Episode 35
Dropping the Armor: Aaron Gibson on Healing, Humor, and Hard Truths
9 35
Dropping the Armor: Aaron Gibson on Healing, Humor, and Hard Truths
Show Notes
If you’ve ever wondered how veterans cope with mental health challenges after service, Aaron Gibson’s story will hit home. This Soul Man Live host, producer, and Gen X veteran mental health advocate has lived through domestic violence, post-military depression, and an autism diagnosis—and still built a platform of kindness and connection. His journey proves that healing from trauma is possible, and that suicide prevention stories aren’t just statistics—they’re lifelines.
Aaron Gibson has been called a lot of things—soldier, content creator, producer, Gen X madman with a “my lady” charm—but his truest titles? Survivor. Connector. Truth-teller.
In this raw conversation, Aaron and Elaine go deep into surviving domestic violence, navigating post-military life, living with autism, and realizing that mental health breaks aren’t a luxury—they’re survival gear.
Aaron’s “Soul Man Live” is part late-night hype show, part lifeline for anyone having a rough Friday. And in true Aaron style, he reminds us that showing up for people without expecting a damn thing in return might be the purest form of service there is.
💥 What We Talk About:
- Growing up Gen X with an alcoholic parent and a stiff-upper-lip culture
- Life after the military: discipline, distrust, and finding a new mission
- Autism diagnosis at 46—and the puzzle pieces it put in place
- Why kindness is never wasted, and “my lady” is more than a phrase
- How his livestream became a global mental health safe space
- The magic of genuine connection in a cynical world
🔗 How to Connect with Aaron Gibson:
- LinkedIn: Aaron Gibson
- YouTube: Aaron Gibson SML
- Instagram: @aarongibsonsoulmanlive
📞 If You’re in Crisis:
If you're in North America, text 988 for free, 24/7 support.
Elsewhere? Please reach out to your local suicide prevention or mental health hotline. #YouMatter
💬 Subscribe, rate, and share if this episode moved you. It could be the lifeline someone else didn’t know they needed. Let's start the #ConverSAVEtions
Bio
Host of the Globally Nominated and Internationally recognized Show Soul Man LIVE!!! - (6x) International #1 Best Selling Author - Executive Livestream Producer of N.I.C.& VYV- Trainer - Video Visioneer - Song Writer
Hailing from Calgary Alberta Canada I feel like a soul that has lived multiple lifetimes in one.
From Scottish heritage growing up in the country as a child in Ontario Canada, then moving to Calgary as a teenager to start working at the age of 14.
Links & Socials
Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/aarongibsonsoulmanlive/
LinkedIn - linkedin.com/in/aaron-g-801a2ba4
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@AaronGibsonSML/
©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.
https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/dropping-the-armor-aaron-gibson-on-healing-humor-and-hard-truths
Elaine Lindsay
Explicit
Transcript
When moving forward seems too much.
2
:When you feel totally out of touch,
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:Hope is seeping out the door You
find yourself, curled on the floor
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:The thoughts swirl around
all jumbled and messed.
5
:Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?
6
:I have secrets I've never confessed.
7
:Haven't told the soul,
8
:I'm depressed.
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:A gentle whisper through the pain,
“Remember, rainbows follow rain.”
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:. Breathe deeply.
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:Hold on.
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:tight, Your hope will
return, shining bright.
13
:Embrace the now, release the past,
In forgiveness, peace will last.
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:You matter deeply, you're not
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:alone, Reach out, let your strength
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:be shown.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: hello.
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:Hello there.
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:It's really good to be back.
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:And today I wanna introduce you to.
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:Someone I only really got to know
this January while I was at PodFest.
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:I did see him remotely last year
at Pod Fest, but I actually got
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:to embrace him IRL this year.
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:Aaron Gibson, it's
wonderful to have you here.
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:Aaron Gikbert: Pleasure is mine, my lady.
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:Thank you so much for having me.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Oh
it's just I am super excited
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:because one, I have to tell you the
audience that it's just so nice.
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:He always calls me my lady,
and it makes me feel special.
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:And there's nothing nicer than
someone who just gives you a
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:little lift, which is awesome.
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:I just need you to know that, Erin.
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:It's refreshing.
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:It's lovely.
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:It hearkens back to a different
time and I just, I get a little
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:thrilled every time you do that.
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:So thank you.
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:Aaron Gikbert: Everyone
deserves that respect.
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:That's good.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
And you are very respectful.
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:And I believe that I need to
start this by saying, I believe
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:thank you for your service.
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:That is super important to me.
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:I come from a military family and
these things are so critically
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:important in our world today.
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:It is so fraught with.
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:Everything and anything that is
not wholesome, that I think it's
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:really important that we make sure
that we convey to those around
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:us how much we appreciate them.
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:We thank them for their service.
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:All of our first responders, our military,
it's absolutely critical and not gonna be
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:preachy here, but it just so happens that
we do our groceries on a Thursday morning.
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:This is going somewhere, and the firemen
there's usually three or four trucks.
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:They get together and do their
groceries Thursday morning and there's
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:a rotation of them that come through
and make a point every Thursday
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:of thanking those that come in.
