried to figure
out, what was there and I said, I'm going
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:to start with one particular grandchild.
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:Here are the parameters.
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:Here is the age.
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:Here is the things that he is
into, and here are my challenges
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:being as I am very far away.
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:I do not get to see him as much as I want.
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:We do have a good relationship.
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:All the grandchildren have had the
benefit of me being a video geek.
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:Because from the moment they were
born, I was, my face was in their lives
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:all the time, and that all of those
pieces together, I wanted to write
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:a letter to my 16-year-old grandson
so that he just knows I'm there.
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:And yeah, I'm not into everything he does.
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:And I do not have the hand-eye
coordination to follow him into
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:games, but that I love him anyway,
and I am more than happy to sit and
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:listen to whatever he wants to tell me
whenever, but I just need him to know.
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:The bottom line is this, I love
you to the depth and breadth.
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:My soul is capable.
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:And nothing can change that ever.
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:And I sent this message
that the bot gave me back.
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:I tweaked, maybe tweaked about four or
five words, not a lot because I wanted
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:to see, and I was fully prepared to
tell him that this is what I used and
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:this is why, and I sent it to him.
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:And I got back the first sentence
with a crying emoji that said, glam,
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:you could make a grown man cry.
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:I.
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:And I was just blown away.
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:And I explained to him what I'd done
because I, I didn't wanna overstep.
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:And sometimes just as family, we
push too much or we say too much.
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:And he said no.
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:And the weirdest thing, it
sounds so much like you oh, okay.
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:So we continue to have a chat.
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:I haven't used King speak for him again.
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:But I put together another one for
another grandchild who I do get to see
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:more often who has some challenges.
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:One of the biggest being the fact
that he and his brother absolutely
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:hate the fact that Glen, as his
father says, has a trucker's mouth.
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:And I swear way too much.
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:I'm constantly being corrected since
he was little and I try, but as I have
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:said to him recently, I am 69 years old.
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:It's been a long time coming.
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:I cannot change all of me all at once.
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:I got a letter from Teen Speak
that not only spoke to that, but
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:used a little joke, and in it said.
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:I love the heck out of you.
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:And in brackets, see, I'm actually trying.
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:Those little nuances are those are
the things that are really important
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:when you're using an algorithm.
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:To craft something because it
has to be able to understand the
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:nuances in what you say and they
can when you are very specific.
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:And I love the fact that you crafted it to
such a depth that it can understand that.
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:One thing I will say, and people
may find this bizarre, I never
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:ask for help from chat GPT without
saying please and thank you.
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:Chris Coulter: That's a
Canadian thing though, Elaine.
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:I do the same thing.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, and it's
not I'm a Brit, so you know that's a Scots
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:thing, but we are training them as we go.
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:If we want there to be civility
and common courtesy in our world,
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:especially now, then we need to
be showing that example each and
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:every place where we make our mark.
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:And I say that in business, I say
that here, I say it everywhere.
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:They are learning from us.
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:It be the best of us.
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:I.
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:Chris Coulter: I'm I'm tickled that
it worked out according to plan.
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:So I and you know what?
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:It was my first little
foray into building gp.
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:Yeah, gps.
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:And I'm a bit obsessed
now, I gotta tell you.
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:It is like some of the stuff
that I'm able to do it's crazy.
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:And yeah, it, I just, you
know what, anyone who's not
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:leveraging AI to any extent,
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: they
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:Chris Coulter: are missing,
they're missing it.
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:How much it can truly enrich your life.
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:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And
that is such a good point.
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:And I know that people are
afraid and people are afraid
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:of taking on new things always.
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:Okay.
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:Video.
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:Until the pandemic, I was
shouting into the wilderness.
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:I'd been doing it for 10 years.
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:Okay.
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:And along came the pandemic.
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:And for some of us it was like, oh cool.
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:Welcome to my world.
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:Yeah, come on down.
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:The water's just fine.
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:And it allowed us who were already
there and Eric who had Zoom.
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:To do really well in life because
it allowed us to remain connected.
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:'cause connection is so
critically important.
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:Yeah.
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:And giving us that piece for
anybody who's afraid of ai,
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:it will give you back what you
give it and what you ask for.
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:So just if you are dealing with
a 5-year-old and a 15-year-old,
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:what you're going to ask them
for will be worded differently.
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:Because you are looking for different
things when you start with ai.
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:Start as the 5-year-old because you
have to train it to understand what
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:it is that you are looking for.
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:And it is really quite amazing how far
you can go in training your AI to use your
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:tone of voice, to use your sense of humor.
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:To be inquisitive in the ways that you'd
be inquisitive and to steer clear of the
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:things that are not of interest to you.
