Episode 28

Men's Mental Health Month: Sean Sisk's Path to Recovery

9 28

Men's Mental Health Month: Sean Sisk's Path to Recovery

Show Notes

This isn’t a story about dying. It’s a story about choosing to live — even when you can’t walk, can’t pee, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just the hallway fluorescents. Sean’s grit, wit, and raw honesty show us how hope gets built from the bones up.

Men's Mental Health Month: Sean Sisk's Path to Recovery 

 🎙️ Episode: "Miracle Sean Sisk"

This isn’t a story about dying. It’s a story about choosing to live — even when you can’t walk, can’t pee, and the light at the end of the tunnel is just the hallway fluorescents. Sean’s grit, wit, and raw honesty show us how hope gets built from the bones up.

💥 What We Talk About:

  • Sean's harrowing health crisis at Blues Fest 2023
  • Septic shock, coma, dialysis, and recovery
  • The unspoken toll on caregivers and families
  • Why we must stop asking, "What can I do?" and start doing
  • Losing friends in crisis and why some people disappear
  • Humor as a life raft and signal of cognitive resilience
  • The miracle of community support
  • Why men need more than silence to survive

🔗 How to Connect with Sean Sisk:

Instagram: @seansiskphotography

Website: seansisk.com

📞 If You’re in Crisis:

If you're in North America, text 988 for free, 24/7 support.

Elsewhere? Please reach out to your local suicide prevention or mental health hotline. #YouMatter

💬 Subscribe, rate, and share if this episode moved you. It could be the lifeline someone else didn’t know they needed. #ConverSAVEtions

Bio

Sean Sisk is a seasoned commercial and entertainment photographer based in Ottawa, Canada. With a career spanning over two decades, he has built a reputation for capturing compelling portraits, dynamic editorial spreads, and electrifying live music performances. His portfolio includes work with major clients such as Bell Media (CTV, TSN, Pure Country), Faces Magazine, and Ottawa Life Magazine. He also serves as the official photographer for prominent events like RBC Bluesfest and CityFolk Festival.

In July 2023, while covering Bluesfest, Sean faced a life-threatening health crisis due to an invasive Group A Streptococcus infection that led to septic shock. After a challenging recovery, he emerged with a renewed perspective on life.

Sean was also responsible for the creation of Pets with Personalities Pet calendar that raised over $25k for various Ottawa charities ( OHS, OBGC and various dog rescues) Sean also sat on the Ringside for Youth board for 8 yrs

Links & Socials

Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All website

©2025-2018 Elaine Lindsay SZF42.com All rights reserved.

https://suicide-zen-forgiveness.captivate.fm/episode/mens-mental-health-month-sean-sisks-path-to-recovery

Elaine Lindsay

Explicit

Transcript
Speaker:

When moving forward seems too much.

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When you feel totally out of touch,

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out the door, you find yourself.

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Curled on the floor.

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The thoughts swirl around

all jumbled and messed.

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Why is this brain so darkly obsessed?

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I've secret.

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I've never confessed.

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Haven't told the soul,

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I'm depressed.

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A gentle whisper through the pain.

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Remember rainbows, follow, breathe deeply.

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Hold on.

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Your hope will return shining bright.

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Forgiveness, peace

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not alone.

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Reach out.

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Let your strength be shown.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hey

there, I've got a bit of a

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different show today and I think,

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The whole thing is pretty uplifting,

which is why I want to do it.

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This is,

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men's Mental Health Month, and I think

that's important for us to cover.

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My guest is Sean Sisk.

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Sean is a seasoned commercial

and entertainment photographer

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based here in Ottawa, Canada.

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He's got a career that spans two

decades, and he's built a reputation

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for capturing really compelling

portraits, dynamic editorial spreads,

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and electrifying live music performances.

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His portfolio includes work with

major clients such as Bell Media,

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C-T-V-T-S-N, pure Country Faces

Magazine, Ottawa Life Magazine.

