Episode 28
Men's Mental Health Month: Sean Sisk's Path to Recovery
9 28
Men's Mental Health Month: Sean Sisk's Path to Recovery
Show Notes
This isn’t a story about dying. It’s a story about choosing to live — even when you can’t walk, can’t pee, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just the hallway fluorescents. Sean’s grit, wit, and raw honesty show us how hope gets built from the bones up.
Men's Mental Health Month: Sean Sisk's Path to Recovery
🎙️ Episode: "Miracle Sean Sisk"
This isn’t a story about dying. It’s a story about choosing to live — even when you can’t walk, can’t pee, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just the hallway fluorescents. Sean’s grit, wit, and raw honesty show us how hope gets built from the bones up.
💥 What We Talk About:
- Sean's harrowing health crisis at Blues Fest 2023
- Septic shock, coma, dialysis, and recovery
- The unspoken toll on caregivers and families
- Why we must stop asking, "What can I do?" and start doing
- Losing friends in crisis and why some people disappear
- Humor as a life raft and signal of cognitive resilience
- The miracle of community support
- Why men need more than silence to survive
🔗 How to Connect with Sean Sisk:
Instagram: @seansiskphotography
Website: seansisk.com
📞 If You’re in Crisis:
If you're in North America, text 988 for free, 24/7 support.
Elsewhere? Please reach out to your local suicide prevention or mental health hotline. #YouMatter
💬 Subscribe, rate, and share if this episode moved you. It could be the lifeline someone else didn’t know they needed. #ConverSAVEtions
Bio
Sean Sisk is a seasoned commercial and entertainment photographer based in Ottawa, Canada. With a career spanning over two decades, he has built a reputation for capturing compelling portraits, dynamic editorial spreads, and electrifying live music performances. His portfolio includes work with major clients such as Bell Media (CTV, TSN, Pure Country), Faces Magazine, and Ottawa Life Magazine. He also serves as the official photographer for prominent events like RBC Bluesfest and CityFolk Festival.
In July 2023, while covering Bluesfest, Sean faced a life-threatening health crisis due to an invasive Group A Streptococcus infection that led to septic shock. After a challenging recovery, he emerged with a renewed perspective on life.
Sean was also responsible for the creation of Pets with Personalities Pet calendar that raised over $25k for various Ottawa charities ( OHS, OBGC and various dog rescues) Sean also sat on the Ringside for Youth board for 8 yrs
Links & Socials
©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.
https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/mens-mental-health-month-sean-sisks-path-to-recovery
Elaine Lindsay
Explicit
Transcript
When moving forward seems too much.
2
:When you feel totally out of touch,
3
:out the door, you find yourself.
4
:Curled on the floor.
5
:The thoughts swirl around
all jumbled and messed.
6
:Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?
7
:I've secret.
8
:I've never confessed.
9
:Haven't told the soul,
10
:I'm depressed.
11
:A gentle whisper through the pain.
12
:Remember rainbows, follow, breathe deeply.
13
:Hold on.
14
:Your hope will return shining bright.
15
:Forgiveness, peace
16
:not alone.
17
:Reach out.
18
:Let your strength be shown.
19
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hey
there, I've got a bit of a
20
:different show today and I think,
21
:The whole thing is pretty uplifting,
which is why I want to do it.
22
:This is,
23
:men's Mental Health Month, and I think
that's important for us to cover.
24
:My guest is Sean Sisk.
25
:Sean is a seasoned commercial
and entertainment photographer
26
:based here in Ottawa, Canada.
27
:He's got a career that spans two
decades, and he's built a reputation
28
:for capturing really compelling
portraits, dynamic editorial spreads,
29
:and electrifying live music performances.
30
:His portfolio includes work with
major clients such as Bell Media,
31
:C-T-V-T-S-N, pure Country Faces
Magazine, Ottawa Life Magazine.
32
:He also serves as the official
photographer for prominent events like
33
:RBC Blues Fest and City Folk Festival.
34
:Most important thing as far as
I'm concerned, was he photographed
35
:Jelly Roll who was here last summer
and sadly I did not get to go, but
36
:that's a whine for another show.
37
:Sean, had a really terrifying
ident that started in July of:
38
:while he was covering Blues Fest.
39
:He faced a life-threatening
health crisis due to an invasive
40
:group, a streptococcus infection.
41
:It led to septic shock.
42
:He had an incredibly challenging
recovery, but he emerged with a
43
:renewed perspective on life and a
deeper appreciation for his craft.
44
:Beyond his professional endeavors.
45
:Sean is a proud father, dog owner,
and self-proclaimed hat aficionado.
46
:He enjoys cooking, watching hockey,
and indulging in craft beer.
47
:His passion for photography
is matched by a zest for life,
48
:making him a cherish figure here
in Ottawa's creative community.
49
:Any more information you need will
be down below in his bio, and I'm
50
:just going to suggest that we're
going to get on with the show.
51
:Let's go.
52
:As I said, my guest, Sean Sisk.
53
:Hi there.
54
:Hello, Elaine.
55
:Thank you for having me.
56
:Very nice to officially meet
57
:Sean Sisk: you.
58
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Uh, yeah, it's awesome.
59
:We are both here in Ottawa.
60
:We have been for ages and I have wanted
to get you on here for a very long time.
61
:I will say, you know, here we are in June.
62
:It is Men's Mental Health Month,
and I think we have to say first and
63
:foremost when people hear your story.
64
:There's a lot of mental health
involved, not just for you, for
65
:your spouse, for your whole family.
66
:This is sort of an unprecedented
blip in one's life.
67
:And I say blip, fully understanding
how I'm minimizing what
68
:is, is not to be minimized.
69
:You know, we go through life and we
just sort of keep going and we don't
70
:realize that the strangest things
can take us right out of the game.
71
:So I'm gonna leave it there
and let you give us your story.
72
:Sean Sisk: I like that you call it a blip.
73
:Because I, I hate to let something
like what I went through define me
74
:and there was never a moment that
any time that I was like, this is me.