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:Because all of you do such tough
jobs and I have all this freedom
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:and I'm alive, and I was, rescued
by ambulance drivers and yada.
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:So if they matter to you,
if you think about it.
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:Or if I can press you to think
about it, the next time you see
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:somebody with a veteran plate, the
next time you see a first responder,
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:can you just please say thank you?
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:And that's Glamma's little push for today.
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:On that note, let's get
back to our amazing guest.
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:I'd love you to give our audience a
little bit of information about who you
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:are and all the amazing things you do.
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:'cause he really does.
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:Aaron Gikbert: Oh, you
humbled me, my lady.
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:And I'm a modest soul.
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:I am somebody that has paved their way up.
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:I served a term with the military.
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:I worked for corporate.
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:I myself am a technical trainer by day and
during the evening, I am a social media,
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:content creator and producer at night.
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:I produce four live streams now.
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:Two global award winning shows
with my brother Brian Schulman
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:and Nancy Debra Barrows.
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:And then my baby sister's
show Nick never in control.
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:Nicole and GE Galindo's show.
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:And then my own show.
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:And the show was basically.
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:Created about fun upon, fundamental
pillars throughout my journey and my path.
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:And so during the evening I have Aaron
Gibson, soul Man live on Fridays which
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:is a late night mental health talk show.
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:And it's like a mix between
and much respect out there.
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:It's like a mix of Jimmy
Fallon meets mental health.
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:We have a lot of fun.
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:We have a lot.
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:We hype you up.
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:We make sure that you're embracing that.
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:Not everybody has a great Friday, but
we're gonna do our damnedest to make sure
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:that you get a good Friday, under you.
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:And if you're listening to some of
the music, all the music, now that I,
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: that's
the thing, the music's really good.
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:Aaron Gikbert: Thank you so much and
I wanted to give you a shout out too
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:'cause as soon as your intro came
on, I seen lyrics by Elaine and I was
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:like, you've written your own work
as well, so I celebrate you in that.
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:That made me really happy to see in that
intro and a beautiful intro as well.
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:The other side of so Aaron
Gibson, soul Man Live.
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:Livestream is now, we've moved,
I just released the news that
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:we're now moving into production.
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:I'm offering some of my services out
there for people that wanna create their
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:intros and start to learn a little bit
more about the behind the scenes work.
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:I'm not, you wouldn't believe it, and
I know it's the way that, that things
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:work on LinkedIn and YouTube and all
that other jazz, but, you start to
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:build a circle and you start going
bigger places, and when you start going
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:those bigger places, you start having
a little bit more impact on the world.
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:And so what I did was I created a show
based off of my life, which was, a son
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:that has gone through an alcoholic father
seeing domestic violence within my home.
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:I served a term in the military.
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:I had a great life, football lifetime kind
of gig going for me back in high school.
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:Got married at a very early age, got
married at the age of 25 to start my life
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:there, but realized that through all the
things that I've been doing, that after
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:the military, where you're finally honed
machine and every gear has its purpose
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:and it needs to still stay well oiled.
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:And we don't lie because if you lie,
there's putting those with those people,
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:you can put those people in jeopardy.
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:And potentially lose a
life so you don't lie.
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:And it starts to become almost a
trigger when people are false with you.
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:And so I went through a lot of stuff.
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:I did a tour of duty overseas
in Bosnia, Hertz Covina.
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:Seen a lot, lived through a lot.
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:The environment there is
there's a lot of recovery.
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:There's a lot of healing that
has to happen in that area.
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:But I got out of the military and,
started in my pursuit into hvac spent.
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:Quite a bit of time learning and
because of my attention to detail
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:found that I adapted well to it.
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:The I like the fact that my
patients didn't talk back to me.
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:It's a furnace or an air conditioner,
I get to diagnose you and you
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:can't talk back to me kind of idea.
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:But all meanwhile, going through a
lot of challenges in the background
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:of, again, my mental health and not
even realizing at that point that I
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:was struggling with mental health.
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:There's a, there's, we get this kind
of I feel we get this kind of facade
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:that puts over our eyes and depending
on our culture and our backgrounds and
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:our beliefs that we're culturalized
with, as children, we don't start
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:to really ask the questions until we
start out on our own, when we start
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:getting put into some more challenging
situations and even traumatic situations.
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:And start to really look back and go
like, why am I so angry all the time?
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:Why am I not feeling like I wanna roll
outta bed and just get on with my day?
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:Why?
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:Why is it such a struggle?
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:And why do I feel so alone
all the time with this?
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:Why is it seem like everybody with
around me seems to just be fantastically
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:magically wonderful and special?
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: I don't
know exactly how much younger than
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:me you are, but you probably had the
internet since a relatively young age.
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:Aaron Gikbert: Oh, I'm a Gen X baby.
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:Okay.
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:I'm, I was born in 76,
so I'm 49 years old.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Okay.
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:Okay.
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:You're younger than my daughter.
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:Yeah.
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:The next, so yeah, so you've had.
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:More connection than we did,
which is a double-edged sword.
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:It can be really good,
but it can be really bad.
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:And that and forever, there have
been those of us who immediately
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:have that feeling of aloneness
no matter what, and it's not.
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:It's not related to one
culture, it's in all cultures.
