Episode 29

Journey to Resilience: Finding Light in Darkness

9 29

Journey to Resilience: Finding Light in Darkness

Trigger Warning: This episode contains candid discussion of suicide attempts, depression, and traumatic injury. Listener discretion advised.

Show Notes

Men aren’t supposed to cry—until the mask cracks and the gun’s in your mouth. Enter Dan Pelly, an Italian‑American “tough guy” who believed feelings were a liability… right up until depression left him face‑down on a Florida motel floor with a bottle of vodka and enough pills to light up a toxicology lab. Spoiler: he lived. Twice. In this episode Dan and Elaine dismantle the BS narrative that suicide is selfish and carve out a raw, honest roadmap back to light—one FN step at a time.

Episode: Finding Hope in Darkness with Dan Pelly

Length: 56 min

Host: Elaine Lindsay | Suicide Zen Forgiveness

Guest: Dan Pelly – Inspirational Speaker, “Suicide Warrior”

💥 What We Talk About:

  • Crushing male stereotypes & the deadly “be tough” myth
  • The 800‑lb gorilla of clinical depression
  • Surviving a high‑speed truck collision & a near‑fatal overdose
  • Parenting through trauma: step‑daughter’s TBI recovery
  • Turning poison into medicine with Nichiren Buddhism
  • Crafting a life mission: Never Give Up. Choose Life.

🔗 Connect with Dan:

  • LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/dan-pelly-suicide-warrior-survivor-2-attempts-582457b8
  • YouTube Shorts: @DanPelly (search "Dan Pelly Choose Life")
  • Email: danpellyspeaker@gmail.com

📞 If You’re in Crisis:

North America: Dial or text 988 – free, 24/7.

Elsewhere: Please reach out to your local suicide prevention or mental‑health hotline. #YouMatter

💬 Moved by this convo? Smash subscribe, drop five stars, and share—it might be the lifeline someone else didn’t know they needed. #ConverSAVEtions

Bio

Links & Socials




Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All website

©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.

https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/journey-to-resilience-finding-light-in-darkness

Elaine Lindsay

Explicit

Transcript
Speaker:

You Matter Song™: When moving

forward seems too much.

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When you feel totally out of touch,

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out the door,

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you find yourself.

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Curled on the floor.

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The thoughts swirl around

all jumbled and messed.

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Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?

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I have secrets I've never confessed,

haven't told the soul I am depressed.

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A gentle whisper through the pain.

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Remember Rainbows follow rain.

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Breathe deeply.

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Hold on tight.

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Your hope will return shining bright

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Embrace the now.

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' You're Not alone.

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Reach out.

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Let your strength be shown.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Hello, there it is.

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Very good to

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be back with you again today.

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I'm Elaine Lindsay.

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This is Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

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I am also The Dark Pollyanna.

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I bring to everything I do, a lot of

chaos and a boatload of compassion.

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And today I have a lovely guest.

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This is Dan Pelley.

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Hi there.

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Dan Pelly: Hi Elaine.

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Thank you for having me on.

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I really appreciate it.

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Well, thank

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: you very much

for coming to see us and offering to share

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your story because we firmly believe that

by sharing our stories, we lighten our

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burden and we help our audience to find

that hope that can help people go on.

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'cause it's critically important for us

to have these, what I call converSAVEtions

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. Because honestly, that's what we wanna do.

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We would like to save people

and reignite their hope.

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With that said, why don't you tell

us a little bit about you, Dan?

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Dan Pelly: Well, I'm Dan Pelley,

inspirational speaker, suicide warrior.

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I've been public since, 2016, had overcome

a lot of shame and guilt to get there.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah,

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Dan Pelly: it's a really tough

situation even for men the most.

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Because women suffer too, but the

men have this other edge that's gotta

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be the provider and don't be weak.

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And how I was raised, and

anyway, I got there after.

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And I, we can go into that a

little bit with some questions of

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what happened to me in the past.

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But now I'm talking public

for nine years and, it's all

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about dialogue, like you said.

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Very important.

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Loved the intro.

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The intro was very moving, very important.

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Inspiring someone, to

choose life over suicide.

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It's a very, suicide is very horrific.

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I always say my motto that I've come up

with, that when the people talk about

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cowardly and they talk about weak and

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: all

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Dan Pelly: that, I was, one of

the strongest guys raised Italian.

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I didn't suffer until late in life.

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I never suffered depression,

suicide ideation.

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So I was brought up to be tough

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Pull yourself up by the boot straps.

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Until things fall apart.

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And then you realize it doesn't

matter how strong you are, how big

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you are, it really didn't matter.

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So I got to the point where, you know,

knowing that this was going know, starting

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to occur in my life, I, I realized that.

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And as I've been doing this for

nine years, I says, you know,

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suicide is not a selfish act.

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It's actually a suffering act.

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And whether you are suffering within

minutes from getting , some shocking

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news, or within days of suicide

ideation, or within hours or seconds,

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and you know, these are the people

that are the most difficult to help.

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The ones that might walk into a home and

the wife has moved out with all the kids,

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whatever tragedy or someone loses a child

and their mind snaps and they just do it.

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And that's a suffering act too,

because it's happening within

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seconds and minutes of their life.

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Or it took me eight months to get

there of suicide ideation because I

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was fighting and fighting not to do it.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I'm gonna stop

you there for a second because that's

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really, really important what you said,

and I wanna be sure that I remind people,

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this is Men's Mental Health Month.

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It is.

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And basically, all of our shows this month

are men, because you're absolutely right.

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Easier is not the word I want to use,

but more women are more likely to tell

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someone they are feeling suicidal.

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They are more likely to talk about it.

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And to talk about a

possible attempt than men.

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And you are absolutely right.

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It's cultural.

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It is male.

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It is the way we were brought up.

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Men were strong.

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They were stoic.

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They were steadfast.

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They didn't show emotion.

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They didn't have emotion.

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They were supposed to be

the rock that we all rotated

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around.

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The family man was the person who

brought home the bacon, who looked

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after everyone in the family.

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He was that solid anchor that you

had at the middle of a family.

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You Matter Song™: Exactly.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

And, that's not true.

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It's so not true.

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Okay.

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Every single human has feelings.

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Animals have feelings.

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They even science has

come to the conclusion.

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Plants have feelings.

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Okay.

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It's the way it is.

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We are all made of energy.

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We all, I believe, we all feel,

I believe we all need to learn

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how to deal with our emotions.

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Because the funny thing is,

it's not something we're taught.

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We're not taught about emotions.

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We're not taught about feeling.

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We're not taught that most emotions

last from 10 to 90 seconds.

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That's it.

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And sometimes knowing that it's

gonna move on will give you a chance.

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But suicide, I believe, is a very

final answer to a temporary problem.

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Dan Pelly: That's a, a very big

statement, and it's been said many times.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, exactly.

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Dan Pelly: When you talk about

these feelings, it, it triggers me

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in a way, not in a bad way, but.

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And it reminds me of the moments

that my father was very strong.

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I mean, there's a good side to that.

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Yeah.

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I think men have a, men have a role,

women have certain, I love women, are now

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working because the government, you have

to have a two income household to survive.

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Yeah.

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And I don't envy women

that do pregnancies.

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It's like, whoa.

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It's like, I'm glad you

guys are doing that job.

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You know, and it's a wonderful thing

and it's just, I love the equality

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in that part of it because my mother

was always subservient and things

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that affected my relationships and

I've learned and things like that.

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But never will my father when I was

getting emotional, like I was sad or

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something was happening and I needed

to get some confirmation from him

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that, yeah, things are tough right

now, son, but I'm still proud of you.

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You know, it's something I cried

about for many years that he never

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actually said, I love you to my face.

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I never actually really put it out there.

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It's, tough, Hey, look it, he raised

11 kids, my father was a great guy.

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Wow.

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I got half brothers, half sisters, and,

he just, he took care of communities.

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He was a philanthropist

for charitable work.

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He instilled in me young, all the

wonderful memories after he get over

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the anger, there's a good side to

every parent, even the worst ones.

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Yeah.

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So there's things going on that we

have to respect, that they gave us

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life no matter if we liked them or not.

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You gotta respect they gave you life.

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But I wanted to say about when I saw

the at and t commercial years back

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before, way back where the guy gets

on the at t commercial and he puts his

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arm around his son and he pulls him

close and he goes, I love you, son.

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Yeah.

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I started crying fiercely because

I've always yearned for that.

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So now I'm taking on relationships.

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Some of them the wrong ones, maybe

they were good for long periods,

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said 12, 16 years, whatever.

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Yeah.

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I was seeking out the imago image of

my father trying to get the affection

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and love that I wanted from him.

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And instead I'm going with women a little

bit on the cold un affect side, trying

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to win that for something my father did.

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And it's not their fault.

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Your model women and all these things

and, and I've learned a lot about it.

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And as you said, you gotta be very

careful about your partnerships

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no matter who you're with.

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Whoever your partner is, that you're not

trying to heal something through them.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: No.

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Dan Pelly: And that was

a big lesson for me.

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So when people say you've been married

three times, you're a three time loser.

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I said, no, no, no.

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I'm a three time winner.

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'Cause I learned.

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I learned a lot about relationship.

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The first, most childhood

sweet had, I don't count it.

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Second, it was still 14 years.

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Second one was a good for 14 years.

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Again, my last one was 18 years.

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So I've been around,

that and in relationship.