75
:It was more how do I get back to be
even better than what I was before?
76
:As I sat in hospital beds and my
hands didn't work, my feet didn't
77
:work, and I, I couldn't walk and.
78
:It never, it was never in my head
that this is going to be the new me.
79
:It was always more like I, I was this
stubborn and I was this much of a, a
80
:pain in my own ass to get to where I am.
81
:Why, why would I settle for this?
82
:And no, I mean, nobody wants that doctor
that, you know, the nurse that come in
83
:at five 30 in the morning to take your
blood with that crooky cart and, and
84
:you know, it's hard to get back and
anything in life that is worth it is hard.
85
:And if it's not hard,
you don't appreciate it.
86
:And I just and even with this,
it being mental health month, we
87
:talk about the doctors and the
nurses, but one of the things.
88
:To get me back to where I am, I had to
spend a couple of times a week for a
89
:number of weeks with a psychiatrist.
90
:Mm-hmm.
91
:, When you code and your brain goes
without oxygen they're pretty
92
:adamant that you talk to somebody.
93
:And I talked to Dr.
94
:Dr.
95
:Bryce and, I used to call her, well, Dr.
96
:Bryce was my psychiatrist, and,
and he had a student, Rebecca.
97
:, And I wouldn't be here today without Dr.
98
:Bryce as much as the
doctors and the nurses.
99
:But it is that whole team.
100
:And it's those people you see
regularly in the hospital.
101
:, I was in a hospital for four months.
102
:You see a lot of doctors.
103
:You see a lot of nurses.
104
:I only saw one occupational
therapist, Frankie, who was amazing.
105
:Sarah, my psychologist or
my, my psych, uh, no, no.
106
:My, um, my, uh, the one
that gets you back in shape.
107
:Physiotherapist.
108
:Physiotherapist.
109
:There we go.
110
:See my brain's still a little bit foggy.
111
:That's okay.
112
:And Dr.
113
:Bryce, my psychiatrist.
114
:And without those three people in the
hospital, I truly wouldn't be here.
115
:They were my, my team, my nucleus
and, and those three were of so
116
:important and talking to, and I'd
never talked to a psychiatrist before,
117
:like there've been talks and so to
have my own psychiatrist every day.
118
:, And I think I saw him
twice, three times a week.
119
:It, it was truly a gift.
120
:, Just to have somebody to talk to that,
that, that can help you break down
121
:your own like rearrange your thought
process to make it make sense to you.
122
:, And it was in such a, it was such a,
a casual, like comforting way in life.
123
:We fight a lot.
124
:We assume everything is
gonna be a challenge.
125
:I ordered buns and there's no butter
with my , everything is like that.
126
:Oh, I went to the cart and now my cart
at the grocery store , is a wobble.
127
:You know, like we don't look at things
and, and go in , man, it's gonna be okay.
128
:And I, and I really believe that's
part of what has gotten us all here.
129
:We go in with this negative,
we go in that it's gonna suck.
130
:How often do you tell your
friends, man, I love you.
131
:I miss you.
132
:Let's hang out.
133
:We don't do love.
134
:We don't do happiness.
135
:We go out and go, this is gonna suck.
136
:It's cold.
137
:I don't want to hear it anymore.
138
:You know what?
139
:So what if you get rained on?
140
:So what if you got told
15-year-old you never cared?
141
:Life at the, at the crux of
it all is for the living.
142
:And when I was in that bed, you know,
my wife was like, you can read a book.
143
:You can do that.
144
:Nope, I'm going to get up because if I
get up, they're going to gimme ginger ale.
145
:They're going to gimme jello.
146
:As much work as it was and you know, like
I, I needed help to go to the bathroom.
147
:I didn't want that.
148
:And instead of just accepting the defeat.
149
:How do we move forward and, and
it's long and it hurts and it sucks.
150
:There were tears, there was
frustration, there was anger.
151
:I mean, you see in the movies and in
the TV shows, you know, the guy gets
152
:hurt and you know, they're, they tell
him he is never gonna walk again.
153
:You know, after the commercial
break, he's walking.
154
:Yeah, I mean, it's not that easy.
155
:No, it's not at all.
156
:And it's not that glamorous.
157
:It, it takes weeks and it takes hours, but
life is long and it's what you make it.
158
:And there's so much good that to
dwell on all of those things, it just
159
:seemed to me I have an amazing wife.
160
:I have amazing twins.
161
:I get asked, when I died,
I coded for half an hour.
162
:For those that don't know, four times.
163
:One was about a half an hour.
164
:Might even have been longer.
165
:I get asked, did I see God?
166
:Did I see light?
167
:I saw light in the sense of, I
just, even in that stupor that,
168
:you know, state of coming out of a
coma, I was just so in drug induced.
169
:Yeah.
170
:That I never spoke to the, the
big guy or however we, but I just
171
:always focused on my children.
172
:That was the light and I, and
I kind of looking back like.
173
:What is your light?
174
:If your light is to go forward and.
175
:To see, but to me it was, it was never
about going forward or backwards.
176
:It was getting back and being
involved in being part of my kids'
177
:life and taking them to skating.
178
:Taking them to swimming,
going to McDonald's and, and
179
:stealing their french fries.
180
:Those, that is what life is about.
181
:It.
182
:It's not about all that other crap
that we totally make our life about.
183
:And I, and I feel through
what I've been through.
184
:I look back and as Canadians we're
so fortunate, it's unfortunate that
185
:we haven't had any, I mean, for lack
of better, big, bad things in Canada.
186
:We haven't been to war, we
haven't had, we conscription,
187
:we haven't had so many things.
188
:We had a toilet paper shortage and
Canadians like just about lost their
189
:marbles and, and, and at the end of
the day, like, we're so fortunate.
190
:That we don't realize how lucky we
are and that we do have hospitals and
191
:occupational therapists and psychiatrists.
192
:No, we don't have as many as we need,
but that's because we've chosen to think
193
:they'd rather keep an extra 20 bucks
of their tax money in their pocket,
194
:then look out for their brothers, their
sisters, their children, et cetera.
