A Journey of Growth: Christian Elliot on Homeschooling and Emotional Intelligence

Speaker: 00:00:11

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Shattering

stigma igniting Hope I'M, Elaine

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lindsay and my mission is to end

the stigma and the shame surrounding

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suicide ideation and mental health.

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We talk about the hard stuff because

asking for help should be as.

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ordering coffee.

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Here we share real stories from

those who've lost someone survived

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an attempt , live with ideation or

battle mental health challenges.

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Because sharing your burden

can lighten the load . Please

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note, suicide zen forgiveness.

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The podcast is for education only.

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Some of the subject matter could be

triggering for those who are either

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grieving or having mental health problems.

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If you are in North America, you can

text 9 8 8 for immediate support.

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And if you are elsewhere, please reach

out to your local suicide hotline for

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mental health service, you matter.

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My aim is to normalize the

conversation so you feel safe

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enough to speak up and ask for help.

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So now let's start the show.

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Hello there, and I'm very

happy to be back with you.

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I am Elaine Lindsay,

and this is Suicide Zen

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Forgiveness.

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Today my guest is Christian Elliott.

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Hi there.

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Christian Elliot: Hello there.

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Thanks for having me.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh I'm very

happy to have you come on the show.

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We're going to jump right ahead in

and give you a chance to tell us a

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little bit about you and what you

do, and then we'll get into the story

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that you're gonna share with us today,

and we'll just we'll go from there.

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So Christian, tell us about you.

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Christian Elliot: Thanks

for the opportunity.

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So yeah, so she said, my name's Christian.

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I've been a professional health

coach for about 20 years.

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My sweet spot is really just helping

people find the reasons why they're sick.

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I go after root causes and.

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One of the things I've identified over

the years is that it's often just the

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mental, emotional, spiritual realm as much

or more than it is the physical realm.

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And so my background is as much in

nutrition and fitness and then holistic

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health with alternative practitioners.

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And really, we built a

team of wellness people.

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And then in 2017 we just transitioned

to virtual coaching and really

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I grew my business around life

coaching and relational coaching

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and helping people overcome.

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The big mental and emotional

toxins that are often what bog

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people down and steal their joy.

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It steals their motivation.

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It steals their will to try and it

fills with them instead with who cares?

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Why bother?

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What does it matter if I

do or don't do this thing?

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And sometimes it's just simple little.

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Motivation fluctuations

that people go through.

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And other times it's, existential crises

and fear that there's no point and that

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there's no believable outcome that's

good enough or that would be possible.

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And so I just don't pursue with enough

intent or enough with energy, the things

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of that would lead to a better life.

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And so that is really a lot of what

I do on the day-to-day is we've got,

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several different themed coaching

calls throughout the week, and

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one of them is specifically for.

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Emotional and relational intelligence

to help people have really just a

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safe space to talk about the ups and

downs of life and where we got these

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ideas that we live by and the core

stories we're telling ourselves.

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And so that's a little window

into what I do on the day to day.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Thank you.

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I appreciate that.

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And I'm sure within that, that spirit

of influence you cover probably a

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lot of grief with people as well.

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Grief can hit us through something

as horrific as suicide loss or

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ideation or our own mental health.

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It can also be the loss of

a job, the loss of a pet.

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All of these things can cause us to.

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Allow grief to take over.

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And that's why Thank you.

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We need coaches and mentors and people

who help you deal with these things

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that although our day to day can be.

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A huge stopping block in our lives.

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I'm definitely one who knows that

because I basically sat on the edge of

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my life for almost 40 years and that's

no way to keep on living for sure.

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I.

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We talked for just a few minutes

before you came on, and we touched

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on the fact that your community, I

guess it's children that are being

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taught has recently suffered a loss.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah, it was our,

we have a homeschool community that

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we've belonged to for several years,

and recently there was a there's

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a family that is part of that.

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Community.

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And during the school day, they

got word that the dad in the family

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committed suicide and he had just

been, at church the day before.

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And so there's this wave of shock

that went through a campus of,

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dozens and dozens of people.

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Wow.

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And, it word spreads quickly and

leaves all sorts of question marks for.

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So many people of so many ages.

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And so yeah, we've had to we've had a

handful of conversations around here

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that have been just reminding us of

what's important in life and to not take

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things for granted, to not leave things

unsaid and to just have a little bit

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more attunement to other people's needs.

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And just the genuine recognition

that everyone you meet is

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going through something and.

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Just because they may put on a face on

the outside doesn't mean there's not

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something significant going on underneath.

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So yeah, that's, that one hit home in a

different way than hearing about it on

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the news or hearing the statistics of it.

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It's just that, yeah, it's

more personal that way.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I'm gonna

stop you there and do forgive me but

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this is something we run into a lot

is the languaging around suicide.

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Has.

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Changed.

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And sadly it's so recent that I've been

talking about this with our community

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because it's been happening an awful lot.

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The term committed suicide.

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That was an actual fact.

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It wasn't just something we said,

it was said because attempting

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suicide was in fact a crime.

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And in the United States, most

of the states gave it up as a

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crime in this 1966, I believe.

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And here in Canada, we gave it up in 72.

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As people who watched the show know, I

t my friend new Year's Eve of: 1972

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And in fact, part of.

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My angst and my reluctance to

deal with this was because people

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still considered it a crime.

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People are very easily triggered now,

and we all have to be more cognizant of

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the things that hurt those that are left

behind because no one wants to feel that.

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Their loved one is a criminal.

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And the fact is, for those 40 years that

I talked about, the silence, the stigma,

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and the shame surrounding suicide has

kept people like me, tons of people quiet

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about the people that we have lost, and I

really thank you very much for allowing me

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to share that with you and let you know.

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You know what the changes are.

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I will say this and the very sad

thing is it is still on the books in

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Virginia to this day, and there are

many other countries around the world.

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That attempted suicide is

still considered a crime.

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We all hope that one day, that

in itself will change, but for

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now we do what we can here.

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And I'm sorry to interrupt you as I did,

do you deal with the children that are

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homeschooled, I would assume are all ages.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah,

there's quite a range.

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It goes from, basically kindergarten

through 12, and so there's no I don't

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think any age that was, I don't know

the, how all the families handled it,

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but yeah, pretty much families of any,

or kids of any age had to deal with the,

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the quick spread of concerning news and

sobs and yeah, and just questions of.