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He also serves as the official

photographer for prominent events like

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RBC Blues Fest and City Folk Festival.

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Most important thing as far as

I'm concerned, was he photographed

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Jelly Roll who was here last summer

and sadly I did not get to go, but

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that's a whine for another show.

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Sean, had a really terrifying

ident that started in July of:

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while he was covering Blues Fest.

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He faced a life-threatening

health crisis due to an invasive

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group, a streptococcus infection.

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It led to septic shock.

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He had an incredibly challenging

recovery, but he emerged with a

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renewed perspective on life and a

deeper appreciation for his craft.

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Beyond his professional endeavors.

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Sean is a proud father, dog owner,

and self-proclaimed hat aficionado.

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He enjoys cooking, watching hockey,

and indulging in craft beer.

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His passion for photography

is matched by a zest for life,

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making him a cherish figure here

in Ottawa's creative community.

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Any more information you need will

be down below in his bio, and I'm

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just going to suggest that we're

going to get on with the show.

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Let's go.

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As I said, my guest, Sean Sisk.

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Hi there.

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Hello, Elaine.

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Thank you for having me.

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Very nice to officially meet

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Sean Sisk: you.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Uh, yeah, it's awesome.

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We are both here in Ottawa.

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We have been for ages and I have wanted

to get you on here for a very long time.

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I will say, you know, here we are in June.

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It is Men's Mental Health Month,

and I think we have to say first and

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foremost when people hear your story.

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There's a lot of mental health

involved, not just for you, for

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your spouse, for your whole family.

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This is sort of an unprecedented

blip in one's life.

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And I say blip, fully understanding

how I'm minimizing what

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is, is not to be minimized.

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You know, we go through life and we

just sort of keep going and we don't

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realize that the strangest things

can take us right out of the game.

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So I'm gonna leave it there

and let you give us your story.

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Sean Sisk: I like that you call it a blip.

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Because I, I hate to let something

like what I went through define me

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and there was never a moment that

any time that I was like, this is me.

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It was more how do I get back to be

even better than what I was before?

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As I sat in hospital beds and my

hands didn't work, my feet didn't

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work, and I, I couldn't walk and.

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It never, it was never in my head

that this is going to be the new me.

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It was always more like I, I was this

stubborn and I was this much of a, a

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pain in my own ass to get to where I am.

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Why, why would I settle for this?

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And no, I mean, nobody wants that doctor

that, you know, the nurse that come in

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at five 30 in the morning to take your

blood with that crooky cart and, and

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you know, it's hard to get back and

anything in life that is worth it is hard.

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And if it's not hard,

you don't appreciate it.

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And I just and even with this,

it being mental health month, we

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talk about the doctors and the

nurses, but one of the things.

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To get me back to where I am, I had to

spend a couple of times a week for a

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number of weeks with a psychiatrist.

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Mm-hmm.

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, When you code and your brain goes

without oxygen they're pretty

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adamant that you talk to somebody.

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And I talked to Dr.

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Dr.

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Bryce and, I used to call her, well, Dr.

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Bryce was my psychiatrist, and,

and he had a student, Rebecca.

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, And I wouldn't be here today without Dr.

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Bryce as much as the

doctors and the nurses.

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But it is that whole team.

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And it's those people you see

regularly in the hospital.

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, I was in a hospital for four months.

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You see a lot of doctors.

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You see a lot of nurses.

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I only saw one occupational

therapist, Frankie, who was amazing.

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Sarah, my psychologist or

my, my psych, uh, no, no.

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My, um, my, uh, the one

that gets you back in shape.

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Physiotherapist.

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Physiotherapist.

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There we go.

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See my brain's still a little bit foggy.

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That's okay.

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And Dr.

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Bryce, my psychiatrist.

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And without those three people in the

hospital, I truly wouldn't be here.

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They were my, my team, my nucleus

and, and those three were of so

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important and talking to, and I'd

never talked to a psychiatrist before,

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like there've been talks and so to

have my own psychiatrist every day.