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:It just plays out a little differently
depending on what those cultural mores
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:are that you were brought up with.
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:As a Scots person you don't
air your dirty laundry.
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:You don't tell tales out of
school, which really means you
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:anything that's within the home.
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:You don't take outside.
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:And everybody has a stiff upper
lip, or they're supposed to, and
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:that's, we now know not the way for
people to be because it makes you
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:feel even more alone and all the.
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:So many things as a child that were
taboo, that as you came along, gen X came
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:along and started getting rid of those
taboos as a young teen, I can remember my
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:daughter, I would get upset and she'd tell
me things because there's only one thing.
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:There was only one rule in our house.
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:I will stand behind you.
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:God help you.
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:If you are a murderer, it will
break my heart, but I will be there.
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:I love you.
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:I am your mother.
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:Do not lie to me.
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:That is the one thing, and I
don't know where it came from.
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:I don't know why that was
such a big deal for me.
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:Anything else, I will give
anyone a second chance lie to me.
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:And you almost don't exist anymore.
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:Which is it.
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:It's funny that you said
it and I was like, oh, wow.
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:That's so interesting.
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:Because we do, we think we're alone.
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:We think we're the only one.
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:It's a very specific form of tunnel
vision because we are outgoing, we are.
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:Often the life of the party.
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:We are the people that look out for
everyone else that makes sure everybody
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:else is doing well, but no one can
penetrate that bubble of aloneness.
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:It's a it's some kind of
weird armor I believe.
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:Aaron Gikbert: It's, I feel, and I'm
by no means I, for me, and part of
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:the aspect of my show that I like to
bring to the table is the fact that
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:I am a patient of mental health.
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:I've gone through seven years of
therapy and it, the benefits of
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:it, there was, when we were growing
up, you're calling exactly as it
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:was Gen X time or the eighties.
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:It was swept under the carpet.
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:You didn't bring your
dirty laundry to the table.
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:Everything was, again, a magical.
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:Lollipop and gun drop world that,
oh, look, I'm such, this is my,
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:it's about a status thing, I feel.
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:Yeah, it was about status
back then a lot of the time.
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:Yeah, and what we were falsely led to
believe is that the more that we try to
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:suppress these things, rather than just
owning it and moving on, the more that
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:they sit under our surface and fester.
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:And then years later, decades later,
they're coming to the surface and
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:you're angry at the smallest little
thing and you can't figure it out.
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:Why?
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:And it's, it may not be the
biggest thing in the world, but
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:your mind is telling you that.
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:And it, that's where it gets into it.
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:And the big thing that we're circling, or
I feel we circle around is that mindset.
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:Yeah.
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:If you've been cultured and patterned
into this way, how do you even, like
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:I said earlier, I didn't recognize,
I thought I came out of the military.
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:I was set, I was, I had
protocols, regimens, yeah.
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:This is how I operate.
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:This is what I do every morning.
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:And we stay in that finally set pattern
and not ever deviate from it because
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:it works for us rather than going Okay.
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:It works for us, but is it healthy?
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:And unlike you, and unlike most
people, I have never been to therapy.
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:However, at 12 years of age, I started
volunteering in a very huge facility.
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:It was called Rideau Regional
Hospital School, and by the time
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:I was 15, the Ontario government
gave them a special dispensation.
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:To have me work there for the
summer and the other people
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:were all 18 and 19 years of age.
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:The things I saw, there are not things
a 15-year-old should see, or a 14 or
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:13-year-old, and it forced me to shut
up even more because back then there
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:was the possibility of being locked up.
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:Very easily.
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:Even, and I've said this on the show
so many times, people in the next
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:generation X and millennials and Gen
Z, they, they don't have the weight
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:of the poor choices in names of.
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:Of teams and in songs.
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:There was a song that was called,
I, they're coming to take you away.
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:Ha ho
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:Aaron Gikbert: To the funny farm.
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:The
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: funny farm.
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:Aaron Gikbert: That was one, actually one
of my favorite songs growing up as a kid.
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:Yeah.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
Where everything is beautiful
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:all the time and de da.
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:First of all, do you know there is no
music, there are no instruments to that.
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:Absolutely none.
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:It's wow.
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:But that song and working in that
place and seeing electroshock therapy
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:and the aftermath, and seeing a
young boy I went to school with
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:suddenly be there as an inmate.
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:Was mind blowing in all the wrong ways.
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:So I totally understand the alone
nesting and the keeping it to yourself.
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:I didn't have the benefit of being
in the military, but I lived in a
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:military household so things were just
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:Aaron Gikbert: as good.
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:Just as good.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
Yeah, we're very regimented and.
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:Rightly I don't complain a about that.
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:I complain about the school I was
sent to, went to a convent school.
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:My parents were very adamant
that I would go to a Catholic
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:school and it was paid back then.
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:You, you couldn't go after
grade nine without being paid.
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:I tried everything in my power
to have the no, save your
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:money, I wanna go public school.
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:All of these pieces, stood
in for therapy back then.
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:And then when I got to adulthood
and much older, I teamed up with
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:a spiritual mentor and I am.
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:I'm no longer religious, I'm spiritual.
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:And that's a big difference for me.
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:And were your family religious?