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Why are people crying and what's going on?

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And that's, yeah, it's

ever fun and ever expected.

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And but it's, in some ways it's,

it has bonded people to each other

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in ways that, you need support

when things like that happened.

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And yeah it's, that was

a heavy one to deal with.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh, absolutely.

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And I know.

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I very quickly said to you before it's

one thing when you're coaching people

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through grief and helping people with

loss and with challenges with their mental

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health, but it takes on a whole different

nuance when it comes very close to home.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah, no,

it floors you a little bit.

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When I first heard that, it's

just you and they didn't drop the

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phone, but you have a moment of.

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I don't have words for this.

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I don't know, I don't, there wasn't

a context for someone doing something

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like that within our community.

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And so you just, you take a deeper

breath, you take a breath where your eyes

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water and you just shake your head and

say, what in the world just happened?

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And yeah, there's initially for, at

least for me and probably my family,

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there was more silence and questions.

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Silence before questions even came and

just, the hug and the appreciation for

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those of us that are still here and that,

wow, if none of us saw that coming, what,

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who, are there any, is there anybody else

we know who may have something like that?

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And what could we do to bring hope

and perspective and healing to our

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community through something like that?

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That is,

that's such a wonderful response because

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the first response is always shock.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Know in, in denial.

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And it just like, how could this

be asking the questions that people

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will forever ask, what did we miss?

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What did we not see?

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How did we not know

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That he felt that way.

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And the fact is.

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You are never gonna get the

answers to those questions.

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We just don't.

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But what it does do is open the

door for more conversations.

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Even at the young child level

of what are the thoughts that

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go through people's heads?

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Because quite often in the case

of ideation, I was a child,

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I didn't know what it was.

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I had no idea why.

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Sometimes if something went wrong, if

I burnt my toast or I didn't get a,

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an a on an exam, part of me thought,

oh, then I should just exit this life.

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There was, it didn't make any

sense to me, but I didn't know that

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other people didn't feel that way.

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And, I'm a baby boomer, so the time I

was a child, things were very different.

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And you sure didn't say things out loud.

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You saw what happened to people who did,

and that made us all that much quieter.

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For now, it is so important.

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I don't know about in your coaching,

but being able to speak about

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suicide and being able to ask people.

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How their mental health is

probably one of the biggest ways

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you can help with prevention.

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Just as a neighbor, a

friend, a schoolmate.

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Just checking in on those around

you is one of those things.

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I don't think we do enough.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah

I would agree with you.

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I like to think a large part of

my work is as much a dispenser

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of hope as it is anything else.

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And I I'm dependably positive.

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I am very difficult to discourage,

and I think people can sense that

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it's not manufactured, that there's

some place that comes from and.

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For them to be curious, to have

a con, like if you're in that

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funk, to have a contrary example

that people can live in that head

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space and there is reason to hope.

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And so part of what, if I have

any effectiveness in that arena,

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it's as much holding space for and

listening to people's hard stories

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and often those hard stories.

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Go back to early childhood events.

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That could be traumas, that could be

bullies, that could be self images or

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scary things that happened that weren't

really, had nothing to do with them.

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Just scared them.

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And so often the will to try gets

beat down early enough in life.

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And then when there's a fear to make

an effort it starts to, we shrink.

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We live smaller lives and

we are afraid to take risks.

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And part of the way I.

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Out of that is seeing what I like to

collect what I call outlier stories.

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I like to collect extreme examples of

people who overcame some of the most

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difficult circumstances you could imagine.

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And with enough of those kind of

almost at the ready you it's easier

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sometimes to paint a picture for someone

of what the human spirit is capable

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of overcoming and when they find a

strong enough why, when they find a.

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Belief that, and maybe it's a long shot,

but it's still possible and people like

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me have overcome something like this.

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Maybe I could do it too.

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And that often is the way into a, a little

bit different gear of will, a little bit

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different juice for Life that will help

them find the will to go on for that day.

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And a lot of times there's those

waves of overwhelming, you surf them

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and they pass or those waves of.

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Whatever that fear is.

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Yeah.

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It's, they're not permanent,

they're just, they just needed

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space for somebody to listen.

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They just needed belief that things could

be different and some sort of direction

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of where to aim myself so that I can

increase my odds and find some hope.

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And yeah I I, whether it's just

giving them examples or whether

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I go from a Christian perspective

as well, so I can ground their.

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I can ground a discussion in kinda the

first principles of life and what this

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whole thing is about and what happens.

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Where did we come from and where do we

go and what makes this life worth it?

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And it makes it so much easier to find

the question because I know human nature

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well, that can get somebody talking.

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And often when they're, when they've just

been heard, suddenly they feel different.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That is so true.

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Being seen and heard is truly

the most important thing you

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can do for another human being.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah, I agree.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And the other

thing is, of course, saying their name.

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I think it was Andrew Carnegie who

said the sweetest sound to any human

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being is the sound of their own name.

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And sometimes that is simply.

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The validation that you are seeing.

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Music: Yep.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

That you are heard.

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And that can definitely be so powerful.

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So I'm really I'm really

curious as to what got you into

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the homeschooling space and.

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Are you able to bring in your religion

as well as knowledge and teachings and

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what have you for the children, it must

be rewarding to have a community in which

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your children are thriving that way.

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Christian Elliot: Yeah, I

think that's an accurate word.

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It has been such a blessing

to us on so many levels.

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It is a sacrifice.

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It's not to say there is no difficulty

or it's not work, it is effort.

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But we look at it there.

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We jokingly say, and that's reason

number 468, why we chose homeschooling.

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There's, there are so many things about

the public school system that just

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make no sense to us, that just seem.

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I get you.

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It's like I, I now jokingly refer

to it as indoctrination daycare.

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They just go away and you put in

18 years of hard work and then, and

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they're gone and you missed a lot of it.

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And so we get a lot more time

and influence and it's just

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a very different experience.

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Our kids run around this

neighborhood we live in and the.

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Except people refer to

them as old fashioned kids.

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They often don't have shoes

on, and they're not riding

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e-bikes and staring at screens.

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And they, at all different ages

will engage anyone at any age.

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They're not intimidated.