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, And I think I saw him

twice, three times a week.

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It, it was truly a gift.

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, Just to have somebody to talk to that,

that, that can help you break down

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your own like rearrange your thought

process to make it make sense to you.

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, And it was in such a, it was such a,

a casual, like comforting way in life.

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We fight a lot.

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We assume everything is

gonna be a challenge.

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I ordered buns and there's no butter

with my , everything is like that.

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Oh, I went to the cart and now my cart

at the grocery store , is a wobble.

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You know, like we don't look at things

and, and go in , man, it's gonna be okay.

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And I, and I really believe that's

part of what has gotten us all here.

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We go in with this negative,

we go in that it's gonna suck.

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How often do you tell your

friends, man, I love you.

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I miss you.

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Let's hang out.

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We don't do love.

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We don't do happiness.

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We go out and go, this is gonna suck.

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It's cold.

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I don't want to hear it anymore.

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You know what?

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So what if you get rained on?

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So what if you got told

15-year-old you never cared?

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Life at the, at the crux of

it all is for the living.

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And when I was in that bed, you know,

my wife was like, you can read a book.

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You can do that.

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Nope, I'm going to get up because if I

get up, they're going to gimme ginger ale.

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They're going to gimme jello.

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As much work as it was and you know, like

I, I needed help to go to the bathroom.

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I didn't want that.

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And instead of just accepting the defeat.

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How do we move forward and, and

it's long and it hurts and it sucks.

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There were tears, there was

frustration, there was anger.

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I mean, you see in the movies and in

the TV shows, you know, the guy gets

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hurt and you know, they're, they tell

him he is never gonna walk again.

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You know, after the commercial

break, he's walking.

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Yeah, I mean, it's not that easy.

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No, it's not at all.

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And it's not that glamorous.

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It, it takes weeks and it takes hours, but

life is long and it's what you make it.

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And there's so much good that to

dwell on all of those things, it just

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seemed to me I have an amazing wife.

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I have amazing twins.

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I get asked, when I died,

I coded for half an hour.

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For those that don't know, four times.

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One was about a half an hour.

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Might even have been longer.

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I get asked, did I see God?

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Did I see light?

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I saw light in the sense of, I

just, even in that stupor that,

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you know, state of coming out of a

coma, I was just so in drug induced.

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Yeah.

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That I never spoke to the, the

big guy or however we, but I just

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always focused on my children.

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That was the light and I, and

I kind of looking back like.

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What is your light?

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If your light is to go forward and.

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To see, but to me it was, it was never

about going forward or backwards.

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It was getting back and being

involved in being part of my kids'

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life and taking them to skating.

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Taking them to swimming,

going to McDonald's and, and

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stealing their french fries.

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Those, that is what life is about.

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It.

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It's not about all that other crap

that we totally make our life about.

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And I, and I feel through

what I've been through.

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I look back and as Canadians we're

so fortunate, it's unfortunate that

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we haven't had any, I mean, for lack

of better, big, bad things in Canada.

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We haven't been to war, we

haven't had, we conscription,

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we haven't had so many things.

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We had a toilet paper shortage and

Canadians like just about lost their

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marbles and, and, and at the end of

the day, like, we're so fortunate.

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That we don't realize how lucky we

are and that we do have hospitals and

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occupational therapists and psychiatrists.

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No, we don't have as many as we need,

but that's because we've chosen to think

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they'd rather keep an extra 20 bucks

of their tax money in their pocket,

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then look out for their brothers, their

sisters, their children, et cetera.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Hey,

I'm gonna lemme stop you for

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one second because I, I wanna

be sure that the audience

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understands where this came from,

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Sean Sisk: so now we're one of my story.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

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Your story.

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Okay.

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We were, I, I will say that

your wife knows my son and

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we were all on tenter hooks.