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:Aaron Gikbert: So I, and I'm very,
and I'll be, I'm as transparent and
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:genuine, as authentic as you can get.
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:I was born Roman Catholic,
however, non-practicing.
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:And I am very much spiritual as well.
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:Three years ago I was
diagnosed with autism.
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:So as a, I'm referred to as an AS
B1 *, so I'm the one of the levels
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:up where again, certain things
trigger me and not recognizing
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:that and going through all that.
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:Yeah.
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:So you start to recognize a lot of the
things that you're talking about, which
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:is again, what is the perspective that
you were growing, given growing up.
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:Is it the right perspective
and are you questioning it?
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:Are you doing your research?
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:Yeah.
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:Because we do, we get to that level where.
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:We start off it.
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:It's crazy the way that we look
off how most lifestyles start.
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:We start off as children.
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:We wanna be superheroes, we
wanna be cartoon characters,
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:we wanna be this and that.
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:And then we aspire to again, look
at what our parents are doing.
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:When we start to get that
heightened level, we're like,
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:okay, what are mom and dad doing?
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:And they, are they cooking?
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:Are they cleaning?
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:Are they home care?
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:You start getting a treat and
then you're like, okay, where
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:do I fit into this world?
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:You get into the teens, you're like,
where do I fit into this world?
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:What am what is my goal here in this?
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:What is my journey gonna be?
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:Am I gonna be a superstar or am I gonna
be just somebody that's just gonna be,
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:just be, and what's wrong with that?
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:Some people just wanna live
a simple and easy life.
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:A lot of us do.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Absolutely.
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:And it's it's interesting when
you put it like that, because.
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:I saw lots of people around
me that were doing that.
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:They were looking at their parents.
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:What they did, they were looking
at, what was open to them.
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:In my day as a woman, it was fairly
limited what we knew of, and it's
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:limited by what your parents know.
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:My parents were immigrants.
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:Okay.
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:My father was in the British
Air Force before we came here.
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:He joined the Canadian Air
Force when we got here.
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:My mother worked in an office.
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:I, for the longest time,
had no idea what she did.
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:But later on she worked in libraries
and she later was a financial systems
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:analyst for Energy Mines and Resources
Canada, and traveled across the
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:country doing that kind of thing.
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:Those were not things that they
ever told us were available because
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:they could only see what they knew.
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:You could be a nurse, you
could be a teacher, you could
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:be an airline stewardess.
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:And my father did not want me to
go into the military because he was
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:afraid for me and things back then.
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:During the Vietnam War, they were, it
was iffy, was Canada joining or whatever.
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:And so with that very limited amount of
choices, a lot of people that I talked
335
:to were in the same boat what do we do?
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:And it was shortly after Woodstock
and people were a little more laisse
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:faire about what they were going to do.
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:You came along and in the early
eighties and even, the late
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:seventies and early eighties,
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:your parents we, our generation
were so busy trying to make
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:sure you had more than we did.
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:Aaron Gikbert: Yeah.
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:The legacy continues, right?
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:Yeah.
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:Just make sure that the
next generation survives.
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:Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: And that, I'm
sure that played a part in how you feel.
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:I have never been diagnosed, but
I firmly believe I have ADHD.
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:As you said, for all the same reasons,
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:Aaron Gikbert: and you find out
later on, but it starts to make
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:sense when you start to investigate,
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:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: oh, God
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:Aaron Gikbert: the properties behind it.
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:And now I'm able to, now that I did
learn, it sucks that I learned it.
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:I wish I could have known this.
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:I would've made a lot better choices back.
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:We again, came through a culture
and even think about the culture
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:that you just brought up.
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:See, I'm a Gen X baby, so yeah.
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:We were feral children that raised
each other, that drank the hose water
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:and yeah, we did some crazy stuff.
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:We, but we also paid
attention and we listened.
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:When you're growing up, during
that time there was no iPhones.
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:If you were lucky enough, maybe your
family could afford a laser disc
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:player that might have been portable,
but it was probably the size of a
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:tank going into your vehicle, right?
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:Yeah, we had the window to stare out
and we had a lot of times where there
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:was a lot of silence and there was a
lot of times where there wasn't silence.
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:But we look back at again, that culture
and just from what you described.
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:I'm a mama's boy.
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:I won't lie.
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:I'm a mama's boy.
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:I learned a lot from my mom growing
up, and I also watched on how she
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:was treated because that's what every
young boy wants to do is protect
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:their mom and the way that I was what?
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:Watching women being treated
out in the workforce, they were
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:still being looked down upon.
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:Yeah.
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:There was a lot of, there should
have been a lot more opportunities
381
:because again, everybody's had a mom.
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:It may not have been the greatest mom,
but there has been somebody that has
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:brought you into this world and the
majority work towards raising your
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:young on to survive after you're gone.
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:That is your mission.
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:That is your role as a parent.
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:But I remember I remember how you ladies
had to, they were forcing magazines down
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:your throats on how you were expected to
look and how you were expected to talk.
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:My mom bless her heart.
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:I and I'm so grateful for it because she
helped to create the equalitarian view
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:that I have now, which is, you know what?
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:You can look down your nose.
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:We are still just as capable.
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:Yeah.