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And then I said, it's time to

find Dan after my divorce in 16

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and , really raise my life condition

and really challenge myself to

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do videos and be alone for a bit.

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Have that standalone spirit and I'm

not that ordained and I have fun.

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It's just like I'm concentrating on

my real estate business to, and not

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eventually the go totally at the,

speaking from my third chapter of

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my life and making these videos and

really staying in rhythm the past nine

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years and getting better and better

at it to really be due diligent when

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I'm talking on my videos about how

to stay determined to choose life.

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And don't give up here.

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I'm lucky, I'm still here.

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Yeah, after my two attempts, I

am lucky that I'm still alive.

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And I'll speak about when, way back

in the eighties when I was driving

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tractor trailer, I almost got killed.

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You were talking about a car

accident with me off tape.

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I was driving tractor trailer for

seven years in my twenties and

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that wasn't suicidal or nothing,

but I fell asleep at the wheel.

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After sleeping five hours,

I hit a bridge abutment.

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It's 70 miles an hour.

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Ah.

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And if you saw the pitcher, it

looks like a tomato can split open.

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They couldn't.

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The sleeper was crushed and was a

flat, so the nose track, it was a flat

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hauling, a big load for TJ Max closed

at the time from Boston to Cincinnati.

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Tough doing my thing.

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I was divorced.

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I was like, yeah, I was happy.

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I was doing what I had to do

and I should have been dead.

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And if I got killed in that accident,

which I wasn't suicidal at all, I

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wasn't even thinking about depression.

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I was a very happy guy.

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And I was doing two runs a week, pushing

a little harder than I wanted to.

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And that's probably what cost me

going back to sleep after I stopped

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three o'clock in the morning.

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Huge huge highways in Ohio.

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Cops heard the impact a mile away.

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Of course, they were at the donut shop

and they heard at 3:00 AM and his partner

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tells me the story 'cause they both

brought me, they got me the ambulance

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and the hospital and they both brought

me, they come up to the truck accident

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because they got the call after they

heard the impact, they could hear it.

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We thought it was a bomb.

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Yeah, if I didn't turn the wheel at

the last second, they say I ripped

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up a hundred yards of guard rail.

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I was working out a lot, lifting.

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I was doing security at shows,

at concerts, at Foxborough.

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Had a buddy, he said, come

on, let's do security.

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Back then, we were just doing it.

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So I was very strong and I turned that

wheel as hot as I could and I hit impact.

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They found me 20 feet up the road

holding my head, turning in a

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circle in the breakdown lane, like

I got thrown out like Superman.

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Wow.

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If people saw this truck, I showed

people the truck, they're like, you're

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definitely like a cluster of blessings in

your life because how'd you survive that?

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The cop couldn't believe it.

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When he come up to the truck, he

goes, I don't see the guy in here

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said There was about three or

four feet left in my driver's side

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and the engine was on the ground.

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The thing was totally split.

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Wow.

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And crushed.

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And the cop said to his buddy

on the ground, I don't see

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any blood in the sleeper.

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What's going on?

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I dunno where this guy is.

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I don't see any blood around.

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He goes, shine the spotlight.

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Up the road.

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Yeah.

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He says,

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he shoots it up the road.

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He looked at his partner, he goes, I

can't believe this guy's still alive.

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50 stitches in my head, five broken ribs.

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I got out easy.

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Yeah, I should have been dead five days

in the six days, seven days of hospital

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to get the ribs back to breathe again.

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Yeah.

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The best part of the story.

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I never drove truck again.

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That's for sure, because I get stuck,

I see a truck coming after they put

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me in a wheelchair to the airport

and I was like, post-traumatic.

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Yeah.

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I get on the plane, guy gives, sees me,

he says, what the hell happened to you?

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I'm in the wheelchair, all wrapped up and

band up and I have to come back to Boston.

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And he goes, I told him I had

a, real bad truck accident.

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He goes, here, take my seat.

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He gives me his first class seat.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh,

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Dan Pelly: wow.

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And I'm like, wow.

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What a nice guy.

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He goes back to my third class

seat, I sit down, there's a

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blonde looking out the window.

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I'm like, oh, maybe I'll

get a date out of this.

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So I'm laughing.

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She turns around.

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It's Barbara Eden from my dream of Jeanie.

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Wow.

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She's like early forties.

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I'm like late twenties.

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I, she, she turned around.

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I went, Barbara.

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I couldn't believe it.

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And it was like, she's beautiful.

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We're just sitting there looking at her

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: What a gift.

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Dan Pelly: I said, like me and like the

other men, we all had a crush on you.

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She start laughing.

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I go, where's your bottle?

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I need to make a wish.

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She goes, oh, I'm sorry.

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It's in Chicago.

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And then she's asking me what's going on?

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We had the conversation

all the way back to Boston.

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My brother couldn't believe I met her.

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He was like, I don't believe you.

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I got him on the phone.

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I had a girlfriend at the time.

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He says, no, tell Pauline and you.

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I said, I'm telling you, I met her.

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I know he's coming up.

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You.

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Joke.

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He said, no, I don't believe him.

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I get to see him and my girlfriend

at the time and she comes walking

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out way over in the very over there.

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I'm like, Hey Barbara.

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I'm talking like she's my best friend.

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Hey Barbara.

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She comes over with a couple of people.

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She's got a little entourage.

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Hi Dan.

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Good to see you.

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So you on the plane?

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We talked.

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My brother, his mouth was like this.

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He couldn't believe it.

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So anyway, that was my story

and I didn't know, , I found

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this out six, seven years ago.

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Her only son died from a drug overdose

via, it might have been suicide.

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It was a bad situation with it.

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It was the only son.

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I was so sad to read it when I read it.

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Yeah.

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Because I met her and it was just such a,

but that was the end of my truck driving

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for, and I've been in real estate since.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I think

that's a very good transition.

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Absolutely.

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Dan Pelly: So ask me, shoot away.

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You asked me, yeah.

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Say from what's interesting.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's

interesting to me that you're definitely

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younger than me, but our, I don't know

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Dan Pelly: about that.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Our, our

generation and even my daughter is 51.

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She'll be 52 this year.

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And even like us as her parents.

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The men in our lives were

all taught the same thing.

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And it's not that your dad or my dad or

anyone else's dad True, wasn't a good

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dad because under the rules, if you

will, that they had for being a dad.

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My dad fulfilled all of them.

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And your dad had 11 kids.

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Like that's a whole, that's more

than a baseball team, right?

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Dan Pelly: Whole different world.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

It must be, there were two

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of us, myself and my sister.

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Mm-hmm.

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But my father brought my mom and I, and

my grandmother and my aunt to Canada.

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And, they used all the money they had to

bring my grandmother, my aunt with them.

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Oh.

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So we didn't get to bring our, our

furniture or anything like that.

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But money didn't matter.

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Family's what mattered.

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And all the

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Dan Pelly: Exactly.

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My dad was the same way.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Exactly.

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And all the, and back

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Dan Pelly: in the day, all the people

of the older days, money wasn't

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such a hot button all the time.

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Yeah.

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You wanted it.

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But doing hard work, getting

out, doing, social, being part of

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life was more important to them.

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Oh, yeah.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

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Dan Pelly: Today it's all, it's all

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: money stuff.

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Yeah.

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We, we were really poor when I was

little, but we didn't really know it.

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Dan Pelly: Parents I never knew

I was semi for, I never felt it.

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Yeah.

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Our,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: our, my

parents made sure that, that we were

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provided for and that was great.

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But the difference between how a man

should act and how a woman should act,

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it was basically set in stone and if

a man deviated from that or showed

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feelings, people would look at him weird.

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Like, it, it just was not the norm.

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And I firmly believe when we

know better, we do better.

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And in the last 20 years,

I just lost my dad.

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Oh.

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In March he was 92.

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Thank you.

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Dan Pelly: He, 20 years ago,

actually, oh four, my dad,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

we knew that he loved us.

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Dan Pelly: Me too.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: We, yeah.

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And we knew,

393

:

Dan Pelly: I knew he loved me inside.

394

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

395

:

I knew I could turn around.

396

:

I just

397

:

Dan Pelly: wanted him to

shake him and tell him say it.

398

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

399

:

Yeah.

400

:

It, because, because it, it wasn't

the dumb thing, but there were a

401

:

lot of things you didn't talk about.

402

:

Dan Pelly: Yeah.

403

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Okay.

404

:

If someone had a mental issue in your

family, you weren't allowed to talk

405

:

about that if perhaps somebody lost their

job or got fired or, or what have you.

406

:

Right.

407

:

You weren't allowed to talk about that.

408

:

One of my girlfriends in high school,

they had come to sleep over three of

409

:

my friends, and the next morning my

mother made my father at the table.

410

:

She said, look, you have

to talk to these girls.

411

:

My father was very shy and

quiet, and so he turned to the

412

:

girl beside him and he said, so.

413

:

What does your dad do?

414

:

And she said, I don't know.

415

:

He said, what do you mean you

don't know what your own dad does?

416

:

And I went to a parochial school.

417

:

I'm Catholic.

418

:

Okay, all girls school, these

were all girls from our school.

419

:

And she said my parents are divorced.

420

:

I don't know a lot about my dad.

421

:

That was it.

422

:

My poor father was mortified

that he'd upset us.

423

:

But one of the other girls, the

next time he tried to talk to her,

424

:

which was about a month later, she

couldn't tell him what her mother did

425

:

because her mother was in an asylum.