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All those four months praying for

you and for Erin and the kids because

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it's terrifying and particularly in

our family, Ryan understood that.

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And you know, we've, our family's gone

through a lot as well, so he understood

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just how difficult that can be.

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But let's take the audience

back to summer of:

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Sean Sisk: I'm a photographer.

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Yeah.

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, I'm one of the official

photographers for Blues Fest.

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I've been shooting Blues Fest,

somewhere in around 20 to 25 years.

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Yeah.

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And this year was one of the first,

or:

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I, I decided not to go one day

because I wasn't feeling well.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

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Sean Sisk: And I believe it was

for the Foo Fighters the night

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before I shot Shania Twain, and

I guess I wasn't feeling well.

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I just assumed, you know,

it's summer, it's hot.

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I'm not eating, you know,

I'm pushing 50 at this point.

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Maybe I ate too much cheese

pizza, not enough green peppers.

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We all know the story and, I guess I got

home and I didn't feel very well the next

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day and I had a fever and, but I just

assumed like I have kids that are nine.

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I just assumed it was.

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Well by, I guess by Tuesday night

or whatever it was, I don't really

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have any recollection of June until

like really October, November.

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I ended up with a fever and by the

Tuesday I had like abdomen pain.

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And that night I couldn't pee.

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And, my fever turned to cold sweats and

my wife started, worrying, you know,

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all those episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

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He kicked in and she thought

we should call 9 1 1.

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, The ambulance came and I like this

funny part as they, I actually

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walked into the ambulance.

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So I mean, I was okay.

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I thought and my wife even said to me,

do you need your cell phone charger?

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I said, no, no, I, I won't be there

that long, dangerous last words.

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Yeah.

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I, so, and that was about

five 30 in the morning.

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So between five 30 and 1130 in the

morning I went from walking into

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an ambulance to, I was intubated.

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They, I guess I'm gonna say diagnose

me with invasive group a strep.

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Just the same bacteria, that if your

friend has strep throat, they cough.

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And anyhow, I ended up with

this bacteria in my bloodstream.

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I guess I had a, uh, a cut on my

leg and I somehow scratched my leg.

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And, uh, off to the races we went.

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And, uh, you also know strep a if it's

on your skin, it's flesh eating disease.

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Yeah.

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If it's in your throat, it's strep throat.

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Anyhow, so they figured I contacted this

perhaps somebody coughed and I shook

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hands or I rubbed up on a metal post.

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Strep is all over in our world.

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I just got lucky.

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Uh, if you will.

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And, uh, in there I, uh, I,

uh, went pretty sideways.

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Yeah.

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And that led to, I was in

the, uh, coma for six weeks.

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Not a full six weeks, but six weeks.

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They tried to take you out?

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Yeah.

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It was a drug induced coma, but

a good, like, good six weeks.

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And I was septic.

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My heart stopped.

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I had a full system shut down.

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The only system that didn't

shut down were my lungs.

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, My heart stopped, my pancreas shut down.

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I had a shocking liver.

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My diet, my kidney stopped working.

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I had flesh eating disease on my legs.

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They had to take a large

chunk out of my inner thigh.

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And I, and I actually, they took a chunk

about the size of a fist of my inner

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thigh and I had a, ended up with a vac

attached to my thigh for a few weeks.

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And, I.

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Yeah, I was on dialysis for four months.

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Yep.

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I was one of the fortunate whose

kidneys decided to kick back

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in after a little vacation.

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And, I guess here we are and, and

I mean, being that sick as, as I'm

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sure you, you understand, and like

being that sick and being septic, the

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sepsis just destroys your muscles.

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It just destroys everything.

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I was so weak and when I came to I

couldn't even pick up a pen in and write.

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I, I was just basically a blob.

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I was like remember Barba Papa back on?

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You feel like tissue paper.

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Yeah.

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It's like you, you

just, everything wobbles

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Sean Sisk: and everybody just

sort of does stuff for you and

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you're like, yeah I can't do that.