195
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hey,
I'm gonna lemme stop you for
196
:one second because I, I wanna
be sure that the audience
197
:understands where this came from,
198
:Sean Sisk: so now we're one of my story.
199
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
200
:Your story.
201
:Okay.
202
:We were, I, I will say that
your wife knows my son and
203
:we were all on tenter hooks.
204
:All those four months praying for
you and for Erin and the kids because
205
:it's terrifying and particularly in
our family, Ryan understood that.
206
:And you know, we've, our family's gone
through a lot as well, so he understood
207
:just how difficult that can be.
208
:But let's take the audience
back to summer of:
209
:Sean Sisk: I'm a photographer.
210
:Yeah.
211
:, I'm one of the official
photographers for Blues Fest.
212
:I've been shooting Blues Fest,
somewhere in around 20 to 25 years.
213
:Yeah.
214
:And this year was one of the first,
or:
215
:I, I decided not to go one day
because I wasn't feeling well.
216
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
217
:Sean Sisk: And I believe it was
for the Foo Fighters the night
218
:before I shot Shania Twain, and
I guess I wasn't feeling well.
219
:I just assumed, you know,
it's summer, it's hot.
220
:I'm not eating, you know,
I'm pushing 50 at this point.
221
:Maybe I ate too much cheese
pizza, not enough green peppers.
222
:We all know the story and, I guess I got
home and I didn't feel very well the next
223
:day and I had a fever and, but I just
assumed like I have kids that are nine.
224
:I just assumed it was.
225
:Well by, I guess by Tuesday night
or whatever it was, I don't really
226
:have any recollection of June until
like really October, November.
227
:I ended up with a fever and by the
Tuesday I had like abdomen pain.
228
:And that night I couldn't pee.
229
:And, my fever turned to cold sweats and
my wife started, worrying, you know,
230
:all those episodes of Grey's Anatomy.
231
:He kicked in and she thought
we should call 9 1 1.
232
:, The ambulance came and I like this
funny part as they, I actually
233
:walked into the ambulance.
234
:So I mean, I was okay.
235
:I thought and my wife even said to me,
do you need your cell phone charger?
236
:I said, no, no, I, I won't be there
that long, dangerous last words.
237
:Yeah.
238
:I, so, and that was about
five 30 in the morning.
239
:So between five 30 and 1130 in the
morning I went from walking into
240
:an ambulance to, I was intubated.
241
:They, I guess I'm gonna say diagnose
me with invasive group a strep.
242
:Just the same bacteria, that if your
friend has strep throat, they cough.
243
:And anyhow, I ended up with
this bacteria in my bloodstream.
244
:I guess I had a, uh, a cut on my
leg and I somehow scratched my leg.
245
:And, uh, off to the races we went.
246
:And, uh, you also know strep a if it's
on your skin, it's flesh eating disease.
247
:Yeah.
248
:If it's in your throat, it's strep throat.
249
:Anyhow, so they figured I contacted this
perhaps somebody coughed and I shook
250
:hands or I rubbed up on a metal post.
251
:Strep is all over in our world.
252
:I just got lucky.
253
:Uh, if you will.
254
:And, uh, in there I, uh, I,
uh, went pretty sideways.
255
:Yeah.
256
:And that led to, I was in
the, uh, coma for six weeks.
257
:Not a full six weeks, but six weeks.
258
:They tried to take you out?
259
:Yeah.
260
:It was a drug induced coma, but
a good, like, good six weeks.
261
:And I was septic.
262
:My heart stopped.
263
:I had a full system shut down.
264
:The only system that didn't
shut down were my lungs.
265
:, My heart stopped, my pancreas shut down.
266
:I had a shocking liver.
267
:My diet, my kidney stopped working.
268
:I had flesh eating disease on my legs.
269
:They had to take a large
chunk out of my inner thigh.
270
:And I, and I actually, they took a chunk
about the size of a fist of my inner
271
:thigh and I had a, ended up with a vac
attached to my thigh for a few weeks.
272
:And, I.
273
:Yeah, I was on dialysis for four months.
274
:Yep.
275
:I was one of the fortunate whose
kidneys decided to kick back
276
:in after a little vacation.
277
:And, I guess here we are and, and
I mean, being that sick as, as I'm
278
:sure you, you understand, and like
being that sick and being septic, the
279
:sepsis just destroys your muscles.
280
:It just destroys everything.
281
:I was so weak and when I came to I
couldn't even pick up a pen in and write.
282
:I, I was just basically a blob.
283
:I was like remember Barba Papa back on?
284
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
285
:Yeah.
286
:You feel like tissue paper.
287
:Yeah.
288
:It's like you, you
just, everything wobbles
289
:Sean Sisk: and everybody just
sort of does stuff for you and
290
:you're like, yeah I can't do that.
291
:They have to.
292
:Yeah.
293
:Yeah.
294
:And as I progressed
295
:As I progress moving forward
like the physio, the test,
296
:I, I have a lot of nerve damage.
297
:Yeah.
298
:Yeah.
299
:In , both legs and my hand.
300
:Sorry about that.
301
:I won't drink tea anymore.
302
:So moving forward I spent just
the, like twice a day at physio,
303
:at the Ottawa Rehab Center.
304
:A lot of tests, neuro, um, a lot
of psychology neuropsychiatry
305
:but on the funny side to deem
me okay, um, you have to see a
306
:psychiatrist and one of the things.
307
:They felt that I was okay, is
because I still had a sense of humor.
308
:Humor, yeah.
309
:And, and, and I could tell a joke and
joking is one of the hardest things
310
:your brain can do to remember to read a
person and to have delivery with timing.
311
:So.
312
:I just and that was really what
got me through was those nurses and
313
:the, the staff just to, to laugh
and, and joke and to talk to them.
314
:And what's funny is even when I
was at my worst in the hospital,
315
:there's always people worse
often than you in that building.
316
:The stuff I saw and heard
I, I'm so fortunate.
317
:I mean, as, as bad as it
is, I am so fortunate I.