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They're just, yeah,

they're well adjusted kids.

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And to watch them go through that.

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It has been I wish I could go

back and be one of my own kids.

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I, it just the education

they got or they get is.

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So much different and they're so

much more confident and they don't

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have it's like we, we skipped, we

traded some time for a lot of drama.

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We don't have.

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Drama.

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I, my kids, so far, my teenagers

have never hit a rebellious face.

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Like it's not a thing.

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And part of that is, is, the curriculum

to your question about does my, do our

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worldview or our values get interspersed?

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Yeah.

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That's we picked a, it's called Classical

Conversations and it is a Christian based.

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Curriculum and they, there's a co-op

that meets weekly and they, we just have

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a curriculum built around all of these

different disciplines are pointing us

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back to the creator and that they develop

debate skills and reasoning skills

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and they defend their topics and they

do mock trials and they've memorized.

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More things than you could possibly

imagine that you'd want to have on recall.

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And they have, as they grow, they

have context for these, this giant

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timeline of history they've memorized.

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So yeah it's a very different experience.

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And that ability for them to bond, I

think in many ways is a, is would be

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a bulwark against the heaviness of the

topic that we're talking about today.

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Because they're in rich

community and they're.

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Every week they get to, no matter the age,

they have to present something and they

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just get so confident in front of other

people that it's not weird and they get

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to push each other's ability to reason

and have people skills and on and yeah.

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: 00:18:55

So yeah, it's been a

rich experience for us.

312

: 00:18:58

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And how

long has the community existed?

313

: 00:19:01

Christian Elliot: This curriculum

is, it's all over the world, so

314

: 00:19:03

it's not unique to where we are.

315

: 00:19:05

Yeah.

316

: 00:19:05

But it's existed before.

317

: 00:19:07

My daughter is graduating

now in high from high school.

318

: 00:19:10

She's 18.

319

: 00:19:11

So it existed when we started, I don't

know how far back it goes before that.

320

: 00:19:15

But our campus is several years old.

321

: 00:19:18

We've been at this one for four years.

322

: 00:19:20

And so yeah, it's just been wonderful.

323

: 00:19:23

It's what you would want

education to be where families.

324

: 00:19:26

The families in our community

have bonded so well because you

325

: 00:19:29

don't, if you're homeschool, you're

already sharing a lot of values.

326

: 00:19:31

You, yeah.

327

: 00:19:32

You do it for the freedom, you do it to

be able to shape your kids' education.

328

: 00:19:36

You do it for so many reasons, and

yeah, so it's been a great experience.

329

: 00:19:42

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Wow.

330

: 00:19:43

It sounds wonderful.

331

: 00:19:44

And I can relate to the no

shoes in summers as a child.

332

: 00:19:49

You

333

: 00:19:49

Music: know,

334

: 00:19:50

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: playing in

the ravines in Toronto we were out of

335

: 00:19:53

doors from the minute we could get out

until the very last little beam of light.

336

: 00:20:01

Christian Elliot: Good for you.

337

: 00:20:01

Yeah.

338

: 00:20:02

Yeah.

339

: 00:20:02

That sounds like my kids.

340

: 00:20:04

Yeah.

341

: 00:20:04

Where are they?

342

: 00:20:04

They're somewhere in the neighborhood.

343

: 00:20:06

Yeah.

344

: 00:20:06

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.

345

: 00:20:07

There was so much to see and do.

346

: 00:20:09

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

347

: 00:20:10

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And so

they, there's no, they have no.

348

: 00:20:14

Electronics they have

none of that, or well,

349

: 00:20:18

Christian Elliot: well, personally,

my wife and I have, we've created

350

: 00:20:21

a more of a limited media diet.

351

: 00:20:23

You could, like we have our kids, our

teenagers more or less have dumb phones.

352

: 00:20:27

That're not, yeah, we don't.

353

: 00:20:29

But they have computers and they

have schoolwork they need to do,

354

: 00:20:31

so they do access the internet.

355

: 00:20:32

But we've curated a home where our

technology is not an appendage to us.

356

: 00:20:38

Our kids don't have electronic

bikes and scooters and whatever.

357

: 00:20:42

They have to power them themselves,

and they but they don't get

358

: 00:20:46

extended screen time privileges.

359

: 00:20:48

They get it confined into a

little box that's playful.

360

: 00:20:50

And so we don't watch a lot of

television and we, we can play video

361

: 00:20:54

games a little bit on the weekends

and but we're more interested in

362

: 00:20:57

quality time and growing them up with.

363

: 00:21:01

Privacy focused technology

that serves them rather than

364

: 00:21:07

mind controls and manipulates.

365

: 00:21:09

And they're just another commodity.

366

: 00:21:11

And I can't tell you the number of

places we go where you just see four

367

: 00:21:14

teenagers sitting at a table and they're

all looking at their phone and they, my

368

: 00:21:18

kids are just like the ones, you're like,

gee, I don't want one of those phones.

369

: 00:21:22

I don't wanna be that kid.

370

: 00:21:23

Yeah, just people just can't, even adults.

371

: 00:21:25

We can't get away from this.

372

: 00:21:27

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Yeah, I was gonna say that.

373

: 00:21:28

I was gonna say it's

not even just the kids.

374

: 00:21:30

Yeah, it's the adults too.

375

: 00:21:32

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

376

: 00:21:33

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Okay.

377

: 00:21:33

I can't tell you how many times

two days ago, we were out in the

378

: 00:21:37

car and we had to stop three times

because someone was crossing the

379

: 00:21:42

road who was looking at their phone.

380

: 00:21:43

They weren't looking at the cars that were

on the road, and they had earbuds in and.

381

: 00:21:50

I'm a real nervous Nellie.

382

: 00:21:51

There's no way I could walk around

with earbuds because if someone

383

: 00:21:55

came up behind me, I'd jump 40 feet.

384

: 00:21:58

But that whole concept

to me is just bizarre.

385

: 00:22:03

And although my grandkids have

all the bells and whistles,

386

: 00:22:09

they're into all the technology.

387

: 00:22:11

My daughter-in-law is a personal trainer

who specializes in pediatrics and what

388

: 00:22:18

have you, and the kids only get to

play video games or do anything like

389

: 00:22:24

that if they are on the trampoline.