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They have to.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And as I progressed

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As I progress moving forward

like the physio, the test,

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I, I have a lot of nerve damage.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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In , both legs and my hand.

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Sorry about that.

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I won't drink tea anymore.

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So moving forward I spent just

the, like twice a day at physio,

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at the Ottawa Rehab Center.

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A lot of tests, neuro, um, a lot

of psychology neuropsychiatry

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but on the funny side to deem

me okay, um, you have to see a

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psychiatrist and one of the things.

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They felt that I was okay, is

because I still had a sense of humor.

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Humor, yeah.

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And, and, and I could tell a joke and

joking is one of the hardest things

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your brain can do to remember to read a

person and to have delivery with timing.

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So.

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I just and that was really what

got me through was those nurses and

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the, the staff just to, to laugh

and, and joke and to talk to them.

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And what's funny is even when I

was at my worst in the hospital,

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there's always people worse

often than you in that building.

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The stuff I saw and heard

I, I'm so fortunate.

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I mean, as, as bad as it

is, I am so fortunate I.

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Yeah, that, you know, not to sound

like, but it could always be way worse.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It

absolutely could, but at the

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same time, for Erin and the kids,

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nobody else being worse mattered.

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Sean Sisk: No.

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And I don't even know how she managed.

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Yeah.

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I mean she probably enjoyed the

peace and quiet, but there is no

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peace and quiet when all that shit

you're battling in your own head.

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Yeah.

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And this is, and where it's interesting

is your friends don't know what to do.

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No.

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And like one of the worst things you

can say to somebody in a situation

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like Erin is, what can I do for you?

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Yeah.

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They don't have that answer.

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If you wanna do something, just do it.

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Bring them a meal, drive

them, give them money.

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Do whatever it is you want to do.

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They are in such a state in

their own brain, they don't know

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what's coming and what's going.

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And just be there.

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I mean, yeah.

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But at the same time, just do something.

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It's easier to go home and find a lasagna

is a better place than to message them

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and say, if you need anything, call me.

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They're not, they're not gonna call you.

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'cause they probably don't remember.

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Their brain is in protection mode and

they don't know or recall any of that.

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That is okay.

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I'm gonna stop you again 'cause

this is so critically important.

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This is something we talk

about to do with grief.

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Okay?

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Grief isn't just when you lose somebody.

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You can have grief for a lot of reasons,

but watching somebody you love be

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horrifically ill and it going on and on.

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With No at the time.

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Okay.

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There were lots of times

during that no answers.

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And Erin, not only no answers,

she didn't know if there was

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gonna be a tomorrow for you.

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Sean Sisk: Yeah,

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Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: and

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Sean Sisk: she was told at one

point, we need to amputate his leg.

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Yeah.

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Or might be both legs.

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She's like, what?

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What the heck?

366

:

I mean, they told her my heart stopped.

367

:

Yes.

368

:

They, and they, and the doctors said

to her at one point, they're like, he

369

:

will be different when he comes back.

370

:

If he comes back.

371

:

I, I had a friend say to me,

what was your percentage?

372

:

That's a very TV thing.

373

:

Doctors don't really say,

my gosh, Matt, he's got 2%.

374

:

It doesn't work like that.

375

:

They brought my children in and my wife,

and they had them say goodbye to me.

376

:

Yeah.

377

:

Because they didn't think they

would make it through the night.

378

:

Or I would make it through the night.

379

:

See, I'd like just like

separated myself from that.

380

:

See?

381

:

Yeah.

382

:

But that's the truth.

383

:

And poor Erin is going through this and

people are like, what can I do for you?

384

:

She's like, I don't fucking know.

385

:

, My husband may not make

it through the, than Yeah.

386

:

And I have to go and you wanna

387

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: make me,

you want me to make more decisions

388

:

Sean Sisk: and I have to

go home and feed my kids.

389

:

Like I, I don't have time to.

390

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

391

:

That's such a good point.