426

:

And I can remember after that when

my friends went home, my father

427

:

said to my mother, I will read my

newspaper and that's all I will

428

:

do when there are other kids here.

429

:

Because he didn't know how to react.

430

:

This had never happened and it was

all things you didn't talk about.

431

:

Dan Pelly: Oh yeah.

432

:

The whole dialogue thing wasn't there.

433

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God, no.

434

:

And now, especially when

435

:

Dan Pelly: it came to

any kind of feelings.

436

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

437

:

And now we're making a point of telling

our young people and the men in our lives.

438

:

Okay.

439

:

I want to know how you

feel because it matters.

440

:

Dan Pelly: Oh yeah.

441

:

How you feeling?

442

:

You okay?

443

:

You all right?

444

:

Yeah.

445

:

More than just the surface.

446

:

Absolutely.

447

:

I wanna know what Not your job.

448

:

I don't know all, all that.

449

:

No, I know about, I want to know

about how your heart's feeling.

450

:

How are things feeling?

451

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Exactly.

452

:

How's

453

:

Dan Pelly: your mind, how's your heart?

454

:

Yeah.

455

:

So I, I look at this when I, when you're

talking that it kind of brings up thought,

456

:

obviously we're having this, like you

said, converse saves people station.

457

:

Yeah.

458

:

Dialogue.

459

:

And No, I have, I have a biological son.

460

:

I, I have a stepson, I have grandkids.

461

:

Nice.

462

:

So what I've done with my stepsons,

I've raised them since they were

463

:

seven, five, and two, very young.

464

:

I took on another family after

my first attempt in,:

465

:

By 2000 I met another girl and she

had three kids and she was shocked

466

:

that I even took on three kids.

467

:

Wow.

468

:

And I told her I'm ready

for another family.

469

:

They took to me and I raised them

and everything was great to a point.

470

:

And then my stepdaughter almost got

killed in a car accident at oh seven.

471

:

She was 16.

472

:

Oh, I'm so

473

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: sorry.

474

:

Dan Pelly: And she stuff suffers with

a TBI and she inspires me because

475

:

of her strength and who she is.

476

:

And to see her and talk with her, yeah.

477

:

She didn't go to Harvard.

478

:

Like she was gonna get a

scholarship to Harvard.

479

:

And it's very smart kid.

480

:

The brothers used to get upset

with her 'cause she never studied

481

:

and she was getting A's and B's.

482

:

She would just look things

over quick and she knew.

483

:

So she was very smart and when

you suffer about things like

484

:

that you know they're gonna miss.

485

:

Yeah.

486

:

But uh, that triggered my second

attempt after we got back on

487

:

feed in 2010, 14 years later.

488

:

But anyway, raising them, we'll

get into that a little bit more.

489

:

But, raising these kids early on I

hugged, Joey, I love you JI love you dj.

490

:

I love you.

491

:

And they get all nervous 'cause they're

going to be tough little guys and

492

:

especially when they got to be teenagers

and then through went in the Marines.

493

:

My biological son's older, but when

you start hugging them when they're

494

:

older and they're not ready for it

yet, they're almost like, I know

495

:

you hugged me when I was little, but

don't do that now, don't do that.

496

:

I'm like, I grabbed Joe.

497

:

I grabbed him 'cause he

pulled away a little bit.

498

:

Come here.

499

:

I love you.

500

:

This is important.

501

:

And I'm diligent.

502

:

I look him right in the face

and I tell him I love you.

503

:

You need re reaffirm.

504

:

I'm Italian still, I'm like,

I got an attitude sometimes.

505

:

I told him, but it's a good one.

506

:

I said, you're not pulling away.

507

:

I want to hug you and tell you I love you.

508

:

Okay.

509

:

Okay.

510

:

He gets all nerve.

511

:

You'll be told I love

you till my last breath.

512

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

513

:

Because

514

:

Dan Pelly: I missed out on that.

515

:

And it gives you some strength and

reaffirmation that you're loved.

516

:

So it's something that men have

to get used to doing because

517

:

they say, oh, it's weak.

518

:

Or like when they said about weak,

like I said, about suicide and, and

519

:

I did come up with this motto that

suicide to me is not a selfish act.

520

:

It's a suffering act.

521

:

And I, I use this motto a lot

and I just, and I just feel it.

522

:

I feel it.

523

:

'cause when I think back on my

times in 96 to talk a little

524

:

bit about what happened to me.

525

:

Not to trigger anybody.

526

:

I don't get into the fine

details because Good.

527

:

Whether it's like pills, guns are hanging.

528

:

I don't want to get into, did this way and

that, and then and the pills I took, okay.

529

:

It happened.

530

:

Yeah.

531

:

Me, for like, women pills seems to be

the more gentle way for women, so they

532

:

might attempt more than men the record.

533

:

Yeah.

534

:

They attempt more than men and

they're less successful because

535

:

they, the meds don't work.

536

:

Whatever men, pills they're taking,

the men are much more successful

537

:

because of the behavior of the

guns, it's much more permanent,

538

:

so I don't want to do it that way.

539

:

But anyway, when it came to my suicide

ideation, divorce, loss of house, closed

540

:

the real estate office, I don't recommend

doing three major things at once.

541

:

Oh,

542

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: no.

543

:

Dan Pelly: All of this happened.

544

:

My brother said, you gotta

close it if you can't run it.

545

:

I couldn't get out of my own way.

546

:

I started getting depressed with

the first time at 39 years old.

547

:

I'm like, I told my brother I

can't get out of my own life.

548

:

I got 12 people working here.

549

:

I can't even run myself.

550

:

Nevermind run them.

551

:

Oh, he's like, you need to close.

552

:

Come with me.

553

:

You can live in Florida.

554

:

Strength support.

555

:

Lucky I had, I'm blessed, although I had

to change my profession from a three piece

556

:

suit because I went from truck driving

into a suit and do a real estate for

557

:

many years and business type of thing.

558

:

And now I have to go with my brother

in detail cars and get humble.

559

:

Now, he had a great detail shop, and

I'm not saying it's any different

560

:

from a three piece suit, great

business, but it was a big transition

561

:

for me to go back into odd labor.

562

:

So I get into his shop, I

don't want to talk to people.

563

:

He put me in the garage.

564

:

I said, don't make me get in.

565

:

I'm gonna talk.

566

:

You can see.

567

:

I didn't want to even look at

anybody, nevermind talk to anybody.

568

:

So I said, don't let

me, approach customers.

569

:

I don't want to deal

with setting people up.

570

:

Just keep me in the shop for a while.

571

:

And I'm just clean and throw up

out of back seats and I'm getting

572

:

more depressed and it's not his

fault and it's getting worse.

573

:

And the three major things I drive

in my car, threw my accordion a way

574

:

that I used to play as a young man.

575

:

Everything in the bath water

when you want to be done.

576

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

577

:

Dan Pelly: And I'm like, I don't wanna

bring nothing, just pack my clothes.

578

:

And I drove.

579

:

Yeah.

580

:

Now I'm in 96 down there and

we're talking, I don't know,

581

:

that's gotta be getting up there.

582

:

I keep adding up the years.

583

:

Hold on.

584

:

It's, 29 years ago.

585

:

Yeah.

586

:

So I'm in this situation where I'm

starting to really get depressed.

587

:

Now.

588

:

It's getting worse.

589

:

And this is going on from May

of 96 all the way to November.

590

:

Wow.

591

:

But it's built up into May.

592

:

It was already depressed when I got there.

593

:

So May, June, July, August, six

months, it starts getting worse

594

:

and worse through May, June.

595

:

Now you get quiet.

596

:

I start getting secretive that

I want to do something drastic.

597

:

I'm not telling my brother,

I'm not telling anybody.

598

:

I just tell him I need help.

599

:

So back then, 30 years ago, you weren't

getting therapy as quick, but I did

600

:

go talk to a counselor and he told my

brother, you need to watch out for him.

601

:

You know, things are happening

for him and, and everything.

602

:

So try to, you know, really

compress it 'cause there's so much.

603

:

But as it went on with the suicide

ideation, it got worse and worse.

604

:

Now I didn't realize I was

getting clinically depressed.

605

:

That's all I thought about was the ending.

606

:

That's all that kept coming in my mind.

607

:

Vodka pills, put 'em in the trunk for

four months, drive up and down the highway

608

:

thinking about it constantly every day.

609

:

I don't want to be here no more.

610

:

I've lost everything.

611

:

I, all this pain and suffering.

612

:

Now some people I say this would

think, okay, you lost everything.

613

:

A lot of people lose everything,

but they don't go down that road.

614

:

Like I got a brother that says, I don't

think I get down that road even depressed.

615

:

And I've been depressed.

616

:

I said, some people are

not made up certain ways.

617

:

Nope.

618

:

No.

619

:

And they might never go down that

road and they could lose everything.

620

:

But something that lost to you could

be small, is significant to you, might

621

:

be insignificant to someone else.

622

:

So you really can't judge what's

bringing them into the suffering.

623

:

Yeah.

624

:

Or they can't pull out of it, or

they're not getting the right help or

625

:

the right man or the right therapist.

626

:

So I go on worse and

worse as July, August hit.

627

:

Now I'm thinking about what hotel?

628

:

Let me find the place,

let me pick something.

629

:

Coming down, delivering cars for my

brother after they're done detailed.

630

:

So I pick a hotel finally November.

631

:

It's getting worse and worse.

632

:

I'm on a little Zoloft and

didn't have enough time to kick

633

:

in at the time in November.