390

: 00:22:26

Oh, there must be some exercise happening

if they're gonna be doing something.

391

: 00:22:32

And it's actually interesting

because they have incredible.

392

: 00:22:37

The hand-eye coordination and muscle

control because they're having

393

: 00:22:41

to do all this at the same time.

394

: 00:22:44

The kids always wanna go outside.

395

: 00:22:47

There's no, we're not seeing, I,

I do know people whose kids have

396

: 00:22:52

no interest in the out of doors.

397

: 00:22:54

It's, it's just, stick with the screens.

398

: 00:22:58

But I, I think that's, I think

it's important for parents to.

399

: 00:23:03

To limit all of that stuff.

400

: 00:23:06

For some people it's a babysitter.

401

: 00:23:08

It's not a, it's not

about the screen time.

402

: 00:23:12

It's about letting the

adults do what they wanna do.

403

: 00:23:15

And I don't think that's

viable either, but I think it

404

: 00:23:20

would be really interesting.

405

: 00:23:23

To see any studies done on kids that have

gone through homeschooling for all of

406

: 00:23:28

the formative years and see what their,

I guess what their life paths are like

407

: 00:23:34

and how much more centered they are.

408

: 00:23:40

Christian Elliot: Yeah, they are, and

it the curriculum that we've chosen, the

409

: 00:23:44

kids that go through that have no trouble.

410

: 00:23:47

Getting scholarships.

411

: 00:23:48

They're some of the most wooed

and wanted by the colleges because

412

: 00:23:51

they're, that's head and shoulders

above their peers from public school.

413

: 00:23:56

And their confidence, their

ability, their knowledge is deeper.

414

: 00:24:00

And yeah, some of that, just

by nature of homeschool.

415

: 00:24:04

You're going to be around different

ages, which is different from the public

416

: 00:24:07

school where you're just with one age.

417

: 00:24:08

And so you're used to relating to a lot

of people and especially in our, I have

418

: 00:24:12

six kids, so we have a lot of different

ages and they're used to being around

419

: 00:24:18

all it, so you just get, it sharpens you

faster, I think in a community where.

420

: 00:24:23

You're with different ages and

you have to, when you're older,

421

: 00:24:26

you have to manage your strength.

422

: 00:24:27

And when you're younger, you have to have

some confidence to speak up for yourself.

423

: 00:24:30

And Yeah.

424

: 00:24:31

And those, it just comes naturally

because you're used to talking and the

425

: 00:24:36

camp the classes are intentionally small.

426

: 00:24:38

So that every kid gets

floor time and that's, yeah.

427

: 00:24:43

Yeah.

428

: 00:24:43

It really does turn out a very

different kid and, so I can't

429

: 00:24:47

speak highly enough of it.

430

: 00:24:49

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

It sounds wonderful.

431

: 00:24:51

It really does.

432

: 00:24:54

I don't know.

433

: 00:24:55

I don't know what the feasibility

is for all communities to morph

434

: 00:25:03

into a more homeschooled system.

435

: 00:25:07

Based on.

436

: 00:25:09

Like in my head, it's fairly simplistic.

437

: 00:25:11

Covid allowed for people to work

remotely and work hybrid sometimes

438

: 00:25:17

at home, sometimes at the office.

439

: 00:25:20

I don't see why you couldn't extend

that to homeschooling as well.

440

: 00:25:26

So many parents were left

scrambling during Covid.

441

: 00:25:29

Because all of a sudden, they

still had to go to work, but their

442

: 00:25:33

children, one child had covid, which

meant the whole class went home.

443

: 00:25:37

For two weeks.

444

: 00:25:38

And the parents had to scramble and try

and see how they could manage that because

445

: 00:25:43

there's only so many sitters to go around.

446

: 00:25:46

And if you're

447

: 00:25:46

Not used to getting sitters all day,

if your kids are in, middle school.

448

: 00:25:52

This is not something that it falls

within your purview on a day-to-day basis.

449

: 00:25:57

There was an awful lot of scrambling,

certainly here in Canada and

450

: 00:26:00

and our friends in the states

say this said the same thing.

451

: 00:26:03

It was it was very difficult to deal with.

452

: 00:26:06

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

453

: 00:26:08

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I

suppose it'd be a little different

454

: 00:26:09

within the community because.

455

: 00:26:13

It is a little more insular.

456

: 00:26:16

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

457

: 00:26:16

Yeah.

458

: 00:26:17

Our life was not disrupted

much at all by Covid.

459

: 00:26:19

It was, I work from home.

460

: 00:26:21

My kids are homeschooled, and

it was just, it was a little bit

461

: 00:26:25

different because there were fewer

people out and that, some of the,

462

: 00:26:28

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: yeah,

463

: 00:26:29

Christian Elliot: different places

were closed for a while, but yeah,

464

: 00:26:31

we were just, we're just used to

being together anyway, and so it

465

: 00:26:34

made life sweeter because we had.

466

: 00:26:37

Less stress and less crowds and

all the other, so that's true.

467

: 00:26:41

Yeah.

468

: 00:26:41

It, there's some updates.

469

: 00:26:43

A lot of people wonder if they

have what it takes to do it

470

: 00:26:46

or how I never could do that.

471

: 00:26:47

Yeah.

472

: 00:26:47

I'm not a professional educator,

but I would challenge those notions.

473

: 00:26:51

No one is going to love

your kids more than you do.

474

: 00:26:54

And you don't have to know everything.

475

: 00:26:56

You just have to know where to point them

and what the tools are and how to build

476

: 00:27:00

community and or where to find community.

477

: 00:27:03

And it is not easy to do it by yourself,

but you don't need to do it by yourself.

478

: 00:27:07

And each of our kids have different tutors

and that's baked into the experience.

479

: 00:27:13

And they largely become self-motivated

because they wanna do it for their peers.

480

: 00:27:18

They want to do it because they

represent themselves and their family.

481

: 00:27:21

And so we haven't had.

482

: 00:27:24

The lazy kid who just won't do the work.

483

: 00:27:26

That's just not a thing.

484

: 00:27:28

Who'd rather be on the phone and

watch cartoons or play games or

485

: 00:27:31

they just, it's not, it's you just

get a completely different culture.

486

: 00:27:36

Yeah.

487

: 00:27:37

And that they don't

know anything different.