392

:

And it is about whatever you think

you can do for someone, it doesn't

393

:

matter if you take them a meal and

they throw it out, it doesn't matter.

394

:

At least you did it.

395

:

You did something and save

them from one decision.

396

:

Sean Sisk: Yep.

397

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: That

is so critically important.

398

:

And if you have someone who's

going through something like

399

:

this and they have children.

400

:

Go take the kids for an ice

cream cone or take them or show

401

:

up with a bag of chips in two

402

:

Sean Sisk: stuffies.

403

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, just do

404

:

something.

405

:

Sean Sisk: Give them hope.

406

:

Give them something.

407

:

Yeah.

408

:

Yeah.

409

:

We, we had neighbors that would like

mow our lawn and shovel our driveway.

410

:

Yeah.

411

:

And I mean, what, what's sad though

about that through like, is when you

412

:

go through this anything and, and,

and I've talked to other people.

413

:

Illness in general, you have

to be prepared that humans at

414

:

a basic level can't handle it.

415

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

Yeah, absolutely.

416

:

You're gonna,

417

:

Sean Sisk: you're gonna lose friends

and you're gonna lose family.

418

:

They don't know what to do.

419

:

They don't know how to do it.

420

:

They don't know how to cope, and they

sure aren't there mentally to watch

421

:

somebody go through hell and back.

422

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

They're just gonna walk away.

423

:

And very often the walking away is because

they are so shamed at their own actions.

424

:

We, we have to, on both sides.

425

:

We have to give people grace.

426

:

'cause I know, okay, you spend

a year in the hospital, people

427

:

get fed up, coming to see you.

428

:

It is like, oh my God,

do we have to go again?

429

:

Sean Sisk: He just lies

there with a blanket on.

430

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

431

:

Yeah.

432

:

And you know, it's, it happens

in, in all kinds of instances.

433

:

My father-in-law, God rest his soul,

a lovely gentleman, but I really

434

:

felt that he had a fear of death.

435

:

The priest came six times.

436

:

I.

437

:

To give him last rights.

438

:

And after the sixth time, he

said, I'm not coming back.

439

:

I'm not coming back until somebody

knows, like, this is really it.

440

:

I've done this six times now.

441

:

It's like, you just

kind of have to, there.

442

:

There are no hard and fast rules

because whether you are religious or

443

:

spiritual or agnostic or whatever.

444

:

This world has miracles and

I am so thankful for that.

445

:

But we can't guarantee them.

446

:

We don't know to whom

or when they'll happen.

447

:

But when they happen, let's just

rejoice and be thankful and love it.

448

:

And something else you said that

I think is super, super important

449

:

we have to stop being so negative.

450

:

About things, but people are

negative because of fear.

451

:

Yep.

452

:

And if you live in lack and fear,

you are always going to look

453

:

at things from the negative.

454

:

But trust me, okay.

455

:

In my twenties when I was early on in pain

24 7, I was an absolute bitch on wheels.

456

:

Okay?

457

:

I was not a nice human being.

458

:

And I now understand pain can make

you pretty crazy, can make you pretty

459

:

nasty, but once you get grumpy, yeah.

460

:

Once I learned that, you know, when I'm

grateful for all the little things I.

461

:

You start being grateful for

all the bigger things that

462

:

you realize that you have.

463

:

Yeah, and the people around you, your

children, your spouse, your dog, your

464

:

cat, your bearded lizard, your fish.

465

:

I don't care what all of those things

are things we need to be grateful for

466

:

because the more we are grateful, the

less room there is to be negative.

467

:

Sean Sisk: And the more, the more grateful

you are and the more you appreciate

468

:

the little things, the more light

you let in, the more the dark leaves.

469

:

Easier said than done.

470

:

Yeah.

471

:

But it's about enjoying

those small things.

472

:

And, and, and looking at

each thing is a victory.

473

:

You know, even put on your list for

the daily chores shower, that's a goal.