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:And I watched my mom do some
miraculous things, and I watched a
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:lot of amazing women that I was with
in the infantry during the Army.
397
:These were some of the first women
coming through in the infantry during
398
:my time that were out marching and
out carrying a lot of other guys
399
:that were falling to the wayside.
400
:So it's not the shell that
determines you, it's your core.
401
:Where's your fire?
402
:Where are you going?
403
:What is gonna drive you forward?
404
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
And I can honestly say.
405
:Yeah.
406
:Yeah.
407
:I was in a very different world from
most people because from 16 to 20 I
408
:didn't exist from the time my friend
died and from 20 when I had my accident.
409
:The next 15 years were just trying
to become a person again and.
410
:It was just, I guess how my brain worked.
411
:I never was one to compete or push a
feminist agenda because I didn't look
412
:at men or women as any different.
413
:It was either you can
do the job or you can't.
414
:And I was more of an entrepreneur.
415
:I was an interior decorator and
when I could work, 'cause there
416
:were long times where I couldn't.
417
:It never occurred to me that if I work
and I was often commission based because
418
:I was doing interiors, and it's a very
different setup in the entrepreneur
419
:world than it is in corporate.
420
:My, health and my continued surgeries
and stuff made it impossible for
421
:me to get a corporate job because.
422
:Sometimes I'd last two weeks,
sometimes it'd be a month, and
423
:then four months in the hospital,
nobody's gonna hold a job that long.
424
:Not even today.
425
:It's just not the thing.
426
:So it made it a little different.
427
:It made it different for my son
too, because, like you, he, although
428
:he's younger he's the, I guess
the beginning of the millennials.
429
:He's almost 10 years
younger than his sister and.
430
:He saw me like pushing my
own path just going forward.
431
:There, there was none of what a lot
of my friends went through that, that
432
:your mom would've seen in working
and in, in seeing the difference.
433
:Between a man and a woman.
434
:But the funny thing is, as traditional as
old school, as my parents were, the reason
435
:they came to Canada was because my mom
and dad wanted their marriage to be equal.
436
:And they didn't wanna go through
the same crap in that they went
437
:through in Scotland, because that's
not how marriage was looked on.
438
:Different culture, different behaviors.
439
:Yeah, different patterns.
440
:And they came here.
441
:Now I, I say very tongue in cheek,
my father was very helpful to
442
:my mother, but all the curtains
in the house had to be closed.
443
:He would do the dishes, he would
vacuum, he would do all that.
444
:But the place had to be locked
up like a vault because no
445
:one could see him doing that.
446
:And him and I talked about that just
a couple of years ago and it was, he
447
:was looking back and thinking it was
funny, but it was the norm because he
448
:couldn't go to the mess and tell people.
449
:That's what he did on a Saturday morning.
450
:That just went and he was not
one to go to the mess much
451
:because my father didn't swear.
452
:My father did not believe
in off-color jokes.
453
:He was such a straight arrow.
454
:Both my mom and my dad.
455
:I am nothing like them.
456
:Absolutely nothing like them, but it was.
457
:You learn through what you live and
it really, it gave me, I, I thought
458
:some really good markers, some not
so good ones too, but some really
459
:good markers for taking the measure
of a person and understanding that
460
:there are so many different people in
the world, and that's a good thing.
461
:Aaron Gikbert: It's a beautiful thing.
462
:Yeah.
463
:Yeah.
464
:I love going to new places and meeting
new people and the places that I've been.
465
:Right off the hop, right when I went
to Jamaica, the first time I ever
466
:got a chance to go to Jamaica, which
was again, a gift I met a man there.
467
:His name was Mr.
468
:Brown, and just cut from the same cloth,
kind, gentle, thoughtful, considerate.
469
:And responsive.
470
:Like not just, somebody going through the
motions, like he was living his job and
471
:his job was to drive us around, to show
us, the 10 most haunted places in Jamaica.
472
:Which was a fantastic trip.
473
:But he made it, he made you feel
like family in a very short amount
474
:of time and comfortable and safe.
475
:And when you're traveling that's prime.
476
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Oh yeah.
477
:Yeah.
478
:Aaron Gikbert: Especially when you
see the genuine care and concern.
479
:It's yeah, stay in the bathroom.
480
:Okay, we're stopping it.
481
:No, it's no.
482
:You're gonna have to
wait until the next town.
483
:It's no, we're stopping.
484
:Yeah, everybody, this
is what we're gonna do.
485
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: And
doesn't it make a world of difference
486
:in, your whole trip, or it doesn't
even matter if it's like an Uber or.
487
:You go into a restaurant and the
person who's serving you or the
488
:owner of the restaurant is really
involved in what they're serving you.
489
:They wanna be sure that you are
enjoying what they're giving you.
490
:We a group of us went on a
cruise just a few years ago, I
491
:think 2022 if I'm not mistaken.
492
:And we went to, . Turks and Caicos.
493
:Before we went one of my friends
said, let's not take the cruise line
494
:trip, let's find one on our own.
495
:'cause they cruise an awful
lot all around the world.
496
:Said, yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
497
:So we found a little company in
Turks and Caicos and they had it
498
:was supposed to be a three hour.