634

:

You need good eight weeks, you know,

to really feel something changing

635

:

and level you off a little bit.

636

:

But anyway, I hit the October area and.

637

:

And that was it.

638

:

I was getting more anxious to do it.

639

:

Like I, I just said, I

don't wanna live no more.

640

:

It's like people don't realize

the pain can happen, like I

641

:

said, in seconds and minutes.

642

:

But the pain is like an 800

pound gorilla on my back.

643

:

I talked about in my video and

it's like, man, I'm a tough guy.

644

:

I should be able to handle this.

645

:

And it's like, it had

nothing to do with it.

646

:

I became weak and free.

647

:

I became, I couldn't lift anything.

648

:

The depression took over so bad that

I was just, I was a walking mummy.

649

:

And the day came on November 29th that

I pulled into that hotel and I get in

650

:

that room and I'm looking at what I'm

gonna take and then, and I'm like,

651

:

I can't believe I'm gonna do this.

652

:

And I look at the corner of the room and

I see it all little dirty, little corner.

653

:

I'm staring at.

654

:

And I said, this is it, Dan.

655

:

This is where you're gonna end it.

656

:

And the shame and the guilt and the note.

657

:

And the note writing.

658

:

And, and I don't know if you, you

had suicide, suicide ideation.

659

:

If you had an attempt.

660

:

We haven't talked about that.

661

:

If you had attempts and survived and put,

and I agonized for nine hours that night.

662

:

Wow.

663

:

And I finally made the move, and I

finally, after writing notes, I'm

664

:

sorry, it's not because I'm, I'm weak.

665

:

I have so much pain going

on in my heart, in my head.

666

:

I can't stop it.

667

:

It won't stop.

668

:

It's like a, a runaway train.

669

:

And it's not like I want to leave

you or my son or all these notes.

670

:

I got the notes still that the

next book I'm gonna be involved.

671

:

And we talked about incorporating

into my own book, these notes.

672

:

Yeah.

673

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

674

:

Just

675

:

Dan Pelly: show people what

you're writing and how.

676

:

Your mind is where, like you said, it's

a permanent solution to a temporary

677

:

problem that you could pull out of this.

678

:

Maybe whether it's a quick suicide

attempt or it takes months and I ingested

679

:

in a lot and I'm lucky I made it.

680

:

Yeah.

681

:

And I woke up 3:00 AM looking green and

purple from the, Tylenol stuff, whatever.

682

:

I don't like to talk about all the in

ins and outs of it, but I took a, an a

683

:

massive amount and I woke up again at 6:00

AM I said, shit, I can't even do this.

684

:

Right.

685

:

And I called my

sister-in-law, she's a nurse.

686

:

Where are you?

687

:

We're so worried about you.

688

:

You haven't checked in.

689

:

I said, I'm, I'm in a hotel.

690

:

I did something drastic and I, I

can't even believe I'm still alive.

691

:

Oh my God.

692

:

There you gotta come

here, get to the house.

693

:

Can you drive?

694

:

I don't know.

695

:

I drove.

696

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, so

697

:

Dan Pelly: chemically imbalance,

it was like, I don't know

698

:

how I drove and I got there.

699

:

Nobody was there at the time.

700

:

She was still working.

701

:

Like, I'll come as soon as you get there.

702

:

I go on the couch, I just lay down

and I thought I was gonna still die.

703

:

The chemical, the Len,

whatever, was kicking in.

704

:

And she looked at me and

she's like, let's go.

705

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

706

:

Dan Pelly: Got me to the IC unit.

707

:

Doctor sees me in the waiting room.

708

:

What's going on, Danny?

709

:

He says, I, I see here on the, on

the intake, you try to kill yourself.

710

:

Look, we're trying to

save people's lives here.

711

:

When you, you trying to kill

yourself, he goes, what did you do?

712

:

Told him the massive amount I took.

713

:

He's like, you did what?

714

:

He's like, you took that much.

715

:

I said, I'm surprised

I'm even talking to you.

716

:

Kids can take a few of those and be gone.

717

:

He goes, you know we're gonna

try to save your life there.

718

:

He said, but, uh, you might have

accomplished what you want to accomplish.

719

:

I'm looking at 'em going, why?

720

:

I'm still alive.

721

:

He goes, the problem is with the

Tylenol, which you did, it takes 24

722

:

to 48 hours to affect your organs.

723

:

Your kidney.

724

:

Your liver.

725

:

Now I'm dying over and

over as he's talking to me.

726

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

727

:

Dan Pelly: And I like doc.

728

:

Now it all switched when we had the

conversation like, I don't want die.

729

:

He's like, well, you might have

accomplished what you want to accomplish.

730

:

He said, get me an ic.

731

:

You're taking my blood

levels every four hours.

732

:

The problem with this,

I got the general Dr.

733

:

McCarthy, I got a DR for the liver doctor.

734

:

I got Dr.

735

:

Clark or whatever he was, he

looked like Lurch from me.

736

:

Adams family.

737

:

He was that tall.

738

:

He was like six eight.

739

:

Wow.

740

:

He's the liver doctor.

741

:

So I got all these people as a team on me.

742

:

McCarthy was an old Vietnam vet doctor.

743

:

Really caring, really wanted me

to survive and really helping me.

744

:

And, they got me in ic.

745

:

Now the levels, he goes, the problem with

the levels, when they go up and down,

746

:

they'll do this for, so when they go up

and stay up there, then we got problems.

747

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

748

:

Dan Pelly: So the first 24 hours

I'm starting to hallucinate

749

:

from the amount I took.

750

:

Oh, yeah.

751

:

Things were happening a lot.

752

:

I thought it was after a night and a

half, they're like, damn, the levels are

753

:

staying up and we're sorry to report this

to you, but your organs are probably gonna

754

:

break down and you're probably gonna die.

755

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Wow.

756

:

Dan Pelly: So I'm dying again and again.

757

:

And I'm crying.

758

:

I'm like, I don't want to die now.

759

:

And they're like we're trying to help you.

760

:

Liver doctor makes me sign.

761

:

No, the kidney doctor, they

do the dialysis machine.

762

:

Oh yeah.

763

:

I one at this hospital.

764

:

Not the first night.

765

:

You're gonna try to do dialysis.

766

:

They clean your kidneys out.

767

:

They take the machine away at

2:00 AM I see it outside my door.

768

:

I'm like, what the hell you doing?

769

:

I thought you were coming in my room.

770

:

She comes in the room, you

know what she says to me?

771

:

Because unfortunately then we only

have one machine, but anybody that's

772

:

a drug addict or a suicide attempt

person, they come second and third.

773

:

I'm sorry, there's the gentleman

that comes in and needs it.

774

:

He's not a drug addict

or he is not suicidal.

775

:

So now I'm Vic going,

I can't even get help.

776

:

So they finally gimme the dialysis

machine the next day, all that, and

777

:

he says, you know, the levels are

still up and then they're staying up.

778

:

But we, we got a really serious point.

779

:

You should call your mom, your parents,

you should call your family then.

780

:

So my brother's like,

maybe we should hold off.

781

:

I said, yeah, I don't want

to make them panic, man.

782

:

I'm gonna go, I don't know if

they're gonna get here in time.

783

:

And it just was my

brother was right with me.

784

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

785

:

So

786

:

Dan Pelly: anyway, the liver doctor

comes in after he goes, damn, the

787

:

problem is you took some extra strength

with that massive amount you took.

788

:

That's a real problem on your liver.

789

:

I'm gonna call Gainesville and

see if I can get you a liver

790

:

transplant if you go back.

791

:

Okay.

792

:

He comes in the next morning, he

goes, I talked to Gainesville.

793

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: No,

794

:

Dan Pelly: no liver transplant.

795

:

I'm like, why?

796

:

He goes, drug addicts and suicide attempt.

797

:

I'm not in line for, I am signing all

these forms, like I'm signing my life away

798

:

every time I do dialysis and all that.

799

:

So now I hit that night I really started

losing, I thought I died that night.

800

:

Like you talked about your,

you've experienced a death moment.

801

:

Yeah, I felt like I died that night.

802

:

Long story short on that part, 'cause

it was a horrific three days, you

803

:

know, there's so much going on and,

so the third day on a Sunday morning,

804

:

I wake up after a horrific night.

805

:

I could have sworn I died and I wake

up, it's like 7:00 AM and I think they

806

:

said, and they were all standing over me.

807

:

McCarthy made a clock.

808

:

Two head nurses, they were all

looking at me in amazement, miracle.

809

:

They're like, we can't explain

to you, Dan, what happened, but

810

:

the last two levels we took of

you, your levels are normal and

811

:

we've never seen anything like it.

812

:

Wow.

813

:

From the amount you took,

your levels are normal.

814

:

And I'm like, I, I could have sworn

I was dead when I was looking at them

815

:

and they're like, you're gonna make it.

816

:

We don't know if you're

gonna have any complications.

817

:

But once they stay down

like this, they're down.

818

:

Yeah.

819

:

I calling my God, I'm like, oh.

820

:

I'm like, this is just blessing.

821

:

And I'm like, never again.

822

:

Don't ever say never again.

823

:

When it comes to the Depression of

suicide, I looked out the window with

824

:

that third floor hospital in Florida.

825

:

I'm like, never again.

826

:

I walked out of there, got

therapy, I got on medication, made

827

:

sure I was keeping myself safe.

828

:

Yeah.

829

:

You don't feel your feelings

as much when you are on meds.