318
:Yeah, that, you know, not to sound
like, but it could always be way worse.
319
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It
absolutely could, but at the
320
:same time, for Erin and the kids,
321
:nobody else being worse mattered.
322
:Sean Sisk: No.
323
:And I don't even know how she managed.
324
:Yeah.
325
:I mean she probably enjoyed the
peace and quiet, but there is no
326
:peace and quiet when all that shit
you're battling in your own head.
327
:Yeah.
328
:And this is, and where it's interesting
is your friends don't know what to do.
329
:No.
330
:And like one of the worst things you
can say to somebody in a situation
331
:like Erin is, what can I do for you?
332
:Yeah.
333
:They don't have that answer.
334
:If you wanna do something, just do it.
335
:Bring them a meal, drive
them, give them money.
336
:Do whatever it is you want to do.
337
:They are in such a state in
their own brain, they don't know
338
:what's coming and what's going.
339
:And just be there.
340
:I mean, yeah.
341
:But at the same time, just do something.
342
:It's easier to go home and find a lasagna
is a better place than to message them
343
:and say, if you need anything, call me.
344
:They're not, they're not gonna call you.
345
:'cause they probably don't remember.
346
:Their brain is in protection mode and
they don't know or recall any of that.
347
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That is okay.
348
:I'm gonna stop you again 'cause
this is so critically important.
349
:This is something we talk
about to do with grief.
350
:Okay?
351
:Grief isn't just when you lose somebody.
352
:You can have grief for a lot of reasons,
but watching somebody you love be
353
:horrifically ill and it going on and on.
354
:With No at the time.
355
:Okay.
356
:There were lots of times
during that no answers.
357
:And Erin, not only no answers,
she didn't know if there was
358
:gonna be a tomorrow for you.
359
:Sean Sisk: Yeah,
360
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: and
361
:Sean Sisk: she was told at one
point, we need to amputate his leg.
362
:Yeah.
363
:Or might be both legs.
364
:She's like, what?
365
:What the heck?
366
:I mean, they told her my heart stopped.
367
:Yes.
368
:They, and they, and the doctors said
to her at one point, they're like, he
369
:will be different when he comes back.
370
:If he comes back.
371
:I, I had a friend say to me,
what was your percentage?
372
:That's a very TV thing.
373
:Doctors don't really say,
my gosh, Matt, he's got 2%.
374
:It doesn't work like that.
375
:They brought my children in and my wife,
and they had them say goodbye to me.
376
:Yeah.
377
:Because they didn't think they
would make it through the night.
378
:Or I would make it through the night.
379
:See, I'd like just like
separated myself from that.
380
:See?
381
:Yeah.
382
:But that's the truth.
383
:And poor Erin is going through this and
people are like, what can I do for you?
384
:She's like, I don't fucking know.
385
:, My husband may not make
it through the, than Yeah.
386
:And I have to go and you wanna
387
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: make me,
you want me to make more decisions
388
:Sean Sisk: and I have to
go home and feed my kids.
389
:Like I, I don't have time to.
390
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
391
:That's such a good point.
392
:And it is about whatever you think
you can do for someone, it doesn't
393
:matter if you take them a meal and
they throw it out, it doesn't matter.
394
:At least you did it.
395
:You did something and save
them from one decision.
396
:Sean Sisk: Yep.
397
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That
is so critically important.
398
:And if you have someone who's
going through something like
399
:this and they have children.
400
:Go take the kids for an ice
cream cone or take them or show
401
:up with a bag of chips in two
402
:Sean Sisk: stuffies.
403
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, just do
404
:something.
405
:Sean Sisk: Give them hope.
406
:Give them something.
407
:Yeah.
408
:Yeah.
409
:We, we had neighbors that would like
mow our lawn and shovel our driveway.
410
:Yeah.
411
:And I mean, what, what's sad though
about that through like, is when you
412
:go through this anything and, and,
and I've talked to other people.
413
:Illness in general, you have
to be prepared that humans at
414
:a basic level can't handle it.
415
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
Yeah, absolutely.
416
:You're gonna,
417
:Sean Sisk: you're gonna lose friends
and you're gonna lose family.
418
:They don't know what to do.
419
:They don't know how to do it.
420
:They don't know how to cope, and they
sure aren't there mentally to watch
421
:somebody go through hell and back.
422
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
They're just gonna walk away.
423
:And very often the walking away is because
they are so shamed at their own actions.
424
:We, we have to, on both sides.
425
:We have to give people grace.
426
:'cause I know, okay, you spend
a year in the hospital, people
427
:get fed up, coming to see you.
428
:It is like, oh my God,
do we have to go again?
429
:Sean Sisk: He just lies
there with a blanket on.
430
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
431
:Yeah.
432
:And you know, it's, it happens
in, in all kinds of instances.
433
:My father-in-law, God rest his soul,
a lovely gentleman, but I really
434
:felt that he had a fear of death.
435
:The priest came six times.
436
:I.
437
:To give him last rights.
438
:And after the sixth time, he
said, I'm not coming back.
439
:I'm not coming back until somebody
knows, like, this is really it.
440
:I've done this six times now.
441
:It's like, you just
kind of have to, there.
442
:There are no hard and fast rules
because whether you are religious or
443
:spiritual or agnostic or whatever.
444
:This world has miracles and
I am so thankful for that.
445
:But we can't guarantee them.
446
:We don't know to whom
or when they'll happen.
447
:But when they happen, let's just
rejoice and be thankful and love it.
448
:And something else you said that
I think is super, super important
449
:we have to stop being so negative.
450
:About things, but people are
negative because of fear.
451
:Yep.
452
:And if you live in lack and fear,
you are always going to look
453
:at things from the negative.
454
:But trust me, okay.
455
:In my twenties when I was early on in pain
24 7, I was an absolute bitch on wheels.
456
:Okay?
457
:I was not a nice human being.
458
:And I now understand pain can make
you pretty crazy, can make you pretty
459
:nasty, but once you get grumpy, yeah.