499
:Tour where they would show us there's
a reef off Turks and Caicos, and take
500
:us to see some stingrays and go to
this little island and there would be
501
:a, they'd make you lunch and then you
can swim and snorkel, blah, blah, blah.
502
:And we go and we get to
this beach and there is.
503
:A little boat that, I
don't think it was 18 feet.
504
:Okay.
505
:There's 12 or 13 of us getting on
this boat and I, as I don't walk
506
:well and the young man was so
helpful before I could say boo.
507
:He had put me on the boat and
said, no, you need anything.
508
:They were so attentive to us.
509
:We ended up being with this little boat,
with the boat people for almost six hours.
510
:They took us, they had a couple
of guys on that were in our group
511
:diving for conks and those conks
are what they had in a beautiful
512
:ceviche that they made on the beach.
513
:The group from.
514
:A bunch of charters came
by on these big catamarans.
515
:70 of them got off and walked onto the
island, walked into the water, saw a
516
:stingray, took a walk, went up this hill,
came back down, got on the boat and left.
517
:I don't think they were there.
518
:20 minutes.
519
:They paid more than we did.
520
:We had a phenomenal time.
521
:We had our boat crew
kept making us rum punch.
522
:I got to snorkel.
523
:Had help getting back in the boat, which
was awesome, and got to snorkel with
524
:a nurse shark, which was really cool.
525
:But they were so invested.
526
:So I wrote them a full page review
on Google and they answered it.
527
:But I was talking to the young man
before we got off and it's their family.
528
:Their family does it.
529
:It's their little boat.
530
:They love what they do, and it was one
of the best trips I have ever had in my
531
:life, and I've been on a lot of trips.
532
:But the fact that they cared that they
so loved what they were doing, and why
533
:I'm telling you this whole story is
because I want the audience to know.
534
:This is what I saw with Aaron from
the first moment I met him and IW
535
:where were four days, five days.
536
:How long were we there?
537
:I
538
:think it was four days.
539
:I think we were there for four days.
540
:So I saw you every one of those days.
541
:You never missed a chance
to say hello to somebody.
542
:You never missed a chance to be kind.
543
:And just watching you for me
was a joy and I, that level of
544
:genuine is absolutely priceless.
545
:And I just wanna say thank you.
546
:That's the other reason I wanted
you on here, because we don't get.
547
:To interact with a hundred percent
genuine people every single day,
548
:and I believe there's at least
one, if not two or three out
549
:there for every one of us.
550
:You just have to open your eyes,
just open your heart just a little.
551
:You'll find someone because I know
for a fact now none of us are alone.
552
:Aaron Gikbert: Beautifully said.
553
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Thank you.
554
:Aaron Gikbert: Thank you for that.
555
:I'm humbled.
556
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
You humble me because watching
557
:you made me wanna do better.
558
:Aaron Gikbert: That is, I think, the
nicest thing I've ever heard anybody say.
559
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Aw.
560
:Aaron Gikbert: So thank you.
561
:You're gonna get me all verklempt here.
562
:I'm not afraid of crying on screen either,
but it's the, and that's because I spent
563
:over 40 years of my life suppressing
that stuff because I was like, you,
564
:I was, keep it under the carpet.
565
:We're men.
566
:We don't cry.
567
:We don't, do you know what you can hate?
568
:Yeah, this is the Gen X era here.
569
:So you know what FAFO
you're gonna find out.
570
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: I love that.
571
:I love that.
572
:And it's such, is it not a super
relief to you when you let down
573
:those guards, it's like, it must
be like taking off a suit of armor.
574
:Aaron Gikbert: It literally,
these are the, think of it like a
575
:balloon, giant air, hot air balloon.
576
:You've got all of these weights that
are sitting on you that you don't
577
:even know are holding you down.
578
:And as you start to release each one,
you're getting lighter and lighter.
579
:And when you release the
weight, a lot of all that's
580
:when your balloon starts to fly.
581
:And that's when new opportunities,
it's exactly what's happened
582
:for me doing what I've doing.
583
:Three and a half years.
584
:It's been a phenomenal growth.
585
:And it's just from being
authentic, genuine, and showing
586
:up for people with support, not
looking for anything in return.
587
:No.
588
:It's just to be kind onto another soul
589
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
And I can confirm that totally.
590
:'cause you don't go asking for anything.
591
:And that, that in itself is something
special when you I'm very analytical.
592
:I always have been.
593
:I like to know how and why things work.
594
:Aaron Gikbert: I love that.
595
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: And just
it's what does that work that way?
596
:Oh, okay.
597
:And for me, I think it's it's so
fascinating to see the difference in
598
:those that really are genuine and that
give, and give, and how they are genuinely
599
:perceived because for so long, so much
that we get bombarded with tells us that.
600
:Yeah no.
601
:The good get the good, get pushed to
the side and the wrong wins because
602
:it's got more money or blah, blah, blah.
603
:I don't believe that.
604
:I don't believe it because I
see, okay, all of those who
605
:are real and who are living.
606
:Their truth.
607
:And I think that's the difference.
608
:Okay.
609
:It's one thing to be real and to put
yourself out there genuinely, but if you
610
:are not living your truth, if you are
simply wearing it, there's a big divide
611
:there and there's a lot of people that
they just haven't got to the place.