830

:

No, I recommend them to keep you safe.

831

:

And if you need them for a long

period, then that's the way it is.

832

:

Yeah.

833

:

I've been med free since

:

834

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: good.

835

:

Dan Pelly: And I just felt like I

needed to do it in my Buddhist practice.

836

:

I do.

837

:

I know you have the zen

and, and the Buddhist thing.

838

:

And I'm a practicing Buddhist now.

839

:

I'm not a Catholic anymore for 17

years, so I chant the Mon Mont.

840

:

It has raised my life condition,

but I was battling a lot of devilish

841

:

functions in the early, early old eight

after Justine's accident in oh seven.

842

:

And I, as I was practicing, I was

fighting off a lot of negative energy.

843

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

844

:

And I

845

:

Dan Pelly: still had an attempt and,

and that, you know, so when I walked

846

:

outta the hospital, I got better.

847

:

A year later I was still on

meds, but I said, I'm gonna

848

:

go back to Boston for my son.

849

:

And I started another life.

850

:

I said, I'm at, in my

mother's basement for a year.

851

:

I said, I'm gonna go to Bunker

Hill Community College of Boston.

852

:

I never been to college.

853

:

I'm gonna take a psychology

course 'cause I need it.

854

:

So I get in there and I went in there,

I took two buses to get there every day.

855

:

I put my head down and I stayed humble.

856

:

And I met my second wife there.

857

:

My third wife actually.

858

:

'cause the childhood one I never taught.

859

:

I always say I was married

twice because it was there.

860

:

But anyway, I met her at Bunker

Hill doing a nursing program with

861

:

the three step kids in 2000 in 99.

862

:

And, and that's how I met her.

863

:

And, and I met the three kids.

864

:

So, you know, everything was good.

865

:

Again, I was back on my feet and I didn't

feel bad and I say happy, met a girl.

866

:

So I took on a new life started,

I opened up another real estate

867

:

office and things took off, raising

the kids, everything was good.

868

:

We bought a house in 2002, a big house.

869

:

And, everything was great.

870

:

And then my dad and my brother

died a month after my dad

871

:

in oh four years, only 53.

872

:

So we were back at the same funeral home.

873

:

But my mother.

874

:

Leaving her love of her

life and her firstborn.

875

:

My brother Frankie.

876

:

Oh

877

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: my

878

:

Dan Pelly: God, was just horrific.

879

:

So my, of course, my step kids

knew of 'em and they cried with me.

880

:

And just an oh four tough time,

two years in the house, boom.

881

:

We had, we had that happen

more towards me than them.

882

:

Yeah.

883

:

And of course, Justine turns 16,

she gets in the wrong car and

884

:

the kid wraps it around a tree.

885

:

Get a call at 2:00 AM the, I

never saw her mother suffer.

886

:

Like I saw this mother suffering.

887

:

I mean, the suffering in, saving her life,

48 days in IC had to open her head up.

888

:

We leave the pressure, took a

TBI, you know, you'd see her.

889

:

Now she's 34.

890

:

You would never know.

891

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh, that's

892

:

Dan Pelly: good.

893

:

Until you talk to her.

894

:

She'll repeat going to Harvard.

895

:

Her short term memory's not there.

896

:

Like you asked her what she had two

hours ago to eat, she can't tell you.

897

:

And, you know, things like that.

898

:

But it really rocked us.

899

:

You rocked our family, the

two boys and my whole family.

900

:

The mother was a captain.

901

:

I was with her every day.

902

:

My father showed me how to be there

for people and even your loved ones.

903

:

And I, every day I was in that IC unit,

she couldn't walk, talk, or move or eat.

904

:

Had to learn it all again.

905

:

And having, you know, seeing her talk

for the first time after 20 something

906

:

days, I was going in the room and I

just seen, I here she'd look at you,

907

:

she'd acknowledge you and all that told

us she was a fighter and we're gonna

908

:

see you through this and all that.

909

:

But they had to put her

legs in cast and all that.

910

:

Yeah.

911

:

She took the worst out of the five kids.

912

:

The other kids had broken ankles

backs, but she took the worst.

913

:

She almost died, you know,

that to get her head opened up

914

:

was the most horrific thing.

915

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.

916

:

So,

917

:

Dan Pelly: yeah, walking through all

this, so of course I'm being strong.

918

:

I gotta be here for this kid.

919

:

Oh 7 0 8, finally six months of rehab.

920

:

I, I see a victory.

921

:

The mother happened to go

home with the two boys.

922

:

She hasn't talked in 20 something days.

923

:

I go in the room and,

and she said something.

924

:

I said, what did you say?

925

:

And I got close to it the month and

she goes, mom, I'm like, oh my God,

926

:

you're thinking you're speaking.

927

:

I said, let me call your mother.

928

:

So I called Li.

929

:

I called the mother.

930

:

I put the phone.

931

:

I said, Linda, is you sitting down?

932

:

She goes, why?

933

:

What's going on?

934

:

I says, it's good, it's good.

935

:

Sit down.

936

:

I put the phone up to Justine

and she went, mom, she was

937

:

crying on the other end.

938

:

Victory blessing.

939

:

She's Christian.

940

:

So she's praying and

she's like, oh my God.

941

:

I was peeling her off the

floor in the ICU in many days.

942

:

No one knows this kind of

suffering until you go through it.

943

:

And you don't want to go through

anything like this, but you really

944

:

don't know until you're there.

945

:

You sympathize with people,

you have compassion.

946

:

Like when I do my things about suicide,

people see it like, yeah, that's good

947

:

inspiration, but I'm gonna move on

to the next thing that entertains me.

948

:

Yeah, because it's not really

effective and it's not their fault.

949

:

But we need to, like we do

in this more awareness thing.

950

:

Anyway, jump forward.

951

:

Second attempt comes, I started

practicing Buddhism in a way

952

:

'cause I was struggling so bad.

953

:

What happened to her, right?

954

:

Oh,

955

:

I come to, six months of rehab

and, and getting her through the IC

956

:

and walking again and making sure

she could eat again in the swallow

957

:

test and successfully doing that.

958

:

Yeah.

959

:

All these little victory of one

step forward, three steps back.

960

:

Wow.

961

:

It's all that was going on for me.

962

:

And the, and the wife at the time.

963

:

It was just the worst thing anybody

could go through outside of losing her.

964

:

Losing her would've been the worst.

965

:

So anyway, we get her out on her feet,

get her home after eight, nine months.

966

:

She hasn't been home.

967

:

She's been in rehab seven months.

968

:

Wow.

969

:

It was a big, long hallway.

970

:

Excuse me.

971

:

It was a big long hallway at this Kennedy.

972

:

It used to be, it was

the Franciscan hospital.

973

:

It happens to be right across the street

from the high school I graduated from.

974

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh wow.

975

:

Dan Pelly: So this gotta be

comma that I'm here for this kid.

976

:

It used to be the Kennedy Memorial

and I, and now it Franciscan.

977

:

I'm like, I can't believe

we're going there.

978

:

'cause we're coming out of the mid Midwest

of Massachusetts at UMass and, wor mass.

979

:

And people say, what's that?

980

:

Worcester, mass.

981

:

It's the second city in, Massachusetts.

982

:

Compared to Boston.

983

:

Six months there.

984

:

Anyway, we get a home now.

985

:

Everything's gotta be handicapped.

986

:

We, the mother, she's, she's, she

has to wear, depends and stuff

987

:

because there's a, a preliminary

gland that wasn't functioning right.

988

:

That she would pee and the doctor

said that might correct itself.

989

:

And we prayed that it did.

990

:

And it did correct itself.

991

:

Oh, good.

992

:

Which did need a.

993

:

And then the rehab.

994

:

She had a left broken hip at

the same time of the accident.

995

:

They were struggling with,

996

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: God,

997

:

Dan Pelly: we gotta do the hip

because she could die from that.

998

:

Yeah.

999

:

And we gotta deal with

this swelling of the brain.

:

00:42:24,826 --> 00:42:27,166

So we have multiple

things going on with it.

:

00:42:27,496 --> 00:42:29,716

We're gonna do the hip, we

gotta get this hip done.

:

00:42:30,586 --> 00:42:33,706

Imagine her being operated on

while she's got the head injury.

:

00:42:33,886 --> 00:42:34,336

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Oh my God.

:

00:42:35,356 --> 00:42:36,526

Dan Pelly: This is a strong kid.

:

00:42:36,526 --> 00:42:40,606

I mean, this has just been, yeah,

it's a moving, horrific story.

:

00:42:41,026 --> 00:42:41,986

Anyway, get it back on.

:

00:42:41,986 --> 00:42:45,256

If you've got a home, now it's rehab

and showing that we're not gonna

:

00:42:45,256 --> 00:42:49,176

say she's any, you have differences

going on, Justine, but we're gonna

:

00:42:49,176 --> 00:42:52,236

go out, me and you, and we're gonna

go to the Mothers Against Drunk

:

00:42:52,236 --> 00:42:53,766

Driving for what this kid did.

:

00:42:53,766 --> 00:42:55,836

And you're gonna come

with me and me and you.

:

00:42:56,016 --> 00:42:59,346

Oh, she get all nervous 'cause

it changes your kind of emotions.

:

00:42:59,766 --> 00:43:00,216

I don't wanna know.

:

00:43:01,296 --> 00:43:02,046

We're gonna do this.

:

00:43:02,046 --> 00:43:04,236

Me and you, your mother don't wanna

do it, but we're going to do it.