460
:Once I learned that, you know, when I'm
grateful for all the little things I.
461
:You start being grateful for
all the bigger things that
462
:you realize that you have.
463
:Yeah, and the people around you, your
children, your spouse, your dog, your
464
:cat, your bearded lizard, your fish.
465
:I don't care what all of those things
are things we need to be grateful for
466
:because the more we are grateful, the
less room there is to be negative.
467
:Sean Sisk: And the more, the more grateful
you are and the more you appreciate
468
:the little things, the more light
you let in, the more the dark leaves.
469
:Easier said than done.
470
:Yeah.
471
:But it's about enjoying
those small things.
472
:And, and, and looking at
each thing is a victory.
473
:You know, even put on your list for
the daily chores shower, that's a goal.
474
:You did it.
475
:And then don't fight yourself that
you didn't, you know, you didn't
476
:wash your hair or what have you.
477
:You got up.
478
:Yeah.
479
:And, and it is hard to realize
that getting up is a win.
480
:Yeah.
481
:Because not everybody gets to get up.
482
:Absolutely.
483
:For more morning.
484
:Absolutely.
485
:And I remember, and you would see
this on social media, I, I believe
486
:it slowed down a bit, but that, you
know, thoughts and prayers Yeah.
487
:People would like, you know, and, and
truthfully, after what I've been through,
488
:anybody that's willing to think about
you, to share love, to share happiness.
489
:Is a gift.
490
:Yeah.
491
:And, and there's so much we don't
understand, but, you know, maybe it's
492
:a bit of that Star Wars fan in me that
it has to create some kind of energy.
493
:Yeah.
494
:And, you know, this city came
together for me and, and my family.
495
:Yeah.
496
:And, and what the community did in
the radio world, the music world in
497
:the, in the city was just so, uh,
the only word I have is humbling.
498
:Like, I couldn't do anything.
499
:But cry when I found out a it, I'm
just coming out of a coma and they're
500
:doing fundraisers and these are
things you never picture for you.
501
:And that stuff that
people do is so amazing.
502
:And it's those little things
like remember that focus.
503
:And even when I'm getting
better, I focus on that.
504
:I get people that say, are you angry?
505
:Are you mad?
506
:I could be, but I choose not to.
507
:I have to consciously choose to
direct where my energy is spent.
508
:You've probably heard it,
the Spoon Therapy theory.
509
:Yep.
510
:And you know, it's that
same sort of thing.
511
:I want this to have my energy.
512
:I want this to where I put my thoughts.
513
:And it takes work.
514
:You need to train yourself
to think that way.
515
:But if you're willing to just
accept defeat and, and accept this
516
:is who you are, that's okay too.
517
:But I never wanted to accept that.
518
:And really like, it's all of, it's
a lot, but I'm very fortunate.
519
:It was easier having my amazing
wife, my kids and my father and these
520
:people around me to help advocate
for you when I was in the hospital.
521
:You know, help get my Twizzlers,
those little things that we can't do.
522
:Yeah.
523
:And just being surrounded by the
people that you know, love and trust.
524
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
525
:And I think, part of, of mental
health, we had mental health
526
:month last month, and this month,
specifically men's mental health.
527
:The reason for that is we lose way
more men than women to suicide.
528
:And the reason for that is because for
so long we expect men to be pillars
529
:of strength, to be silent to just.
530
:Handle everything, which is such bullshit.
531
:Okay?
532
:As human beings, we all have feelings.
533
:Everybody does.
534
:Whether you show them
or not, you have them.
535
:And if you don't show them, they bubble
up from inside and you're like a pot.
536
:That over boils and that can turn
into like a great deal of anger and
537
:things that you really don't want.
538
:So part of what I.
539
:Want people to understand, not just
during Mental Health Month, but I started
540
:a couple of years ago doing something.
541
:I call my fly by Hugs.
542
:I go on social media.
543
:I send direct messages to people.
544
:I either send a fly by hug or
just tell you much love and
545
:hugs, just thinking about you.
546
:I'm not asking for anything and
I'm not really giving anything
547
:except my thought and my time.
548
:And if we believe scientifically
everything is energy, then
549
:that energy can be beneficial.
550
:Sean Sisk: And most you, you, you see it.
551
:Um, Corey and I, my makeup artist
I work with, we get to shoot
552
:all kinds of different groups.
553
:Yeah.
554
:And people.
555
:And we shoot.
556
:And one of the things I've noticed
is there's no, there's no way,
557
:this isn't gonna sound very
politically correct but hear me out.
558
:White people are boring when
I work with other groups.
559
:Um, they say, thank you.
560
:I appreciate you.
561
:I love you.
562
:They hug, they all get together
to their family and there's like
563
:40 of them for just an occasion.
564
:There's no reason.
565
:It's just, that's the occasion.
566
:Like when the last time you saw
like a white dude, go hug his buddy.
567
:Yeah.
568
:They don't say, you know what, it sucks.
569
:You know, my wife is mad.
570
:I got bills to pay.
571
:Uh, I'm running this business.
572
:My kid keeps arguing.
573
:They they don't do that.
574
:No.
575
:They go drink a, a fifth of whiskey and,
and, and move on, and, and they don't
576
:have anybody to tell those things to do.
577
:It's all about, this is what I do.
578
:This is my job.
579
:This is how much I got this big damn boat.
580
:Let's roll.
581
:Yeah, that hurts.
582
:That's a lot of weight to carry around.
583
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
584
:Yeah, it absolutely is.
585
:And that's, you know, advocating now as I
do for ending silence, stigma, and shame.
586
:The reason for ending the silence is
because silence is what's killing us.
587
:You know, people who.
588
:Make an effort to get out and
discuss their feelings with
589
:other people, especially men.
590
:They manage their, their inner equilibrium
better because in all honesty, feelings
591
:last 30 to 90 seconds if you let them flow
and go, that's what we're supposed to do.
592
:But when you stuff 'em all down and you
keep hanging on to the things that annoyed
593
:you, or you don't wanna say it out loud,
you don't wanna seem weak, you don't
594
:wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna, whatever.