612
:Where they are living their truth
they're still in the wearing
613
:it stage and hey, some of us.
614
:Aaron Gikbert: And that mindset.
615
:Yeah, it's that mindset.
616
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: It really is.
617
:And I know I've said for years, I'm
a very slow learner I'm one that
618
:came to the party relatively late.
619
:But the fact is I did get there.
620
:Aaron Gikbert: The fact
is that you're learning.
621
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yeah.
622
:Aaron Gikbert: Where most people
are just like, ah, whatever.
623
:Ignorance.
624
:There's a lot of ignorance out there.
625
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Oh my God.
626
:And there's so much to learn.
627
:There is, you dunno how anyone can
close themselves off from learning,
628
:every day I learn something.
629
:And quite often, I learn the
same thing over and over again.
630
:And that, if you don't take
the lesson the first few times,
631
:it gets a little more forward.
632
:But, all joking aside I think it's really,
it behooves you and your own inner joy.
633
:To try and improve yourself 1% a
day to try and, learn something new,
634
:do something new, go somewhere new,
just try it or just be conscientious
635
:Aaron Gikbert: of it.
636
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yeah.
637
:Yes.
638
:Aaron Gikbert: Just even being
conscientious of it works.
639
:That's still a step.
640
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yeah.
641
:Yeah.
642
:And that's something I think a
lot of people take for granted.
643
:You have to have gone through trauma
to come to the understanding that
644
:living in the moment is all you've got.
645
:It really is.
646
:It'll be great if the future is good.
647
:I'm not there yet, so I
don't have time for that.
648
:I have to be here because if we're
not here, we're missing this.
649
:And I think that's a crime
against yourself if you don't
650
:stay present in your own life.
651
:Aaron Gikbert: And in fairness though,
there is some that, depending on what
652
:there's some out there with mental illness
that they can't they're stuck in rot.
653
:They can't even get to that step.
654
:And that's where it, it comes
beneficial to start to surround
655
:yourself with people that, yes.
656
:In the words of my sister Nancy, Debra
Barrows seeing her loved and valued
657
:like that struck home huge for me.
658
:Oh yeah.
659
:When I first met her.
660
:And the power of that, that I carry
forward into this day and that
661
:the learnings I've taken from her
are applied to my world every day.
662
:It makes a world of difference.
663
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: But
she does live in those moments.
664
:We can't do it lives in those moments.
665
:Yeah.
666
:We can't do it all the time.
667
:It's not possible, but it's that,
it's your aspiration to do I
668
:think that matters more even than
being continuously able to do it.
669
:When we.
670
:When we actively go for joy and
happiness, it doesn't mean that
671
:every moment's going to be wonderful.
672
:There are still gonna be
ucky bits in our life.
673
:It just, it is, and a lot of it, I
think, has to do with being a human.
674
:Humans by nature are comparative,
so you can't really appreciate the
675
:good unless there's some yucky.
676
:You can go, okay.
677
:This is really good.
678
:And I think we, we have to take those
yucky bits with a grain of salt.
679
:And the most important thing
in my estimation is being
680
:able to laugh at yourself.
681
:Because if we take ourselves too
seriously then everything's like a chore.
682
:Yeah.
683
:You have to be able to laugh at yourself,
and that's, I think, a much better
684
:form of comedy than laughing at others.
685
:Aaron Gikbert: 100%.
686
:Yeah.
687
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: So
what's on the horizon for you?
688
:Aaron Gikbert: What's
on the horizon for me?
689
:I've gotta, oh I've gotta scramble
'cause, or I shouldn't say scramble.
690
:I've just gotta get I gotta get back
to scheduling the fall season for
691
:our fall guests, for Soul Man Live.
692
:It'll be the last half of season three,
and then we'll start looking at season
693
:four and starting to get the lineup ready
for all the new guests that are beco.
694
:They're gonna be coming onto the
show and it's everyday people.
695
:Sharing a little journey about their life.
696
:And if there's something there is a
great takeaway that will help you to
697
:make that change then my job is done.
698
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
That's wonderful.
699
:That is absolutely wonderful.
700
:I'm looking forward to hearing you
next season and, maybe taking a nap
701
:one Friday so that I can actually
make it to the show more than once.
702
:Aaron Gikbert: And you know what,
that's the thing about the show.
703
:There's, there is replay out
there if you wanna watch it.
704
:Your own leisure, that's,
it's a show up when you can.
705
:It's never any pressure to show up.
706
:If you wanna be there, you'll be there.
707
:And if you wanna watch it
later, then you watch it later.
708
:But we all have worlds to
live and lives to maintain.
709
:So just be you.
710
:That's the best thing you can do.
711
:Oh yeah.
712
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: But
sometimes it's just so nice to be.
713
:In the atmosphere that
goes on because it's
714
:Aaron Gikbert: a fun time.
715
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yeah.
716
:And you can't recreate that in a replay.
717
:It's not the same.
718
:True.
719
:Aaron Gikbert: It's true.
720
:I get you.
721
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: They're
still good, but it's just not the same.
722
:Aaron Gikbert: Safe space.
723
:Safe space,
724
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: yeah.