488

: 00:27:40

So to them, the public schoolers

are the weird kids, they go, how

489

: 00:27:45

come they're always on their phone?

490

: 00:27:46

Why does nobody make eye contact?

491

: 00:27:48

How come they can't talk to people?

492

: 00:27:50

They're just all quiet and they

493

: 00:27:52

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

don't know how to say hello.

494

: 00:27:53

Christian Elliot: And to them it's

the majority is the weird part.

495

: 00:27:57

So yeah it can be if one when you don't

know anything different it's just, yeah.

496

: 00:28:03

A whole different ball game.

497

: 00:28:08

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Actually, it sounds lovely.

498

: 00:28:09

It really does.

499

: 00:28:11

I know I'm not a patient person.

500

: 00:28:16

Music: Yeah.

501

: 00:28:16

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: So I don't

think I would make a good homeschooler.

502

: 00:28:20

Christian Elliot: You, you'd develop

patience because you would have to,

503

: 00:28:24

and you would lean into it because of

the mission is worth it because of who

504

: 00:28:30

you become in the process and because.

505

: 00:28:33

I, I'm not going to abdicate

a sacred duty because I tell

506

: 00:28:38

myself I'm not a patient person.

507

: 00:28:40

The patience isn't like something

that you are, you're either

508

: 00:28:43

zinged with it or you're not.

509

: 00:28:44

It's a virtue to cultivate.

510

: 00:28:46

It's like any other discipline or virtue.

511

: 00:28:48

It's not, you don't max it out.

512

: 00:28:50

You just get a little better at it.

513

: 00:28:51

You become a little more self-aware,

and you become a little bit more, you

514

: 00:28:55

be a little slower to speak, quicker

to listen, a little less judgmental.

515

: 00:28:59

You stop reasoning from

unverified assumptions and you.

516

: 00:29:02

Take a deep breath and

say okay, that happened.

517

: 00:29:04

Now what can I do about it?

518

: 00:29:05

And it is an invitation to think

about life at a systems level.

519

: 00:29:08

It's an invitation to think

about life from a different

520

: 00:29:11

angle or a different scenario.

521

: 00:29:14

Yeah.

522

: 00:29:14

Who would I have to become to

be patient in this scenario?

523

: 00:29:16

And sure enough, there's an answer

to those types of questions.

524

: 00:29:22

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That

is, that's so interesting.

525

: 00:29:24

It's not something we,

we thought of for long.

526

: 00:29:28

Our kids or our kids are nine years apart.

527

: 00:29:31

So it, it was different with both of them.

528

: 00:29:35

I suppose it, it depends

on where you are as well.

529

: 00:29:39

It would be,

530

: 00:29:43

actually, it might be easier for people

to do it up here because we have six

531

: 00:29:48

or seven months of the year where.

532

: 00:29:50

There are days you can't

get out of your house.

533

: 00:29:52

Christian Elliot: Yeah, I bet.

534

: 00:29:53

As cold as it is where

you aren't Oh, yeah.

535

: 00:29:56

Might yeah.

536

: 00:29:56

It saves gas money, it saves the stress

of just whatever, PTA meetings, teacher

537

: 00:30:03

drama, bullies in school there's so like

just the whole health freedom puzzle

538

: 00:30:09

and navigating curriculum that you

may or may not want your kids seeing.

539

: 00:30:13

And there's just.

540

: 00:30:15

It's just a, it's freedom from

so many scenarios that you'll,

541

: 00:30:21

you can just like opt out, don't

have to bother with that one.

542

: 00:30:25

Yeah.

543

: 00:30:26

Yeah.

544

: 00:30:26

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And is

this something you and your wife

545

: 00:30:28

had planned before you had children?

546

: 00:30:31

Christian Elliot: Not necessarily

my, so here it played out

547

: 00:30:34

my I'm the oldest of four.

548

: 00:30:36

My two younger siblings

finished out there.

549

: 00:30:39

Schooling as homeschoolers.

550

: 00:30:40

I didn't ever homeschool myself,

but my siblings did, and I started

551

: 00:30:45

seeing compelling arguments, like the

difference in the education quality

552

: 00:30:48

was remarkable from what I got.

553

: 00:30:51

And to see what

homeschooling could become.

554

: 00:30:54

There was a.

555

: 00:30:55

We went and visited a campus to just

get a sense of what is this and do,

556

: 00:30:59

is this something we would consider?

557

: 00:31:01

And there were a few

things that were said.

558

: 00:31:02

It was like, wow.

559

: 00:31:03

Like one of them was we're

redeeming two generations at once.

560

: 00:31:06

Like it's taking the education you didn't

get and you get to almost go through it.

561

: 00:31:10

And you get to take your kid through it.

562

: 00:31:12

And that spoke to me.

563

: 00:31:15

And then the recognition that

you can't mess up kindergarten,

564

: 00:31:18

you can't mess up first grade.

565

: 00:31:20

Like I definitely can teach that.

566

: 00:31:23

And so my wife said, okay, I'll do

this for a year and if I don't mess

567

: 00:31:27

it up, I'll consider a second year.

568

: 00:31:29

And umpteen years later,

we're still doing it because.

569

: 00:31:32

It's it the path that you just,

your skills grow as they grow.

570

: 00:31:37

Yeah.

571

: 00:31:37

And it's not like you don't need to

know how to homeschool a high schooler

572

: 00:31:42

when you only have a 5-year-old that

you'll figure that out on the way there.

573

: 00:31:46

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

574

: 00:31:46

Christian Elliot: And yeah, we're

graduating a senior this year and we have

575

: 00:31:49

a son in ninth grade and they're thriving.

576

: 00:31:52

And it's not because we became.

577

: 00:31:54

High school teachers, it's because we

found a system in a community where

578

: 00:31:58

they're largely self-directed and they

have peers that are responsible for the

579

: 00:32:05

same things and they have a di a a tutor

that works with the group of them and

580

: 00:32:09

keeps them on task and they get, they look

forward to meeting each other every week.

581

: 00:32:14

And so it's, yeah, it really is a very

different setting and a different mindset.

582

: 00:32:19

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah,

I was gonna say, it's not.