:

00:43:05,016 --> 00:43:08,796

So me and her went out and we were

speaking at colleges and show that

:

00:43:08,796 --> 00:43:10,656

what, what can happen to somebody?

:

00:43:10,656 --> 00:43:12,936

And she would speak,

don't get in a car drunk.

:

00:43:13,446 --> 00:43:17,061

Don't I made the big mistake, she would

speak up and I would guide her into

:

00:43:17,061 --> 00:43:23,391

the conversation like we doing Anyway,

come 10, I mean, I wrote a 32 page

:

00:43:23,631 --> 00:43:28,101

suicide prevention program in Bunker

Hill when I got my associates and

:

00:43:28,101 --> 00:43:35,761

ng for my associates and I in:

I wrote that about all the statistics

:

00:43:35,761 --> 00:43:37,531

and the suicide and everything.

:

00:43:38,401 --> 00:43:40,021

30 33 page program.

:

00:43:40,021 --> 00:43:41,131

I don't do anything with it.

:

00:43:41,941 --> 00:43:46,591

'cause I start another family and

now it jumps into now 10, she's

:

00:43:46,591 --> 00:43:49,261

back on her feet all of a sudden.

:

00:43:50,191 --> 00:43:52,261

Oh eight comes oh nine.

:

00:43:53,011 --> 00:43:54,121

Yeah, it was oh 8, 0 9.

:

00:43:54,121 --> 00:43:55,621

I start feeling depression again.

:

00:43:55,771 --> 00:43:57,541

'cause now we got her

on her feet somewhat.

:

00:43:57,541 --> 00:44:02,171

I, I've accomplished it and

uh, I get worse and worse.

:

00:44:03,356 --> 00:44:06,121

Now I'm taking at, I'm taking things

to go to sleep and blah, blah.

:

00:44:06,121 --> 00:44:06,776

I'm not right.

:

00:44:07,646 --> 00:44:08,906

And I'm feeling it come again.

:

00:44:09,086 --> 00:44:11,066

And I'm like, well, wait a

minute, I've already been here.

:

00:44:11,636 --> 00:44:11,726

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Mm-hmm.

:

00:44:11,966 --> 00:44:12,056

And

:

00:44:12,056 --> 00:44:16,646

Dan Pelly: it got worse and

worse by the time oh nine hit.

:

00:44:16,886 --> 00:44:19,916

And I'm still practicing telling my

members, wait, what's going on here?

:

00:44:20,276 --> 00:44:21,446

This is the comma you need.

:

00:44:21,446 --> 00:44:24,086

This is the, you're trying

to expedite bad comma down.

:

00:44:24,696 --> 00:44:27,126

Just because you're practicing

doesn't mean it's a magic pill.

:

00:44:27,696 --> 00:44:30,246

You keep chanting, keep doing

your thing, you'll get there.

:

00:44:30,726 --> 00:44:31,056

Okay.

:

00:44:31,056 --> 00:44:32,886

So I get worse and worse than nine.

:

00:44:34,086 --> 00:44:35,646

Now I start staying in bed.

:

00:44:35,706 --> 00:44:37,806

I stay in bed for almost a year.

:

00:44:38,616 --> 00:44:38,976

Wow.

:

00:44:39,606 --> 00:44:42,036

I don't wanna move an oh nine to 10.

:

00:44:42,036 --> 00:44:45,306

My wife's trying to pull me

out of bed, watch me eat.

:

00:44:46,206 --> 00:44:47,526

I'm hallucinating.

:

00:44:48,576 --> 00:44:50,256

I'm just seeing devilish energy.

:

00:44:50,256 --> 00:44:52,866

I just, just was so horrific

of what was going on with me.

:

00:44:52,866 --> 00:44:52,926

Yeah.

:

00:44:53,586 --> 00:44:57,096

And, and I was ashamed again

and was shameful again.

:

00:44:57,186 --> 00:44:59,781

I was like, the shame

and the guilt and the.

:

00:45:00,666 --> 00:45:02,736

So I take too much of the sleeping.

:

00:45:02,886 --> 00:45:07,296

They all leave one day and I do

it in 10, and I take too much.

:

00:45:08,166 --> 00:45:10,746

They come home and they

gotta call an ambulance.

:

00:45:10,746 --> 00:45:14,136

They're all panicking and I'm, I'm

putting this on the new family and I'm

:

00:45:14,136 --> 00:45:16,926

like, after Justine, I'm just mortified.

:

00:45:16,926 --> 00:45:20,266

Oh, they pump me, I pump

it out and all that.

:

00:45:20,266 --> 00:45:25,036

It wasn't as severe as my first attempt,

but enough that it could have killed me.

:

00:45:25,186 --> 00:45:25,696

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

:

00:45:25,696 --> 00:45:25,786

And

:

00:45:26,026 --> 00:45:27,166

Dan Pelly: I survived again.

:

00:45:27,166 --> 00:45:28,756

They put me on the fifth floor.

:

00:45:29,146 --> 00:45:31,876

I'm in there getting watched

because of what I did.

:

00:45:32,086 --> 00:45:34,816

Which you need to be watched when

you're in this kind of street.

:

00:45:35,536 --> 00:45:35,596

Yeah.

:

00:45:35,596 --> 00:45:39,376

I look up at the sign and it says

these people on this sign that have

:

00:45:39,376 --> 00:45:45,816

suffered with bipolar and depression,

I see Winston Churchill, I see Leo

:

00:45:45,816 --> 00:45:48,976

Toto, all these people that I knew of.

:

00:45:48,976 --> 00:45:51,026

And I'm like geez, I'm in good company.

:

00:45:52,026 --> 00:45:56,676

Anyway, I knew I had to get better

and, and not do this ever again.

:

00:45:57,366 --> 00:45:59,196

And I'm, I'm in there for five, six days.

:

00:45:59,196 --> 00:46:02,496

I'm reading my Buddhist material, doing

everything I gotta do and I'm struggling.

:

00:46:02,496 --> 00:46:06,186

I'm on now I'm on two or

three meds for all of 10.

:

00:46:06,666 --> 00:46:08,286

I'm on four to five meds.

:

00:46:08,286 --> 00:46:11,526

I'm on vilify, I'm on this, I'm

on that just to keep me from

:

00:46:11,526 --> 00:46:13,386

jumping or doing anything bad.

:

00:46:13,956 --> 00:46:15,216

I mean, I was a little numb.

:

00:46:15,216 --> 00:46:16,956

I can tell you you don't

feel your feelings, but I'll

:

00:46:16,956 --> 00:46:18,216

tell you, it kept me safe.

:

00:46:18,576 --> 00:46:18,786

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

:

00:46:18,876 --> 00:46:21,456

Dan Pelly: I wasn't thinking like,

oh, let's go do this again and

:

00:46:21,456 --> 00:46:22,866

let's do this, this, this, and this.

:

00:46:22,866 --> 00:46:24,096

And the suicide ideation.

:

00:46:24,606 --> 00:46:29,586

So basically I chanted mold more,

started raising my life condition.

:

00:46:29,646 --> 00:46:30,696

Things started changing.

:

00:46:31,116 --> 00:46:36,246

I made a determination that I want

to be offered of meds by:

:

00:46:36,996 --> 00:46:39,386

And and that was my chant, all of 11.

:

00:46:40,196 --> 00:46:45,046

And I started moving off the meds with my

psychiatrist and my, therapist got down

:

00:46:45,046 --> 00:46:47,596

to two meds, three meds, then two meds.

:

00:46:48,421 --> 00:46:49,621

That one med.

:

00:46:49,861 --> 00:46:52,291

By December of 11, I was med free.

:

00:46:52,891 --> 00:46:53,461

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Wow.

:

00:46:53,971 --> 00:46:55,921

Dan Pelly: And it changed

my whole perspective.

:

00:46:55,921 --> 00:46:57,961

And then like, I felt

more feelings of course.

:

00:46:57,961 --> 00:47:01,261

And I felt more energy and

things was working for me better.

:

00:47:01,771 --> 00:47:04,531

And then since then, you know,

I'm chanting, I'm doing everything

:

00:47:04,531 --> 00:47:06,451

and getting back to my business.

:

00:47:06,451 --> 00:47:09,541

And, you know, life's going pretty

good up to 16 and then we're not

:

00:47:09,541 --> 00:47:11,491

getting along and we get a divorce.

:

00:47:12,091 --> 00:47:13,351

So it gets worse and worse.

:

00:47:13,351 --> 00:47:15,121

But 16 years wonderful life.

:

00:47:15,121 --> 00:47:19,021

Justine's doing well, the mother's

doing well, so everybody's doing okay.

:

00:47:19,351 --> 00:47:20,401

And that's the main thing.

:

00:47:20,401 --> 00:47:23,101

But now I'm alone and I'm like,

when are you gonna, what are

:

00:47:23,101 --> 00:47:24,301

you gonna do with this program?

:

00:47:24,301 --> 00:47:28,881

Then, you, you deflated in 10 'cause

you never did it in:

:

00:47:28,881 --> 00:47:32,181

gonna bring it up, when you gonna

have the guts to do it there.

:

00:47:32,781 --> 00:47:35,961

Now I'm tanning from 12, I go

to a Florida Nature culture

:

00:47:35,961 --> 00:47:37,491

center at the Buddhist practice.

:

00:47:37,851 --> 00:47:41,751

They asked me to give my experience

in:

:

00:47:41,976 --> 00:47:44,616

So I told 'em I want to

bring it to the public.