725
:Aaron Gikbert: Something we
didn't have in the eighties.
726
:No.
727
:You never even heard those words.
728
:If you were talking space in the
eighties, it was usually in, in
729
:regards to a spa shuttle launch.
730
:That was it.
731
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yeah.
732
:Yeah.
733
:It's true.
734
:It's true.
735
:Nobody, God, nobody had
their personal space.
736
:At all back then,
737
:so I wanna know.
738
:Because you, you are an absolute font of
wisdom and because I enjoy talking to you.
739
:What would you suggest to our audience
as a little tip, a tweak, something
740
:that you use on a regular basis to, to
either keep you grounded or keep you
741
:going, or bring that joy into your life?
742
:Any little.
743
:Little tip that you use.
744
:Aaron Gikbert: So I have a thing
it's called, we take them all the
745
:time, but we just forget the other
half, which is a mental health break.
746
:A mental health break is what I
started to refer to my little breaks
747
:as it was a moment to go back and not
only rest physically sitting down,
748
:but also give my mind a break from
the adversities going on a workday.
749
:So if you have something that really
speaks volumes to you, for me, when I was
750
:homeless and I was fighting through to
get myself forward again, it was my son.
751
:That was my deep core.
752
:That's what I refer to as my Phoenix fire.
753
:That's why Phoenixes are a
big part of my show as well.
754
:Yeah.
755
:Which is again, what is
it, what is in your core?
756
:What is gonna drive you forward?
757
:Some of, some people out there
don't have a child to drive
758
:them forward in that aspect.
759
:Yeah.
760
:So where do they go to That is when the.
761
:The big thing that I want to always
encourage is, one, reflect that you
762
:have the ability to do this change.
763
:It's not gonna be an easy change, but the
one thing that's gonna be the catalyst
764
:that makes that change is reaching out.
765
:It is gonna be the hardest thing that you
ever do, but it'll also be the biggest
766
:reward that your life has ever seen, and
it's exactly what has happened for me.
767
:I am living proof of that.
768
:I'm grateful for it every day.
769
:I'm grateful for all the bad things
because we, that's how we learn.
770
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Absolutely.
771
:Absolutely.
772
:I know someone was talking the other
day about if you had your life to
773
:live over, what would you change?
774
:Aaron Gikbert: Not a damn thing.
775
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
Exactly my answer.
776
:Yeah, because we wouldn't
be the people we are now.
777
:Exactly.
778
:And I think these two are pretty decent.
779
:I have I'm going to say I've taken
enough of your time for today.
780
:Aaron Gikbert: We make
that time for everybody.
781
:You've never taken up too much of my time.
782
:Oh,
783
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: I'm
only sorry that I can't hug you.
784
:Aaron Gikbert: It really hugs.
785
:Anyways, I'm gonna go
right through the screen.
786
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna:
You give great hugs.
787
:You give great hugs.
788
:You really do.
789
:I prefer you without
the clown hair though.
790
:Aaron Gikbert: That's my mad Hatter hat.
791
:That's when I'm doing voice your vibe.
792
:When I'm producing for voice Your vibe.
793
:It was a thing that I started
with them because they, I love
794
:to just throw my family off right
when they're trying to focus.
795
:Yeah.
796
:And sometimes their focus would be off.
797
:And so to counter that, I would blow
their focus and they would get refocus.
798
:Love you, Brian and Nancy.
799
:Thanks for putting up.
800
:Elaine The Dark Pollyanna: Yes,
I love you too, Brian and Nancy.
801
:And I've seen it where
your voice, your vibe.
802
:You popped in with that Lovely.
803
:Hair hat
804
:and yeah the whole vibe changed,
which I think is absolutely wonderful.
805
:All of Aaron's information will
be below with the show notes and
806
:how you can get ahold of him and
everything to do with his podcasts.
807
:Notice I said with that s on the
end, I thank you for being here.
808
:I thank you for being a part of the
show, and as per usual, I say, please
809
:make the most of your today, every day.
810
:Thank you, Aaron, and we'll
see you all next time.
811
:Aaron Gikbert: Thank you,
812
:Voiceover: thank you for being
here for another inspiring episode
813
:of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.
814
:We appreciate you tuning in.
815
:Please subscribe and download on your
favorite service and check out SFS
816
:YouTube channel or Facebook community.
817
:If you have the chance to leave
a five star rating or review,
818
:it'd be greatly appreciated.
819
:Please refer this to a friend you
know who may benefit from the hope
820
:and inspiration from our guests.
821
:Suicide Zen Forgiveness was brought
to you by the following sponsors.
822
:TROOL social media, the digital
integration specialists.
823
:Let them get you rocking page
one in the search results.
824
:Canada's keynote, humorist, Judy Croon,
motivational speaker, comedian, author,
825
:and standup coach at Second City.
826
:Judy has been involved for over
a decade in the City Street
827
:Outreach program in Toronto.
828
:Do you have a story to share?
829
:Do you know someone you think
would be a great guests hero?
830
:Please go to SZF four two.com
831
:and for our American listeners,
that's s zf four two.com.
832
:Thank you for listening.
833
:Theme Song: Through the
pain we all together
834
:because you matter