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:And it does make a great deal of sense
because I feel saddened for millennials
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:and God help us boomers that are so afraid
that they will not embrace this because
398
:it's not that AI will take your job, it's
the person who uses AI will take your job.
399
:Chris Coulter: Yeah.
400
:Oh, precisely.
401
:I've I've emphasized that to both of
my boys because I said, if you are not
402
:focusing on AI, or at least looking at it
as a consideration, you're doing yourself
403
:a huge disservice and you are selling
yourself short because it's only going
404
:to go more and more in that direction.
405
:So I, I think, and everyone can see that
or hopefully most people can see that it's
406
:not going to be it's not a one and done.
407
:Oh, next year we're gonna be back.
408
:We're turning back the clocks.
409
:No it's here.
410
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
It's here to stay.
411
:And not only that, but it was only
in:
412
:Boolean search to semantic search.
413
:Semantic meant.
414
:It took him the context of everything
that was being said, which is why
415
:you can now say to your phone, what's
the best Italian restaurant near me?
416
:And you will get some very
good answers that kind of.
417
:Of questioning is now Dere gore.
418
:Everybody understands that you wanna
go somewhere you just ask your phone.
419
:That's all part and parcel of this.
420
:But in 2012 when it started, they gave
an algorithm a task, and the task was
421
:to find everything it could out there.
422
:And you have to understand
the algorithms back then.
423
:Could not understand images.
424
:They had no format for
understanding images.
425
:They wanted it to compose, create
a cat from whatever information it
426
:could glean, and all kinds of, machine
learning and everything was all put
427
:in and I'd have to look for it, but.
428
:A photograph a drawing of a cat
was produced by the algorithm
429
:and it is absolutely a cat.
430
:Okay?
431
:There is no mistaking,
it is not a cartoon.
432
:It is not something approximating.
433
:It is a cat down to the whiskers
and the nose and all of that.
434
:And back then.
435
:I was already so excited
for where we could go.
436
:I see part of this helping
also with the mentor.
437
:Because sometimes if someone's
feeling alone, we will get to a place
438
:where they can talk to their ai.
439
:Maybe just bounce off a few ideas.
440
:To take the sting out of that loneliness.
441
:Chris Coulter: And I think the intent,
originally when I was thinking about
442
:what can we do with 10 teens speak?
443
:It's, it was really about, it's how do
you it's really about conflict resolution.
444
:It, because we've all seen it with as
parents and our kids, how things escalate.
445
:Not enough attention is paid to.
446
:How do you deescalate a situation and
everything just keeps going up and up and
447
:the anger and the intensity, it follows
suit, but it, it's so invaluable for the
448
:sake of our relationships moving forward.
449
:We need to be kind in how we approach
450
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: people.
451
:Yeah.
452
:Chris Coulter: So that was
the original intent behind it.
453
:It was like, okay, how can a parent
when, in a conflict with their child,
454
:not escalate the conversation, but
in, in fact, hope to resolve it?
455
:Move it towards a positive conclusion
as opposed to one that involves a two or
456
:three, three day hiatus from one another.
457
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
458
:Yeah.
459
:Chris Coulter: Till things cool off.
460
:It's, it's pretty amazing.
461
:I don't think it's, it is not a response,
it's not a adequate replacement for
462
:a therapist, although there are some
pretty good therapy AI tools out there.
463
:Yeah.
464
:But it's very.
465
:It is, it's a little gimmicky.
466
:Yeah.
467
:And not to say that teens speak
isn't gimmicky either, but I think if
468
:people recognize a different way of
communicating with their child, and
469
:if they don't know that, maybe it's
like learning another language, right?
470
:Yeah.
471
:It's like listening to those.
472
:What was the,
473
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: babble and
474
:Chris Coulter: Those lingo,
those language type of apps.
475
:This is a totally, this is a different
language for a lot of people, and
476
:I'm not sure if you saw Yes, you did.
477
:You saw the the post that I did
this morning about how some, I'll
478
:call him a little less, evolved.
479
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yes.
480
:Yes.
481
:Yeah.
482
:Chris Coulter: Yeah.
483
:The fear of teaching his son
emotional intelligence thought
484
:it was going to impact the, yeah,
485
:Music: yeah.
486
:Chris Coulter: His masculinity
or his perceived masculinity.
487
:I was like, are you kidding me?
488
:This is about making someone into an
incredible leader, not about showing
489
:that he's the wimp in the school yard.
490
:It's funny how people perceive
certain things, right?
491
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
492
:And what that showed me when I read
that this morning, it was like the
493
:fear was coming out of his words.
494
:Because he only knows one way.