:

00:47:44,616 --> 00:47:46,896

I want to give it, because they

all, damn, we love your experience.

:

00:47:46,896 --> 00:47:47,436

They come up.

:

00:47:47,436 --> 00:47:50,235

30 guys come up to me after

it was a men's conference.

:

00:47:50,745 --> 00:47:55,305

30 guys come up to me after telling

me about all this suicide attempt.

:

00:47:55,305 --> 00:47:59,145

People, their family, the son doing

what he did in front of the father.

:

00:47:59,595 --> 00:48:01,765

They tell, revealing all this stuff to me.

:

00:48:02,365 --> 00:48:06,295

So he says, I'm onto something, but

I don't do anything with it now.

:

00:48:06,295 --> 00:48:10,075

I'm just trying to work, keep my

life condition up, keep my business

:

00:48:10,075 --> 00:48:12,535

going, stay alive and all that.

:

00:48:12,535 --> 00:48:15,055

So now I'm really struggling in, 14.

:

00:48:15,055 --> 00:48:16,245

I'm I gotta do something with this.

:

00:48:16,245 --> 00:48:18,105

Nothing's happening for four years.

:

00:48:19,105 --> 00:48:23,665

Tampa, one night at 3:00 AM I woke up,

I was in my apartment by myself, my pup,

:

00:48:24,085 --> 00:48:25,935

and I'm i'm gonna do a video right now.

:

00:48:27,255 --> 00:48:29,925

So I did my first video in:

:

00:48:30,105 --> 00:48:32,205

It's a little rusty, but.

:

00:48:32,530 --> 00:48:32,951

That's okay.

:

00:48:33,595 --> 00:48:36,295

How you communicate on the screen

with people and how you could

:

00:48:36,295 --> 00:48:37,795

flow and talk and all that.

:

00:48:38,335 --> 00:48:40,495

You're my first video about never give up.

:

00:48:41,495 --> 00:48:41,735

Oh, that's good.

:

00:48:41,735 --> 00:48:43,565

And I've been doing it for nine years now.

:

00:48:44,435 --> 00:48:45,575

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

That's excellent.

:

00:48:45,695 --> 00:48:49,475

Dan Pelly: And we talk about mission and

the Buddhist practice that we've taken on.

:

00:48:50,075 --> 00:48:51,425

We think about all the suffering.

:

00:48:51,475 --> 00:48:56,665

We've taken everybody, even if they're

not Buddhist practitioners, we have taken

:

00:48:56,665 --> 00:49:02,485

on the appropriate karma, whether it's

good or bad from the distant past to prove

:

00:49:03,445 --> 00:49:08,230

the , validity of Buddhism that you can

bring yourself out of this condition.

:

00:49:08,710 --> 00:49:13,300

The 10 worlds we live in, the conditional

state we find ourselves in, like you

:

00:49:13,300 --> 00:49:15,640

said, emotions change every minute.

:

00:49:16,090 --> 00:49:18,260

So all these things that are going on in.

:

00:49:18,385 --> 00:49:23,665

And I realized it and I said, I'm not

gonna beg, grudge my calmer anymore.

:

00:49:23,695 --> 00:49:26,755

Whether it was good or bad in the past.

:

00:49:27,230 --> 00:49:29,545

'cause you have all this

anger, what happened to her?

:

00:49:29,995 --> 00:49:34,315

Losing my brotherhood at 53 and you

get all this anger and it's then

:

00:49:34,315 --> 00:49:35,785

you have the fight, the God thing.

:

00:49:35,785 --> 00:49:39,195

I moved away from, the more

spiritual energy from the universal

:

00:49:39,195 --> 00:49:41,205

energy now and what's going on.

:

00:49:41,205 --> 00:49:46,225

And then I'm saying to myself,

no more begrudging is from today.

:

00:49:46,405 --> 00:49:49,015

From talking to Elaine to tomorrow.

:

00:49:49,435 --> 00:49:53,485

We've learned from the past, but no more

carrying it for the rest of your life.

:

00:49:53,725 --> 00:49:53,785

Yeah.

:

00:49:53,785 --> 00:49:56,605

Some people, I've seen some people

in real estate, they're suffering

:

00:49:56,605 --> 00:49:59,875

on their chair and they just,

they gave up after a divorce.

:

00:49:59,875 --> 00:50:01,675

They gave up after a child died.

:

00:50:01,705 --> 00:50:04,225

Look at my mentor passed

away at 95 years old.

:

00:50:04,870 --> 00:50:07,525

He lost a brother and

he lost one of his sons.

:

00:50:07,705 --> 00:50:09,025

And if he could keep going.

:

00:50:09,655 --> 00:50:13,525

It's just to show people that you can

still choose life within the tragedy

:

00:50:13,525 --> 00:50:17,965

that you're gonna show people that you

can turn that poison into medicine.

:

00:50:18,805 --> 00:50:19,615

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

:

00:50:19,615 --> 00:50:20,665

Dan Pelly: And that's my story.

:

00:50:20,965 --> 00:50:22,855

All of it right to where I am today.

:

00:50:23,728 --> 00:50:25,978

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: that

is such a beautiful message.

:

00:50:26,578 --> 00:50:30,468

Dan, I so appreciate you

coming and sharing with us.

:

00:50:31,468 --> 00:50:35,338

I'm really relieved and happy

for you that Justine is good.

:

00:50:35,608 --> 00:50:40,063

I'm happier that you are good

because , I'm sure you're quite

:

00:50:40,063 --> 00:50:41,923

a light in her life, I'm sure.

:

00:50:42,283 --> 00:50:42,793

Dan Pelly: Yes.

:

00:50:43,123 --> 00:50:44,073

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's, wow.

:

00:50:44,773 --> 00:50:51,283

It's a lot to unpack and there is

nothing worse than having to deal

:

00:50:51,283 --> 00:50:53,653

with the illness or loss of a child.

:

00:50:54,433 --> 00:50:54,883

Dan Pelly: Nothing.

:

00:50:55,513 --> 00:50:56,713

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Absolutely nothing.

:

00:50:56,863 --> 00:51:01,708

And I understand why people

go into depression and lose

:

00:51:01,708 --> 00:51:04,978

themselves after such a loss.

:

00:51:04,983 --> 00:51:06,473

Dan Pelly: Can I read, can

I read the shirt to you?

:

00:51:07,103 --> 00:51:07,913

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yes, please.

:

00:51:07,913 --> 00:51:09,203

Let's read your shirt.

:

00:51:09,563 --> 00:51:10,553

Let's get the shirt

:

00:51:11,273 --> 00:51:13,583

Dan Pelly: read, because I

think that's gonna be key.

:

00:51:14,288 --> 00:51:14,708

Okay.

:

00:51:14,708 --> 00:51:15,518

Here it comes.

:

00:51:15,938 --> 00:51:16,448

Okay.

:

00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:21,068

The shirt says, suicide victims

are not weak, selfish, or cowards.

:

00:51:21,578 --> 00:51:26,918

They are fathers, mothers, sons,

daughters, husbands, wives, brothers,

:

00:51:26,918 --> 00:51:31,748

sisters, cousins, grandchildren,

and who were in pain and are

:

00:51:31,748 --> 00:51:33,368

missed and loved every day.

:

00:51:33,368 --> 00:51:37,298

Choose your words carefully

and please don't judge what

:

00:51:37,298 --> 00:51:39,668

you cannot possibly understand.

:

00:51:40,068 --> 00:51:41,238

Time to change.

:

00:51:41,658 --> 00:51:44,358

Raise awareness, not stigma.

:

00:51:45,358 --> 00:51:47,368

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

That's absolutely beautiful.

:

00:51:47,368 --> 00:51:47,698

Dan,

:

00:51:47,698 --> 00:51:47,758

the

:

00:51:48,748 --> 00:51:51,118

Dan Pelly: great shirt, I saw

it online is that I'm buying it.

:

00:51:51,958 --> 00:51:53,848

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's

a, it's an excellent shirt.

:

00:51:55,048 --> 00:51:55,678

Dan Pelly: Says a lot.

:

00:51:55,678 --> 00:51:55,768

Well,

:

00:51:56,578 --> 00:51:58,288

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

yeah, it really does.

:

00:51:58,378 --> 00:51:59,068

Dan Pelly: I'm sorry I

:

00:51:59,068 --> 00:52:03,328

monopolized about my story, but it got

going and I want to let people know

:

00:52:03,328 --> 00:52:05,458

that no matter what I've been through.

:

00:52:05,878 --> 00:52:07,828

And not to begrudge my past at all.

:

00:52:07,828 --> 00:52:10,678

Not just because I practice

Buddhism, just as a human being,

:

00:52:11,038 --> 00:52:12,478

that we gotta help other people.

:

00:52:12,478 --> 00:52:14,038

That gives back to us.

:

00:52:14,218 --> 00:52:18,148

We can't get caught up in our own

little self-centeredness that we start

:

00:52:18,148 --> 00:52:21,598

losing touch with the human race just

'cause we're online all the time.

:

00:52:22,028 --> 00:52:26,438

We have to be involved, we have to care

about people, even the ones we disagree

:

00:52:26,438 --> 00:52:28,118

with, we gotta care about them too.

:

00:52:28,123 --> 00:52:28,323

Yeah.