583

: 00:32:21

It's not, I think what people think of

when they think homeschool being stuck

584

: 00:32:25

at the table in the kitchen with your

four kids and like from kindergarten to

585

: 00:32:30

grade 12 which is obviously something

very different when you're talking

586

: 00:32:34

tutors and getting together and

587

: 00:32:37

You're talking about, about a

whole different system, which

588

: 00:32:39

I think is really interesting.

589

: 00:32:42

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

590

: 00:32:42

There were people that were, that

believed in it so much that I.

591

: 00:32:46

Not surprisingly, they took the time

to think of how to make this doable

592

: 00:32:49

for families or for large families.

593

: 00:32:51

And yeah, how to not pretend that mom can

teach six classes at once at the table.

594

: 00:32:55

That was never the model I.

595

: 00:32:57

But that's what we think of because

of what we know is public school,

596

: 00:33:00

and it's, that's what you do.

597

: 00:33:01

There's one sage and there's a 30

kids, and everybody hears the same

598

: 00:33:04

thing, and you go with the spade

of the slowest student in the room,

599

: 00:33:07

and we don't have to do any of that.

600

: 00:33:09

And some things they, what's fun too

is they're learning from each other.

601

: 00:33:14

Like the third grader helps the first

grader and they're, yeah, they see

602

: 00:33:17

the things that are coming and so

they're a little ahead when it's their

603

: 00:33:19

turn and it's just not that hard.

604

: 00:33:22

But they each, they have their worksheets.

605

: 00:33:23

My wife typically has.

606

: 00:33:25

The way our kids are spaced

about two at a time that involve

607

: 00:33:28

her day from about nine to two.

608

: 00:33:29

They're, she's working

with the two of them.

609

: 00:33:32

The other two were self directed.

610

: 00:33:33

The other two are too small to,

they're just there making messes

611

: 00:33:35

and we're cleaning them up.

612

: 00:33:37

So that's just part of the way it runs.

613

: 00:33:39

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

614

: 00:33:41

Wow.

615

: 00:33:42

That, that, you've given me so much

to think about because I obviously

616

: 00:33:47

had no concept what was involved here.

617

: 00:33:51

Christian Elliot: Yeah, I can keep

going, but I'll let you guide me.

618

: 00:33:54

Yeah.

619

: 00:33:56

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Truly fascinating.

620

: 00:33:58

And you're your own work, obviously

you have time for that as well.

621

: 00:34:03

Christian Elliot: Yes.

622

: 00:34:04

Yeah, I have an office and sometimes it's

quiet in the house and other times it's

623

: 00:34:08

not as quiet, but I have noise canceling

headphones and there's a coffee shop

624

: 00:34:11

nearby if I really need to get away.

625

: 00:34:13

And yeah.

626

: 00:34:13

But we as a, I.

627

: 00:34:15

What's so fun about being a coach for

me is I've had to eat my own cooking.

628

: 00:34:19

I've had to solve problems for other

people that I need solved myself.

629

: 00:34:24

And one of those big ones is

a system that runs the home.

630

: 00:34:28

So it's not two versus six, and we're

just, my wife and I are responsible

631

: 00:34:31

for everything, and they're just

freeloaders who don't contribute.

632

: 00:34:34

And we wanna raise competent humans

who are well adjusted and have skills

633

: 00:34:39

when they leave the house, not.

634

: 00:34:40

Are, dependent and, expecting everyone

to just meet their needs all the time.

635

: 00:34:45

Now you have, you're a contributor in this

family, and we expect things of you, and

636

: 00:34:51

we're not gonna praise you for brushing

your teeth or for making us dinner.

637

: 00:34:54

And that's part of the gig and

taking out the trash is you

638

: 00:34:57

don't get, allowance for that.

639

: 00:34:59

That's called.

640

: 00:35:00

Contributing to the family and, but we've

figured out the systems that run the home

641

: 00:35:05

and they're, no, they're not perfect.

642

: 00:35:06

'cause kids are not always plantable,

but by and large they work and we do

643

: 00:35:12

get the trash out and the dishes do

get done and the laundry's folded and

644

: 00:35:15

the things it takes to run a home.

645

: 00:35:18

Done well distributed, leave

time for family and play and

646

: 00:35:22

yeah,

647

: 00:35:22

meaningful experiences.

648

: 00:35:24

And I had to solve that

problem as a coach.

649

: 00:35:27

And I had to solve it for myself.

650

: 00:35:29

And so what's so fun about being a coach

is when I see, oh, I needed that advice.

651

: 00:35:34

I just gave that person.

652

: 00:35:35

That happens all the time.

653

: 00:35:37

And it's just part of like eventually

you start to become a very quick study at

654

: 00:35:42

finding the challenges that people really

have, whether it's mental, whether it's

655

: 00:35:46

spiritual, whether it's physical, whether

it's logistical, it could be any of those.

656

: 00:35:50

And they're not impossible

puzzles to solve.

657

: 00:35:55

They're just.

658

: 00:35:56

The next one, but there what I love to

aspire to is to call myself a systems

659

: 00:36:01

level or first principle thinker.

660

: 00:36:04

I wanna operate from the first

principle where the idea being, there's

661

: 00:36:06

nothing that comes before this, right?

662

: 00:36:08

Yeah.

663

: 00:36:08

Water runs downhill is an easy one.

664

: 00:36:10

There will always be

things that are dependable.

665

: 00:36:13

With dependable things, as far as I could

tell, the kids get hungry every day.

666

: 00:36:18

They don't, there's no day off where

they don't like, just, dad, you

667

: 00:36:21

don't need to worry about Sundays.

668

: 00:36:22

We won't eat.

669

: 00:36:23

That's gonna happen every day.

670

: 00:36:24

I probably should have a system like

dinner should not sneak up on us.

671

: 00:36:27

Like what?

672

: 00:36:28

It's it, the kids are hungry again.

673

: 00:36:30

There ought to be a system for

otherwise we have no underwear and.

674

: 00:36:33

Food.

675

: 00:36:33

Yeah.

676

: 00:36:34

Yeah.

677

: 00:36:35

So anyway there's a lot of different

examples of that kind of thing, but

678

: 00:36:37

that, that has made me a better coach and

hopefully a better person in the process.

679

: 00:36:42

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

680

: 00:36:44

It, I'm laughing, but I'm laughing

because it's, it makes so much sense.