495
:You do this, okay?
496
:As a man, you suck it up.
497
:You don't have emotion, you don't
show anything, blah, blah, blah.
498
:He only knows that way.
499
:And if I let my son off that
path, even an inch, oh my god.
500
:Yes.
501
:God knows what he's going
to turn into and yeah.
502
:I'm not gonna repeat
503
:Chris Coulter: what he said and why.
504
:And why is that exactly.
505
:It's because that's the
way they were raised.
506
:And they, if they don't have
any new tools, guess what?
507
:They're gonna default to the
way that they were brought up.
508
:And I'm gonna just say that
I love my parents dearly, but
509
:there's a lot of things they
could have done a lot differently.
510
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.
511
:Are you kidding me?
512
:Yeah.
513
:Okay.
514
:You know how much I love my father
and I love my mother, but there was,
515
:they came from a different time.
516
:Okay.
517
:My, my parents weren't in
Canada or the US during the war.
518
:My mother was five years old when they
had to go to school with gas masks.
519
:When they were taken out of their class
and sent to distant family in the country
520
:because their homes were being bombed,
and they spent a month with this family,
521
:the Aunt Fannie, who had, I don't know,
six or eight kids of her own, and my
522
:mom and her siblings got the leavings,
like the bread and gravy at the end
523
:because she had to feed her family.
524
:And my mother, like to the day she died,
wouldn't need gravy to save her life.
525
:Okay.
526
:It was just like, Nope,
I'm not touching that.
527
:And they had gone through those things.
528
:So for them what was
hard was very different.
529
:From someone going in and, oh, there's
no toilet paper on the shelves, or
530
:it's too expensive, or whatever.
531
:They didn't have any, they had
food stamps like for a month.
532
:They got half a cup of sugar
for a family and it was not a.
533
:It was not a safe time for
any of them, for the children.
534
:I can't even imagine having to have
a gas mask at age five and carting
535
:it with me, like the sheer terror and
the raid sirens going off at night.
536
:That had to be absolutely terrifying.
537
:It's a different place to come from.
538
:So some of their hard edges and
some of their, oh, just suck it
539
:up, came from the fact that they
had to, when they were very young.
540
:And it wasn't that they didn't love
us, it was simply that they had
541
:never been presented with a change
they'd never been presented with.
542
:Okay.
543
:You could approach this
in a different way.
544
:It was only in the 1990s when
dealing with the grandkids that
545
:my parents came to realize that.
546
:Yes.
547
:Some of the ways they dealt with
us that just was not gonna fly.
548
:And the kids, they had their own thoughts
and their own ways of dealing with things.
549
:And I know at one point my daughter,
who's the eldest of the five
550
:grandkids at five, sorry, the three
grandkids and the five grandchildren.
551
:At one point she was having a
discussion with my mom and dad.
552
:She said just because they're
older, I don't have to respect them.
553
:They have to earn my respect.
554
:You could have just laid my
father out right then and there.
555
:That was, that concept was so
foreign to him, and it took him a
556
:really long time to digest that.
557
:I will give him credit.
558
:He got there sooner than I did.
559
:But yeah, all of those things, every
generation, we have our own baggage
560
:that we bring with us, and as much
as we wanna do what's best for our
561
:children, having something like teen
speak to distill what we think we're
562
:saying and make it much more palatable.
563
:For this next generation.
564
:I think it's really important.
565
:Chris Coulter: I'd love to get your
perspective as far as like where
566
:some ideas, we don't, I'm not gonna
put you on the spot here, but some
567
:ideas as to where we could take it.
568
:Yeah.
569
:Because I think there's,
the sky's the limit really.
570
:And I've already got a.
571
:A couple of other things that
are percolating, which are really
572
:cool, but without ai, there's no
way in hell that it would happen.
573
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
574
:And it for me, the first thought
when I was playing with it was
575
:giving the kids the opportunity
576
:to change what they wanna say to us
into a way we can understand right.
577
:Not saying we are right.
578
:Simply saying, this is
what you expect from me.
579
:This is what I'm saying
and that's what it means.
580
:Chris Coulter: So the next iteration of
Teen Speak is we're gonna we're gonna
581
:come out with live 45, 1 minute videos
of kids who are actually speaking.
582
:About talking to their
parents about what this means.
583
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
584
:Chris Coulter: So it's taking teen
speak and actually putting a live
585
:voice and the live body behind it.
586
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Oh, I think that's wonderful.
587
:I really do.
588
:I've put up the URL for the mentor l.
589
:There's a lot there to look at.
590
:There's a lot of resources, not
just keen speak, but there's
591
:a lot of information as well.