595
:Yeah.
596
:You end up exploding at some point.
597
:And it's, it's just not healthy.
598
:And the fact is, and it hurts.
599
:Yeah, it hurts.
600
:But we also, we come from.
601
:Western medicine that is reactive.
602
:We don't keep people well.
603
:We see them when they're sick.
604
:Okay?
605
:If we make more of an effort
to keep ourselves well.
606
:That is mentally well, first and foremost,
and that will help you to be physically
607
:well, which will help you then to
make sure everybody around you is also
608
:well, but that requires interaction.
609
:That requires you to talk.
610
:About what doesn't feel great and quite
often what doesn't feel great or Yeah,
611
:you said it, my wife's mad at me, or
I, I can't quite seem to get through
612
:to my kid, or, you know, oh my God,
I don't know why my boss has no time.
613
:You know, I don't know why he doesn't
listen when we speak all of those
614
:things, if we just stopped assuming.
615
:Letting people skate by
not talking to each other.
616
:We just said, Hey, are you okay?
617
:And actually listen for an answer.
618
:I'm not saying we have to fix everybody.
619
:That's not the point.
620
:The point is
621
:Sean Sisk: to, and not
everybody really needs fixing.
622
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, exactly.
623
:But just listen and.
624
:When I'm talking about like teens
and youth, I say, you know what, as
625
:a parent, whatever you are doing, go
in and duct tape your mouth with a
626
:sign that says, I'm willing to listen.
627
:Because quite often we
don't want an answer.
628
:We don't want things necessarily
to be changed by outside ourselves.
629
:We just want to be heard.
630
:We just wanna vent.
631
:Yep.
632
:Exactly.
633
:Exactly.
634
:And being seen and
heard, I think should be.
635
:An inalienable, inalienable human right,
whoever you are, if you are unhoused, if
636
:you have mental health issues, if you live
with a family of 40, doesn't matter to me.
637
:I think you deserve to.
638
:Listened to, and I've said it on this show
before and I will say it forever, but if
639
:you just took 10 minutes once a month.
640
:Listen to a stranger.
641
:Any stranger, okay?
642
:For a lot of people, their neighbors
are their strangers, but you,
643
:if you give someone 10 minutes
and just say, you know what?
644
:I just want to listen to you.
645
:Tell me part of your story.
646
:Tell me what bothers you.
647
:Are you sad?
648
:Are you happy?
649
:Just tell me and then just listen.
650
:Sean Sisk: E even as simple as little
things will make your own life better.
651
:Open the door from some for somebody.
652
:Say, hi, how are you?
653
:Yeah.
654
:To the person at Barn Boy that
gives you your stake every week.
655
:Say hi.
656
:Hey, how's it going?
657
:Wave to your neighbor.
658
:When did we become a, a bunch of people?
659
:We walk with our head down.
660
:We just keep pushing through.
661
:Like when you talk to your son
Ryan, like he's a jovial ha,
662
:happy, friendly person and, and
people co that, that's contagious.
663
:Yeah.
664
:And, and that's a good thing.
665
:And, and, and that, that
breeds health in itself.
666
:And more people need to, if you're
gonna go out and be miserable and have
667
:a scowl on your fight, and you know,
maybe that waitress had a shitty day.
668
:You don't know what happened to her.
669
:Yeah, but you know what,
it's just your glass of wine.
670
:It will get there.
671
:Don't fret.
672
:Your doctor would probably not
want you to have that anyways.
673
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And
the other thing is this, okay,
674
:I like to compliment people.
675
:On the things I find fun,
fascinating, fabulous about them.
676
:My son will tell you I'm chatty Cathy.
677
:I talk to everybody.
678
:My husband will tell you it's my
goal in life is to say hello to
679
:everyone on the planet and that
is the honest to God's truth.
680
:I believe that sometimes.
681
:We are so wrapped up in ourselves.
682
:If you say hello to someone or you
compliment them on what they're wearing or
683
:the light in their eyes or their smile or
something, that may be the only compliment
684
:they heard that day or that week or even
that month, you can turn that day around
685
:for them just by making them smile.
686
:Sean Sisk: What a gift that is.
687
:It's a huge gift and, and that's
sort of how I run my photo business.
688
:When we hop into the studio, I
once, I would rather spend 25
689
:minutes getting to know you and
shoot for five minutes than shoot.
690
:I.
691
:For 25 and get to know you for five.
692
:Yeah, we're gonna get more stuff.
693
:And, and, and you know, it's easy to
tell somebody, man, you look great today.
694
:You know, you have new shoes.
695
:How are things like engage?
696
:And as a photographer,
I, I need to do that.
697
:To get Yeah.
698
:People out.
699
:And you know what?
700
:It's fun.
701
:It's fun.
702
:Like the stuff that people tell me
and the stuff that I get to learn
703
:about people and, and it just sort
of goes with me wherever I go.
704
:And my kids are like that.
705
:They're like, oh, now who's daddy
talking to my, like, do we need to?
706
:And, and in life, that's what makes life.
707
:That is what defines life.
708
:It's all those little things
that you carry with you as you go
709
:through to, to just bullet your way.
710
:Do this, Corey and I, the
makeup artists we joke.
711
:But we have this thing and, and,
and Corey is, is, is a, I think this
712
:is the great way to say it, a gay
individual and we talk and, and, and
713
:we get to know people and, and we, we
get to meet so many different people.
714
:We work with indigenous artists,
we work with hip hop artists.
715
:We work with people of
different skin color.
716
:We work with different people
that we, we've had clients
717
:come out to us at photo shoots.
718
:Corey and I have worked together
for like 20 years and, and one of
719
:the things that, that we kind of
laugh about is the problem is too
720
:many people, it's the rule of eight.
721
:Too many people, they just get up at
eight, they go to bed at eight, they work
722
:with the same eight people at at work.
723
:They see the same eight people
after they go to the same eight
724
:stores, and that's their life.
725
:That is their life.
726
:Eight.
727
:And that's really frigging boring.