681

: 00:36:51

Yeah.

682

: 00:36:52

They don't stop.

683

: 00:36:52

They do eat every day.

684

: 00:36:54

They change their clothes every day.

685

: 00:36:56

They sleep every day.

686

: 00:36:57

All of those things

have to happen, whether.

687

: 00:37:00

Whether we enjoy them or whether

we're farming them out or not.

688

: 00:37:04

Yeah.

689

: 00:37:05

And it makes more sense to

have everybody contribute.

690

: 00:37:10

Yeah.

691

: 00:37:10

Because never lived in that

type of a community, but our

692

: 00:37:15

whole family always contributed.

693

: 00:37:17

Because that's how I was brought up.

694

: 00:37:20

And it just it makes the work easier.

695

: 00:37:24

But also it does, it gives you

more time for the fun stuff.

696

: 00:37:27

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

697

: 00:37:28

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And my

grandmother used to say, needs must.

698

: 00:37:33

Christian Elliot: What

did she mean by that?

699

: 00:37:34

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It always,

I always was what on earth is that?

700

: 00:37:39

She say, if something

really needs to happen.

701

: 00:37:44

Then you will find that it must go on.

702

: 00:37:47

It must happen for you and you will

find yourself doing what you need Yeah.

703

: 00:37:53

In order to go forward.

704

: 00:37:56

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

705

: 00:37:56

And

706

: 00:37:56

that's my sentiment saying,

707

: 00:37:57

and I

708

: 00:37:58

think almost anyone can homeschool.

709

: 00:38:00

It's you do it because I

need to figure this out now.

710

: 00:38:02

I, my kid can't read.

711

: 00:38:03

Okay.

712

: 00:38:04

I'm not just be like, nevermind.

713

: 00:38:05

It's probably not important.

714

: 00:38:05

Like you're gonna figure out Yeah.

715

: 00:38:07

What to do to teach them to read.

716

: 00:38:09

And that may mean you experiment,

but the beauty is it's your kid and

717

: 00:38:13

you are invested in their growth,

whereas maybe somebody else isn't

718

: 00:38:18

so invested or likely someone isn't.

719

: 00:38:21

So

720

: 00:38:22

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: it's true.

721

: 00:38:23

And we came from Scotland

722

: 00:38:25

To

723

: 00:38:25

Canada.

724

: 00:38:26

When I was three and before I ever

went to kindergarten, I came from

725

: 00:38:33

a place that expected the parents.

726

: 00:38:37

To teach you your name, your

address, how to write, how to read.

727

: 00:38:42

That was part of their job as parents.

728

: 00:38:46

And somewhere along the way I think we

messed that up or lost it in some form.

729

: 00:38:52

And so much has been put on teachers who.

730

: 00:38:57

Don't have any real skin in the game.

731

: 00:39:01

I'm, and I'm not saying

teachers That's not disparaging.

732

: 00:39:04

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

733

: 00:39:04

It's just real.

734

: 00:39:05

Or they can't have skin

in the game for 30 kids.

735

: 00:39:08

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Exactly.

736

: 00:39:09

It's too many.

737

: 00:39:09

Yeah, exactly.

738

: 00:39:11

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

739

: 00:39:12

But at home, like we, we get

to invest in our kids and we

740

: 00:39:15

use that word intentionally.

741

: 00:39:17

It's, I really, it occurred to me

years ago that chore time and parenting

742

: 00:39:21

don't have to be separate things like.

743

: 00:39:23

Teaching our kids to do dishes

and yeah, and to do life with them

744

: 00:39:27

is parenting and it is modeling.

745

: 00:39:29

It does teach, and I want them to

struggle to scratch the crusty stuff

746

: 00:39:33

off a plate or a, clean out the trash

can because I want them to learn.

747

: 00:39:37

They can do hard things and they don't

get a free pass when something gets hard.

748

: 00:39:41

And I get to be there with them

more frequently because I'm home

749

: 00:39:44

and because they're home and there,

there's a confidence you get when you.

750

: 00:39:51

Realize you can do hard things.

751

: 00:39:52

It was fun.

752

: 00:39:52

My, my oldest son has

a lawnmowing business.

753

: 00:39:56

He's 15, he's had it for four years,

and he was the cute little kid that

754

: 00:40:00

was, half pine, running around the

neighborhood, pushing this giant lawnmower

755

: 00:40:04

and crying and sweating and this is

hard and it's hot and there's bugs

756

: 00:40:09

and I don't know if I could do this.

757

: 00:40:10

And there's too many

people and now he's fine.

758

: 00:40:13

But he wouldn't have had

that confidence had he not.

759

: 00:40:17

We didn't give him like,

sorry, you gotta mow the yard.

760

: 00:40:19

Sorry.

761

: 00:40:19

You better get going

'cause it's gonna get dark.

762

: 00:40:21

Yeah.

763

: 00:40:22

So you can cry about it, but

you still gotta get it done.

764

: 00:40:24

So should we just start?

765

: 00:40:27

And sure enough, it toughens them up.

766

: 00:40:29

They realize, okay, hard work is

valuable and now he's gotta buy

767

: 00:40:33

his own car before he is even 16.

768

: 00:40:36

So he's, yeah.

769

: 00:40:39

There's something beautiful about

being able to gift your kids.

770

: 00:40:43

The, another phrase that was

really helpful is the gift

771

: 00:40:45

of an extended childhood.

772

: 00:40:48

Yeah.

773

: 00:40:48

They don't have to grow up

and face the bully so fast.

774

: 00:40:53

They don't have to fit some other

mold of where they're supposed to

775

: 00:40:58

be, and they can grow their pace and

not get just the peer pressure that

776

: 00:41:02

comes in those giant institutions.

777

: 00:41:04

It just forces things into their

awareness that they don't need yet.

778

: 00:41:11

Absolutely.

779

: 00:41:12

Yeah.

780

: 00:41:12

So that's another gift

we found from homeschool.

781

: 00:41:16

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Now, if you wanna ask a couple

782

: 00:41:18

of tough questions, so Sure.

783

: 00:41:21

Within this framework.

784

: 00:41:23

What about kids that have a mental health

issue, that struggle with something?

785

: 00:41:34

How does that work within

the community or within?

786

: 00:41:39

A family.