:

00:52:28,608 --> 00:52:31,548

The student human beings, we might

disagree to the help with something,

:

00:52:31,548 --> 00:52:34,698

but that doesn't mean we don't,

I don't chant for them for their

:

00:52:34,698 --> 00:52:38,908

happiness and their good health and

their protection and they matter too

:

00:52:38,908 --> 00:52:42,568

is, the worst person in the world

that matters and you'd like to, yeah.

:

00:52:42,568 --> 00:52:43,978

I can't forgive that person.

:

00:52:43,978 --> 00:52:47,528

Forgiveness is for yourself,

accountability absolutely is.

:

00:52:47,673 --> 00:52:49,893

Accountability is for

the other, that's right.

:

00:52:50,583 --> 00:52:52,533

You gotta be able to forgive

yourself and move on.

:

00:52:52,533 --> 00:52:58,743

So I just feel that choosing life is such,

like my banner says as determination.

:

00:52:58,743 --> 00:53:01,203

It's not just about

inspiration and motivation.

:

00:53:01,878 --> 00:53:03,918

You gotta make an inner determination.

:

00:53:03,918 --> 00:53:08,363

Like my last, short, I put up, you find

me under Dan Pelly, where do you find me?

:

00:53:08,723 --> 00:53:10,043

You put in Dan Pelly.

:

00:53:10,103 --> 00:53:11,423

P-E-L-L-Y.

:

00:53:11,453 --> 00:53:13,613

I'm coming up on all

the social media sites.

:

00:53:13,613 --> 00:53:14,693

I'm on 20 of them.

:

00:53:14,963 --> 00:53:19,313

I'm constantly in the mix with my

shorts, show my pup sometime that I

:

00:53:19,343 --> 00:53:22,702

do live a life, do things, general,

you could find me that way, but to

:

00:53:22,702 --> 00:53:25,552

choose life is a inner determination.

:

00:53:26,302 --> 00:53:30,442

And when I made that first determination,

even at, before my second attempt,

:

00:53:30,442 --> 00:53:32,362

I got a quote about determination.

:

00:53:32,842 --> 00:53:36,142

And when you're determined, things

will start moving in that direction.

:

00:53:36,172 --> 00:53:36,262

Yeah.

:

00:53:36,862 --> 00:53:40,732

And it's more of a quote, but in

general that if you decide that you

:

00:53:41,002 --> 00:53:44,692

don't, you, this will never work

out, then it's never gonna work out.

:

00:53:44,692 --> 00:53:44,902

That's right.

:

00:53:45,322 --> 00:53:46,882

But even if you setback.

:

00:53:46,882 --> 00:53:51,172

So once I took that in determination

on it was really a good.

:

00:53:51,697 --> 00:53:53,437

And I still read the quote every day.

:

00:53:53,537 --> 00:53:56,327

Everything starts moving in

the direction of success.

:

00:53:56,747 --> 00:53:58,577

And it's not about money for me.

:

00:53:58,887 --> 00:54:01,047

Everything I do 'cause I self fund a lot.

:

00:54:01,097 --> 00:54:02,327

It's all about in the heart.

:

00:54:02,777 --> 00:54:02,957

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

:

00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:06,137

Dan Pelly: Did I want to

be able to say one thing?

:

00:54:06,137 --> 00:54:09,637

That person, they heard one

thing in my story today that, I'm

:

00:54:09,637 --> 00:54:11,047

gonna keep trying to choose life.

:

00:54:11,047 --> 00:54:11,137

Yes.

:

00:54:11,557 --> 00:54:12,967

That's all I ask people to do.

:

00:54:13,747 --> 00:54:15,307

We can't save everybody.

:

00:54:15,307 --> 00:54:16,747

You've lost close people.

:

00:54:16,747 --> 00:54:17,977

I've lost close people.

:

00:54:18,727 --> 00:54:20,137

You're not gonna save everybody.

:

00:54:20,137 --> 00:54:23,527

But one of my mentors, that's old

that's gonna attract, tell you,

:

00:54:23,527 --> 00:54:26,197

he says, look at, we're not gonna

be able to save everybody then.

:

00:54:26,287 --> 00:54:27,752

But you gotta keep doing it.

:

00:54:28,752 --> 00:54:28,912

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

:

00:54:29,112 --> 00:54:29,352

'cause you're

:

00:54:29,352 --> 00:54:30,757

Dan Pelly: gonna save the next person.

:

00:54:30,827 --> 00:54:33,647

I've had some young people

contact me that watch me.

:

00:54:34,247 --> 00:54:36,287

I really appreciate your content.

:

00:54:36,707 --> 00:54:40,517

I almost took my life months ago

and here I am still 'cause of you.

:

00:54:40,787 --> 00:54:43,367

So I get these calculations

that when I started I was

:

00:54:43,367 --> 00:54:44,957

getting all the negative in 16.

:

00:54:45,032 --> 00:54:45,092

Yeah.

:

00:54:45,857 --> 00:54:46,437

Oh yeah.

:

00:54:46,472 --> 00:54:47,132

Who cares?

:

00:54:47,132 --> 00:54:50,162

Or you should have been successful,

or people say mean things.

:

00:54:50,342 --> 00:54:50,492

Yeah.

:

00:54:50,497 --> 00:54:53,282

And I learned from a lot of

inspirational speakers that the first

:

00:54:53,282 --> 00:54:55,952

thing you gotta do as an inspirational

speaker then, or a motivator,

:

00:54:56,162 --> 00:54:58,142

whatever, is shut out the negative.

:

00:54:59,132 --> 00:54:59,642

Absolutely.

:

00:54:59,792 --> 00:55:00,932

And don't reply.

:

00:55:01,052 --> 00:55:02,162

I don't reply anymore.

:

00:55:02,192 --> 00:55:02,912

'cause I'm a fighter.

:

00:55:02,912 --> 00:55:04,057

I always reply, back and forth.

:

00:55:04,057 --> 00:55:04,417

They're speaking

:

00:55:04,747 --> 00:55:05,677

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: from their pain.

:

00:55:06,157 --> 00:55:06,397

Dan Pelly: Yeah.

:

00:55:06,397 --> 00:55:08,887

'cause I don't have any more

time to reply, first of all.

:

00:55:09,247 --> 00:55:12,487

And I'm not gonna acknowledge

the negativity about how people

:

00:55:12,487 --> 00:55:14,467

are weak or cowards and all that.

:

00:55:14,467 --> 00:55:17,347

It's just, it's not the dialogue

I don't wanna have anymore.

:

00:55:17,552 --> 00:55:19,262

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

It's definitely not worth it.

:

00:55:19,922 --> 00:55:20,372

Dan Pelly: Exactly.

:

00:55:20,422 --> 00:55:24,122

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: just wanna

say for our audience that everything

:

00:55:24,302 --> 00:55:28,562

about Dan and how to get ahold of him,

et cetera, will be right down below

:

00:55:29,102 --> 00:55:31,172

the transcripts in the show notes.

:

00:55:31,232 --> 00:55:34,172

I thank you so much for

coming to join us, Dan.

:

00:55:34,382 --> 00:55:35,522

Dan Pelly: Thank you for having me.

:

00:55:35,522 --> 00:55:37,382

And I hope I passed the good message.

:

00:55:37,432 --> 00:55:38,422

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

:

00:55:38,422 --> 00:55:42,682

And by sharing your story, you

are of course offering hope.

:

00:55:42,682 --> 00:55:42,772

Yes.

:

00:55:43,342 --> 00:55:49,042

And if we can ignite hope in

even one person, then I think our

:

00:55:49,562 --> 00:55:53,242

converSAVEtions are absolutely worth.

:

00:55:53,242 --> 00:55:53,512

Exactly.

:

00:55:54,462 --> 00:55:56,982

Dan Pelly: My saying is always

now, and I've gone in my practice,

:

00:55:56,982 --> 00:55:59,772

never give up and choose life.

:

00:56:00,882 --> 00:56:01,992

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Always.

:

00:56:02,517 --> 00:56:02,947

Dan Pelly: Thank you.

:

00:56:03,047 --> 00:56:05,387

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Thank

you so much for being here with us.

:

00:56:05,387 --> 00:56:06,017

I'm Elaine.

:

00:56:07,037 --> 00:56:11,627

This is suicide zen forgiveness

and until next time, make the

:

00:56:11,627 --> 00:56:14,867

very best of your today every day.

:

00:56:16,097 --> 00:56:17,327

We'll see you then,

:

00:56:18,377 --> 00:56:21,437

Voiceover: thank you for being

here for another inspiring episode

:

00:56:21,437 --> 00:56:23,117

of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

:

00:56:23,117 --> 00:56:24,557

We appreciate you tuning in.

:

00:56:25,397 --> 00:56:29,457

Please subscribe and download on your

favorite service and check out SZF42

:

00:56:29,477 --> 00:56:31,547

YouTube channel or Facebook community.

:

00:56:31,847 --> 00:56:34,757

If you have the chance to leave

a five star rating or review,

:

00:56:34,817 --> 00:56:36,077

it'd be greatly appreciated.

:

00:56:37,037 --> 00:56:40,367

Please refer this to a friend you

know who may benefit from the hope

:

00:56:40,367 --> 00:56:42,587

and inspiration from our guests.

:

00:56:43,127 --> 00:56:46,097

Suicide Zen Forgiveness was

brought to you by the following

:

00:56:46,097 --> 00:56:51,077

sponsors, TROOL Social Media, the

digital integration specialists.

:

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Shattering Stigma Igniting Hope

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Elaine Lindsay

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