474

:

You did it.

475

:

And then don't fight yourself that

you didn't, you know, you didn't

476

:

wash your hair or what have you.

477

:

You got up.

478

:

Yeah.

479

:

And, and it is hard to realize

that getting up is a win.

480

:

Yeah.

481

:

Because not everybody gets to get up.

482

:

Absolutely.

483

:

For more morning.

484

:

Absolutely.

485

:

And I remember, and you would see

this on social media, I, I believe

486

:

it slowed down a bit, but that, you

know, thoughts and prayers Yeah.

487

:

People would like, you know, and, and

truthfully, after what I've been through,

488

:

anybody that's willing to think about

you, to share love, to share happiness.

489

:

Is a gift.

490

:

Yeah.

491

:

And, and there's so much we don't

understand, but, you know, maybe it's

492

:

a bit of that Star Wars fan in me that

it has to create some kind of energy.

493

:

Yeah.

494

:

And, you know, this city came

together for me and, and my family.

495

:

Yeah.

496

:

And, and what the community did in

the radio world, the music world in

497

:

the, in the city was just so, uh,

the only word I have is humbling.

498

:

Like, I couldn't do anything.

499

:

But cry when I found out a it, I'm

just coming out of a coma and they're

500

:

doing fundraisers and these are

things you never picture for you.

501

:

And that stuff that

people do is so amazing.

502

:

And it's those little things

like remember that focus.

503

:

And even when I'm getting

better, I focus on that.

504

:

I get people that say, are you angry?

505

:

Are you mad?

506

:

I could be, but I choose not to.

507

:

I have to consciously choose to

direct where my energy is spent.

508

:

You've probably heard it,

the Spoon Therapy theory.

509

:

Yep.

510

:

And you know, it's that

same sort of thing.

511

:

I want this to have my energy.

512

:

I want this to where I put my thoughts.

513

:

And it takes work.

514

:

You need to train yourself

to think that way.

515

:

But if you're willing to just

accept defeat and, and accept this

516

:

is who you are, that's okay too.

517

:

But I never wanted to accept that.

518

:

And really like, it's all of, it's

a lot, but I'm very fortunate.

519

:

It was easier having my amazing

wife, my kids and my father and these

520

:

people around me to help advocate

for you when I was in the hospital.

521

:

You know, help get my Twizzlers,

those little things that we can't do.

522

:

Yeah.

523

:

And just being surrounded by the

people that you know, love and trust.

524

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

525

:

And I think, part of, of mental

health, we had mental health

526

:

month last month, and this month,

specifically men's mental health.

527

:

The reason for that is we lose way

more men than women to suicide.

528

:

And the reason for that is because for

so long we expect men to be pillars

529

:

of strength, to be silent to just.

530

:

Handle everything, which is such bullshit.

531

:

Okay?

532

:

As human beings, we all have feelings.

533

:

Everybody does.

534

:

Whether you show them

or not, you have them.

535

:

And if you don't show them, they bubble

up from inside and you're like a pot.

536

:

That over boils and that can turn

into like a great deal of anger and

537

:

things that you really don't want.

538

:

So part of what I.

539

:

Want people to understand, not just

during Mental Health Month, but I started

540

:

a couple of years ago doing something.

541

:

I call my fly by Hugs.

542

:

I go on social media.

543

:

I send direct messages to people.

544

:

I either send a fly by hug or

just tell you much love and

545

:

hugs, just thinking about you.

546

:

I'm not asking for anything and

I'm not really giving anything

547

:

except my thought and my time.

548

:

And if we believe scientifically

everything is energy, then

549

:

that energy can be beneficial.

550

:

Sean Sisk: And most you, you, you see it.

551

:

Um, Corey and I, my makeup artist

I work with, we get to shoot

552

:

all kinds of different groups.

553

:

Yeah.

554

:

And people.

555

:

And we shoot.

556

:

And one of the things I've noticed

is there's no, there's no way,

557

:

this isn't gonna sound very

politically correct but hear me out.