728
:Yeah.
729
:And that would make you angry
because you're not, you're not
730
:ex, exploring your horizons.
731
:You're not taking a chance.
732
:You're just assuming you're not
gonna like anything or anybody.
733
:Yeah.
734
:You know, I try to tell my kids,
I would rather you at least try
735
:it and tell me you don't like it.
736
:Then just say you don't like it.
737
:Why do we do that to our kids?
738
:But as adults, we're just
like, well, he's above 38.
739
:He can just be a sour stick in the mud.
740
:And then we wonder why people are grumpy.
741
:Like it's obvious like life is, I
mean, there's so much good out there.
742
:They're there absolutely is.
743
:With this crap on social media.
744
:There's a lot of good on social media.
745
:Yeah.
746
:But we somehow get all
of that same like it.
747
:It amazes me.
748
:One of the neat things is, is if I post
a photo of Elton John, it gets 25 likes.
749
:But if I post a photo saying,
I get the photograph Elton John
750
:tonight, it gets 300 likes.
751
:That is good.
752
:That's amazing.
753
:But we, it's like anything
you need to look, I.
754
:You need to look, you
need to find life is hard.
755
:Nobody ever said to any one of us,
when you get up tomorrow, it's day one.
756
:It's gonna be easy peasy.
757
:It's not.
758
:Everybody has challenges,
everybody has pain.
759
:Everybody is hurt.
760
:Go look at Johnny Cash.
761
:He sings a whole song about it and.
762
:And if a man like him has hurt, the
rest of us have hurt, and it's okay
763
:to have hurt, but would that hurt?
764
:Look, define to see and it'll hurt less.
765
:And, and you don't need to
have 38 friends have one.
766
:It's easier.
767
:Definitely, definitely.
768
:It's hard.
769
:It's hard and, and, and I think, you
know, it, it's, and, and, and I know I
770
:sound like a cliche, but you know, for me.
771
:You know, I do little things like,
I, I need to travel with my family.
772
:We're fortunate enough, you know,
that week away in, in Mexico or
773
:wherever I, I can bring my kids.
774
:Like I cherish that tho.
775
:Those are the special things.
776
:People are like, do you get to go?
777
:Oh, do you bring your kids?
778
:Of course.
779
:That's what keeps me young.
780
:I, I have a job.
781
:I'm gifted is all get out to have.
782
:Not that I'm gifted to do it,
I'm, it's a gift to do it.
783
:Oh, but you're, and I'm so fortunate
and, and to have all of that and,
784
:and I mean, not only it helps pay
for my house and a car I'm lucky.
785
:I'm very lucky.
786
:But it's remembering all of those
little things that we appreciate
787
:that get us to where we are.
788
:And, and for me, you know what,
there's nothing better than ice cream
789
:in Mexico with two nine year olds.
790
:Yeah.
791
:Yeah.
792
:And, and it is those simple things.
793
:And we forget that as we get older.
794
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's true.
795
:I believe we need three things in life.
796
:Ice cream.
797
:Okay.
798
:Four things.
799
:Okay.
800
:Ice cream.
801
:We need to have gratitude for the
ice cream and the other stuff.
802
:We need to be curious.
803
:Sean Sisk: Yes,
804
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
you have to have curiosity.
805
:If you don't, you are not living.
806
:Sean Sisk: No.
807
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And the
last one sort of comes from those.
808
:You will have hope if you
have those three things.
809
:Sean Sisk: And you know what?
810
:The world today, there's lack of hope.
811
:Oh yeah.
812
:Yeah.
813
:And you know, it's tough all
around, but I've been so fortunate
814
:through all of this to have hope.
815
:Yeah.
816
:Yeah.
817
:I wouldn't, and, and that, that is
and I can't imagine not having hope.
818
:And there's many people
that don't have hope.
819
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.
820
:Sean Sisk: And, and that's why, you
know, just, just talking about this I
821
:mean, I'll tell you, when I was in a
hospital bed, I didn't always have hope.
822
:No, I, I I was angry.
823
:I, I, I was mad.
824
:It wasn't fair.
825
:I wondered where, where are my friends?
826
:Where, where are, you
know, those phone calls?
827
:I, I'm sure many other things, and
I probably said it with, you know, a
828
:terrible colloquial language, but at the
end of the day, I mean, I was gifted that
829
:I could look past and keep moving forward.
830
:Yeah.
831
:And in the city, in this country
we live in, we have a shortage.
832
:Of these workers Yep.
833
:That can do this miracle stuff.
834
:And there's a lot of
people that, you know what?
835
:You know, we have this trouble, but
we can still be there for each other.
836
:Uh, we used to have a neighbor that would
bring bread to us when my, my wife and
837
:the twins were born, do little things, you
know, drop off some tomato plants at your
838
:neighbor, you know, shovel their driveway.
839
:Do those wave to your neighbor, to
somebody that's home alone, that
840
:works at home, that hasn't had any
contact with a person in two weeks.
841
:That wave is a game changer.
842
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
843
:And I have to say, you know, on that
note, we have a neighbor his name is
844
:Julian and I am officially, I have
officially adopted him as another son.
845
:He is wonderful because he
will come and cut the grass.
846
:My husband got a new knee in the fall.
847
:I was in the hospital and Julian just
came and did what needed to be done.
848
:That's amazing.
849
:Amazing.
850
:And he does it for other people.
851
:He's amazing.
852
:We are gifted here.
853
:We have neighbors all around us.
854
:We do for each other.
855
:We look after each other's homes.
856
:We, you know, we know if, if people aren't
home, we're gonna keep an eye out for
857
:our neighbors because that's important.
858
:But I grew up.
859
:Obviously in a white family, I'm the
whitest human being anyone's ever seen.
860
:Okay.
861
:And so white.
862
:I'm translucent.
863
:My mother and father brought us to
Canada with my grandmother and my
864
:aunt because in Britain family is
everything and that's just what you do.
865
:That comes before anything.
866
:My parents gave up.
867
:All of the furniture, all of
the material goods, they came
868
:with a single box of dishes.