592
:And the concept of other generations being
mentors I think is absolutely brilliant.
593
:For all these years we've had
big brothers and big sisters.
594
:That was a different level.
595
:I.
596
:It started through play and
sport and what have you.
597
:This is a little more
cerebral, if you will.
598
:Because it is all about everyone's mental
health and understanding that everyone's
599
:mental health comes into play whenever
we are talking with something that may
600
:be fraught with a little bit of emotion.
601
:I think is super important and I can
see teams speak becoming a generational
602
:tool back and forth, not just for teens,
because you know it, it's different
603
:in every generation, and if you.
604
:For people who don't understand the
colloquialisms and the slang that goes
605
:along with each new generation, right?
606
:It could make life a little simpler.
607
:Chris Coulter: I think I, I can
just see a conversation between
608
:it, the, a conversation between
a parent and child escalating and
609
:they're both, hold on one second.
610
:I'm just gonna refer to,
611
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
just gimme a minute here.
612
:Chris Coulter: Yeah.
613
:Hey, you know what that's all we can hope.
614
:Talk about self-regulation, right?
615
:Yeah.
616
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: The team speak
could be the safe person in the room.
617
:Yeah.
618
:But on, on both sides.
619
:That way everybody feels
that they have an advocate.
620
:Yeah.
621
:And the beauty of chat, GPT.
622
:Is there is minimal bias.
623
:Now, I say minimal because for the most
part, when they started programming
624
:them and training them, you had a
whole bunch of male programmers.
625
:So year, a few years back when you
tried to get a, an image, a group
626
:image, say of a ship of pirates.
627
:There were no women.
628
:You asked for women and they had
beards because it had only, it can
629
:only give you back what it has.
630
:And it was given everything
from a male perspective.
631
:I chuckle because I can see the
limitations it has and the why and for me.
632
:That is a safety net for us as humans.
633
:And I don't see AI as taking over.
634
:I can see people abdicating their
rights, but we see that now.
635
:Yeah.
636
:Chris Coulter: I, it's exciting.
637
:It's my first foray into.
638
:IA or AI driven.
639
:And and like I said, it's just the,
it's the tip of the iceberg right
640
:now as far as where things going and
just the ideas that are percolating.
641
:There's some really cool stuff.
642
:Oh yeah.
643
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
644
:Chris Coulter: So it will evolve
over time as the website will, and
645
:yeah, it's it's fun times though.
646
:And I know Elana and I are
having a lot of fun doing it.
647
:And we haven't really even started,
we haven't really even got off the
648
:ground other than having a ton of
people saying that they want their
649
:kids to be involved with it or saying
that they'd like to be a mentor.
650
:Like that kind of blew me away.
651
:I was like, we knew there was
a need, but to have that kind
652
:of much, that much universal.
653
:Embracing of the concept has
been, and I'm not just talking
654
:within kind of in around Toronto.
655
:I'm talking No, I'm talking
across like around the world.
656
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
657
:Chris Coulter: And that's the
beauty of having a voice that's
658
:heard and recognized on LinkedIn.
659
:Your reach is pretty extensive.
660
:Yeah.
661
:So I just before I got on
the the phone with you.
662
:There was a therapist who said, I
wish teens speak with, or I wish
663
:mentor well was here in the uk and
I said, give it a couple of months.
664
:Yes.
665
:Yeah.
666
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
667
:Chris Coulter: We're, that's the plan.
668
:And we want to, initially, we
want grow it from Toronto outward.
669
:We wanna do it in a methodical and.
670
:We wanna make sure we
iron out all the bugs.
671
:Yeah.
672
:Because you only get one chance to make
a first impression, as the saying says.
673
:That's true.
674
:So we wanna make sure
that it is it, it works.
675
:And we wanna scale when
we work out those bugs.
676
:As tempting as it is to say, yes,
come, let's do it Now, you know what?
677
:We're, we'd be setting
ourselves up for failure.
678
:Yeah.
679
:And not to mention it would
fall largely on Alana and I for
680
:now, because we still are in the
midst of vetting our mentors too.
681
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: One
thing I wanna say for anybody
682
:who's considering being a mentor.
683
:And something this is, I don't know,
maybe you guys had this in mind when
684
:you started, but when I read everything
on the website, when I started,
685
:I thought, oh, this is wonderful.
686
:This is like the donor registry
you can offer to donate an organ to
687
:someone else that you don't know.
688
:That has nothing to do with you
because someone in your family.
689
:Needs an organ?
690
:If your child needs a mentor, then
how about you mentor for someone else?
691
:And you are going to learn
perhaps better ways to handle
692
:yourself with your children.