787

: 00:41:40

Is there collective help for that and

or is it less, happens less often?

788

: 00:41:50

Christian Elliot: Yeah.

789

: 00:41:50

That really would depend on

the campus, the curriculum,

790

: 00:41:55

the who's in what community.

791

: 00:41:57

So a special needs kid is, wouldn't

necessarily do as well in the

792

: 00:42:02

model that we're talking about.

793

: 00:42:04

But if I had a special needs kid,

I doesn't mean I, I wouldn't have

794

: 00:42:08

other options that I could pursue.

795

: 00:42:11

Okay.

796

: 00:42:11

For something like that, it just, I

don't have that scenario, so I don't,

797

: 00:42:15

I haven't had to find those options.

798

: 00:42:17

But I know they exist and I

know there are like friends in

799

: 00:42:21

our neighborhood that had have.

800

: 00:42:22

Type kids like that and you find other

caretakers, you find other ways to

801

: 00:42:27

support them, and they get to learn at

and grow at their pace and find the tutor

802

: 00:42:33

that, that can make all the difference.

803

: 00:42:35

So it's, it allows for a level of

personalization that is harder to find,

804

: 00:42:41

I think, in the arena of public school.

805

: 00:42:44

And if you if your listeners have not

read the, this will come full circle here.

806

: 00:42:49

The book Bad Therapy by Abigail Schreyer.

807

: 00:42:52

It is a damning look at the public

school system and their use of therapy.

808

: 00:42:57

And one of the worst examples is the

social emotional learning and the way that

809

: 00:43:03

they get kids to marinate and navel gaze

in everything hard and everything sad.

810

: 00:43:09

And they have questionnaires about

how often they think about suicide

811

: 00:43:13

and it's just, it's pointing kids

down rather than pulling them up.

812

: 00:43:17

And that is a sickening.

813

: 00:43:20

And you could get, conspiratorial

and say gross development.

814

: 00:43:24

That's weaponized against the populist

for an extraction model of just putting

815

: 00:43:31

kids on meds the rest of their life.

816

: 00:43:32

And as parents, we get to be the

bulwark against that and says, no,

817

: 00:43:36

if I have whatever kid I've got,

I got, that's the one God gave me.

818

: 00:43:39

And so I'll do the best I can with it.

819

: 00:43:41

But to put them in environments that are

dragging them down and traumatizing them.

820

: 00:43:46

I can't allow that to happen as a parent.

821

: 00:43:48

And this therapy world is, has in

many ways gotten a free pass because

822

: 00:43:52

they know the right buzzwords to

sound like they're helping and

823

: 00:43:54

they're actually creating, that's

the reason she named it bad therapy.

824

: 00:43:57

Like I used to think of therapy as this

kind of, this, it was neutral, not not

825

: 00:44:01

helpful at all to Wow, that's a, amazing.

826

: 00:44:04

Now I've expanded the spectrum to the

left, egregiously, weaponized and harmful

827

: 00:44:07

and destructive for kids all the way too.

828

: 00:44:11

Very helpful.

829

: 00:44:11

It, it can go that way.

830

: 00:44:14

And if parents don't have an eye for

what's going on in the school and what

831

: 00:44:19

kind of, whether it's social emotional

learning or any number of other

832

: 00:44:22

therapists that are at schools, they.

833

: 00:44:25

By and large, one of her most compelling

arguments in the book is that we have

834

: 00:44:29

gen developed a generation of snowflakes

and entitled kids and kids who are

835

: 00:44:33

fearful and mom and dad have to go

to their interviews with them because

836

: 00:44:36

they've never learned resilience.

837

: 00:44:38

They've never learned to toughen up.

838

: 00:44:41

And if we want to shift the culture

and diminish this suicide problem,

839

: 00:44:46

that would be a great place to start.

840

: 00:44:48

And some of us, enough of us

just opting out of the system,

841

: 00:44:51

developing a better way and.

842

: 00:44:53

Doing what we've done in homeschool,

and sure enough, you get well adjusted

843

: 00:44:57

humans who are gonna be a boost to

society rather than a drain on it.

844

: 00:45:01

Yeah.

845

: 00:45:01

So anyway, that's an

interesting full circle.

846

: 00:45:04

We came to there

847

: 00:45:04

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

and it certainly is.

848

: 00:45:06

It certainly is.

849

: 00:45:09

So well you've given myself and

our audience a lot to think about.

850

: 00:45:14

I wish you well with all six kids.

851

: 00:45:16

Wow.

852

: 00:45:17

That's thank you.

853

: 00:45:18

That's a whole family.

854

: 00:45:20

Christian Elliot: It is.

855

: 00:45:21

There's a lot of us.

856

: 00:45:21

Yeah,

857

: 00:45:22

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

858

: 00:45:22

And there, there used to be.

859

: 00:45:24

In all families there used to be

an awful lot of kids and that may

860

: 00:45:28

be the way we're going back to.

861

: 00:45:30

Who knows?

862

: 00:45:31

I thank you so much for joining me today.

863

: 00:45:35

You're welcome.

864

: 00:45:35

Elaine Christian Elliott, and if you

have questions, you'll be able to

865

: 00:45:40

find down below all the information

about Christian and how to get

866

: 00:45:45

ahold of him and what he does.

867

: 00:45:49

And we'll make sure that you

know exactly how to find him.

868

: 00:45:54

I thank you so much.

869

: 00:45:56

I'm Elaine Lindsay.

870

: 00:45:57

This is suicide and forgiveness.

871

: 00:46:00

We will see you next time, and in the

meantime, I would like you to make the

872

: 00:46:06

very most of your today, every day.

873

: 00:46:10

Bye for now.

874

: 00:46:11

Voiceover: Thank you for being

here for another inspiring episode

875

: 00:46:14

of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

876

: 00:46:16

We appreciate you tuning in.

877

: 00:46:18

Please subscribe and download on your

favorite service and check out SZF42

878

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879

: 00:46:25

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880

: 00:46:28

it'd be greatly appreciated.

881

: 00:46:30

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882

: 00:46:33

and inspiration from our guests.

883

: 00:46:36

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884

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886

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887

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888

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889

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890

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891

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893

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894

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895

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896

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897

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898

: 00:47:35

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899

: 00:47:37

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900

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901

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902

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