869
:That was it, because it was
much more important to bring
870
:the family members with us.
871
:So I have a more, European
outlook in family is everything.
872
:I think North America,
we've gotten away from that.
873
:It's a more nuclear family.
874
:Totally.
875
:You have, you know, the mom, the dad,
the kids or the mom, the kids, the
876
:dad, the kids, whatever that makeup is.
877
:It's just that, that very nuclear group,
rather than having aunts and uncles
878
:and grandparents, which I think is sad
because I think it's really important.
879
:You know, they say it takes
a village and it does.
880
:It does, it really, really does.
881
:And all of these things come together.
882
:I'm, I'm so thrilled that
you are where you are now.
883
:I am more thrilled that we get to talk
to you today on the show, but, um,
884
:it's a, a hell of a journey when you.
885
:You are watching and rooting someone
on when you, they're going through the
886
:most horrific time in their life and I.
887
:You know, much love to Erin and
the kids, and I think it's fabulous
888
:everybody around, including Corey,
your makeup artist, who no doubt
889
:was as panicked as everyone else.
890
:Sean Sisk: And, and you
know, I have to tell you.
891
:Share one last story.
892
:Oh,
893
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: perfect.
894
:Sean Sisk: Perfect.
895
:Three through all of the stuff and.
896
:When you're that sick and it changes.
897
:I mean, it's like a funeral.
898
:There's people that
show up at the funeral.
899
:You least expect Yeah.
900
:And the people you expect aren't there.
901
:I mean, when I, I got sick and
I mean, know my wife's world,
902
:our world turned upside down.
903
:One of the things girls that
I went to high school with.
904
:Like 30 years ago.
905
:Yeah.
906
:They, they all got together and they
made meals and went grocery shopping
907
:and they brought over this route.
908
:I, I hadn't seen these ladies in 30 plus
years, and we're friends on Facebook.
909
:And they got together and they,
they made like meatballs of rice
910
:and a bunch of groceries and, and
brought all this stuff over to my
911
:wife when I was in the hospital.
912
:And, and that these girls like, uh,
Carrie and, and, and Mel and, and
913
:Sarah and, and Sarah Pols, like they
did this, not because they had to.
914
:Because they wanted to and never
forget when you're at your darkest,
915
:there's somebody that's still thinking
of you, that loves you, that is
916
:totally, you're totally oblivious to.
917
:There's love out there, but
sometimes we just don't know.
918
:Yeah.
919
:It was just so incredible that
stuff like that came through
920
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: it.
921
:It's true, and, and I think it's, it's.
922
:It is on us to open our eyes and be
more aware of the people around us
923
:because we don't like to be hurt, so
let's not do it to anybody else either.
924
:Sean Sisk: I, as, as a photographer, as
an artist, we're, we're, we're sensitive
925
:people, us artists and I post photos and,
and sometimes they don't get many likes.
926
:We, all of us go through that.
927
:We post stuff and there's, you know, the
feedback is, eh, you know, you're like,
928
:eh, and you're like, this is amazing.
929
:Nobody likes it.
930
:Well, I'll tell you this, after what
I've been through and, and those
931
:photos that only get three likes
or 20 likes, I'll never be mad.
932
:I, I won't even be fazed after what this
whole city has done for me and my family.
933
:Yeah.
934
:Because I can tell you this, ho
honestly, when this, when I needed it
935
:and my family needed this city came
through, uh, as such an unbelievable,
936
:I, I will never be able to pay it
forward to what the city gave my family.
937
:And I, it's incredible
938
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: what a
beautiful way to end our time together.
939
:I absolutely love what
you just said, Sean.
940
:I cannot thank you enough for coming on.
941
:This is Men's Mental Health Month.
942
:Make sure you pay attention to your
mental health or the men in your
943
:life, whether they like it or not.
944
:Ask them how they're doing and really
ask, like, be serious about it.
945
:'cause it's so important.
946
:Nobody needs to be silent and
strong and take all the burden.
947
:It's not how it works.
948
:We need to be there for each other.
949
:It's okay to
950
:Sean Sisk: be hurt.
951
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.
952
:And letting someone know and letting
someone in can be the greatest
953
:gift to yourself you can ever have.
954
:Sean Sisk: There's some pretty
amazing people out there.
955
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:
There absolutely are.
956
:Thank you so much.
957
:So,
958
:Sean Sisk: oh, Elaine, thank you.
959
:You're amazing.
960
:And thank you for doing this and
please don't ever stop talking.
961
:This is a great story to tell.
962
:All of it.
963
:Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I think
my family would be p upset if you,
964
:someone told me not to stop talking.
965
:As I said, Sean is my guest today.
966
:All the information will be down
below in the show notes and all of
967
:the ways that you can get of Sean.
968
:I'm Elaine Lindsay.
969
:This is suicides and forgiveness.
970
:And remember to make the most
of your today, every day, and
971
:we're gonna see you next time.
972
:Bye for now.
973
:Thank you for being here for
another inspiring episode
974
:of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.
975
:We appreciate you tuning in.
976
:Please subscribe and download on your
favorite service and check out SZF42
977
:YouTube channel or Facebook community.
978
:If you have the chance to leave
a five star rating or review,
979
:it'd be greatly appreciated.
980
:Please refer this to a friend you
know who may benefit from the hope
981
:and inspiration from our guests.
982
:Suicide Zen Forgiveness was brought
to you by the following sponsors.
983
:TROOL social media, the digital
integration specialists.
984
:Let them get you rocking page
one in the search results.
985
:Canada's keynote, Humourist Judy Croon,
motivational speaker, comedian, author,
986
:and standup coach at Second City.
987
:Judy has been involved for over
a decade in the City Street
988
:Outreach program in Toronto.
989
:Do you have a story to share?
990
:Do you know someone you think
would be a great guests hero?
991
:Please go to SZF four two.com
992
:and for our American listeners,
that's s zf four two.com.
993
:Steadfast.
994
:Thank you for listening and we hope.
995
:To see you again