693
:And they are gonna learn better
ways to handle themselves with
694
:other adults because that's
usually what the mentors are.
695
:And I think that network
would keep growing and be
696
:beneficial to so many people.
697
:And looking at it in terms of,
all communities coming together.
698
:It's not just about, my child needs help.
699
:I'm gonna go for help for my child.
700
:It's.
701
:My child needs help.
702
:How can I offer something
from me to another child?
703
:Chris Coulter: And you bring a, an
important point up, Elaine, as far as I
704
:think you were where we are right now.
705
:And first of all, let me qualify.
706
:It's, it is a four,
it's a four fee service.
707
:Our mentors are not volunteers.
708
:They're paid.
709
:The intent though, because
there's a cost associated with it.
710
:I don't wanna make this a two tier.
711
:I don't want to make it a
have and have not system.
712
:Yeah.
713
:The, one of the appeal is
just is equal access for all.
714
:So part of this, and this is the
Maddy, this is the Maddy Co-pilot,
715
:always sitting there tweaking my brain.
716
:We want to create a foundation.
717
:That.
718
:So mentors will, they have
an op, they have an option.
719
:And a lot of, I have to understand
too, a lot of these mentors,
720
:they may be grandparents.
721
:They may be someone who sold a
business and is in retirement.
722
:So the financial.
723
:The financial remuneration
isn't everything to them.
724
:For them it's about giving
back or helping someone.
725
:So what they have the ability to
do is to donate their mentoring
726
:fee to the foundation and they get
a charitable tax receipt for it.
727
:But the beauty of it is then someone,
it, someone else has the ability who
728
:wouldn't otherwise be able to afford it.
729
:To the Mentor program, and that's
something I'm really proud of
730
:because it, the accessibility piece
is really important and I know it
731
:would be a really important element
if Maddie if Maddie was involved.
732
:So that's that's a phase two.
733
:I've already had some conversations
with people and it, it is very viable
734
:and it is a very important piece
that we're still in the midst of
735
:figuring out, but it is going to be
something that is going to be figured
736
:out and be an important part of it.
737
:Yeah.
738
:So thank you for putting the
cart a little bit before this.
739
:A
740
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: little, yeah.
741
:That,
742
:Chris Coulter: that's the, in,
that's the intention anyway.
743
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
744
:Oh, that's wonderful.
745
:That absolutely wonderful.
746
:So I'm wholeheartedly excited about all
that you're doing and more than happy
747
:to take a look at whatever you want me.
748
:Awesome.
749
:This is definitely my wheelhouse
and something that makes me so
750
:happy to be able to offer help.
751
:Chris Coulter: In this way I think I
think you would be an awesome mentor.
752
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh, thank you.
753
:Chris Coulter: And we can have
a discussion for another day
754
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: that sounds.
755
:As you can see, the URL is below.
756
:We will have more information below,
along with the transcript of today's show.
757
:I, I am just, yeah, over
the moon about this.
758
:I got even more than I thought
I would from team speak and
759
:can see that it will be.
760
:Of great use to people that are not
even interested in AM 'cause It is.
761
:It is very simple and the way it's
laid out, it even asks good questions.
762
:So that's I think that's very important.
763
:I thank you so much, Chris for coming
back today and talking with me.
764
:Always a pleasure, Elaine.
765
:Thank you.
766
:I wish you and Alana so much goodness
in going forward and we'll have
767
:to have the pair of you come back.
768
:Chris Coulter: All right.
769
:Looking forward to speaking
again with you soon.
770
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Excellent.
771
:Excellent.
772
:Off you go and have a wonderful
rest of your afternoon.
773
:For once here, it is not raining.
774
:When we have full sunshine,
I'm absolutely thrilled.
775
:Chris Coulter: Yeah.
776
:And I'm not even gonna mention the
senators against the Leafs thing.
777
:Okay.
778
:Music: Yeah.
779
:Chris Coulter: Hey we've been
in this position before when
780
:we've managed to screw it up.
781
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
782
:And the funny thing is
it's very hard for people.
783
:My family because I grew
up in Toronto, right?
784
:So I'm a little torn,
understandably so go everybody
785
:that, that's really,
that really doesn't work.
786
:Again, thank you so much for joining
me and thank our audience and.
787
:Until next time, make the
very most of your today, every
788
:day, and we'll see you again.
789
:Voiceover: Thank you for being
here for another inspiring episode
790
:of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.
791
:We appreciate you tuning in.
792
:Please subscribe and download on your
favorite service and check out SFS
793
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794
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a five star rating or review,
795
:it'd be greatly appreciated.
796
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797
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798
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799
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802
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803
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804
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814
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817
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