558

:

White people are boring when

I work with other groups.

559

:

Um, they say, thank you.

560

:

I appreciate you.

561

:

I love you.

562

:

They hug, they all get together

to their family and there's like

563

:

40 of them for just an occasion.

564

:

There's no reason.

565

:

It's just, that's the occasion.

566

:

Like when the last time you saw

like a white dude, go hug his buddy.

567

:

Yeah.

568

:

They don't say, you know what, it sucks.

569

:

You know, my wife is mad.

570

:

I got bills to pay.

571

:

Uh, I'm running this business.

572

:

My kid keeps arguing.

573

:

They they don't do that.

574

:

No.

575

:

They go drink a, a fifth of whiskey and,

and, and move on, and, and they don't

576

:

have anybody to tell those things to do.

577

:

It's all about, this is what I do.

578

:

This is my job.

579

:

This is how much I got this big damn boat.

580

:

Let's roll.

581

:

Yeah, that hurts.

582

:

That's a lot of weight to carry around.

583

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

584

:

Yeah, it absolutely is.

585

:

And that's, you know, advocating now as I

do for ending silence, stigma, and shame.

586

:

The reason for ending the silence is

because silence is what's killing us.

587

:

You know, people who.

588

:

Make an effort to get out and

discuss their feelings with

589

:

other people, especially men.

590

:

They manage their, their inner equilibrium

better because in all honesty, feelings

591

:

last 30 to 90 seconds if you let them flow

and go, that's what we're supposed to do.

592

:

But when you stuff 'em all down and you

keep hanging on to the things that annoyed

593

:

you, or you don't wanna say it out loud,

you don't wanna seem weak, you don't

594

:

wanna, don't wanna, don't wanna, whatever.

595

:

Yeah.

596

:

You end up exploding at some point.

597

:

And it's, it's just not healthy.

598

:

And the fact is, and it hurts.

599

:

Yeah, it hurts.

600

:

But we also, we come from.

601

:

Western medicine that is reactive.

602

:

We don't keep people well.

603

:

We see them when they're sick.

604

:

Okay?

605

:

If we make more of an effort

to keep ourselves well.

606

:

That is mentally well, first and foremost,

and that will help you to be physically

607

:

well, which will help you then to

make sure everybody around you is also

608

:

well, but that requires interaction.

609

:

That requires you to talk.

610

:

About what doesn't feel great and quite

often what doesn't feel great or Yeah,

611

:

you said it, my wife's mad at me, or

I, I can't quite seem to get through

612

:

to my kid, or, you know, oh my God,

I don't know why my boss has no time.

613

:

You know, I don't know why he doesn't

listen when we speak all of those

614

:

things, if we just stopped assuming.

615

:

Letting people skate by

not talking to each other.

616

:

We just said, Hey, are you okay?

617

:

And actually listen for an answer.

618

:

I'm not saying we have to fix everybody.

619

:

That's not the point.

620

:

The point is

621

:

Sean Sisk: to, and not

everybody really needs fixing.

622

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah, exactly.

623

:

But just listen and.

624

:

When I'm talking about like teens

and youth, I say, you know what, as

625

:

a parent, whatever you are doing, go

in and duct tape your mouth with a

626

:

sign that says, I'm willing to listen.

627

:

Because quite often we

don't want an answer.

628

:

We don't want things necessarily

to be changed by outside ourselves.

629

:

We just want to be heard.

630

:

We just wanna vent.

631

:

Yep.

632

:

Exactly.

633

:

Exactly.

634

:

And being seen and

heard, I think should be.

635

:

An inalienable, inalienable human right,

whoever you are, if you are unhoused, if

636

:

you have mental health issues, if you live

with a family of 40, doesn't matter to me.

637

:

I think you deserve to.

638

:

Listened to, and I've said it on this show

before and I will say it forever, but if

639

:

you just took 10 minutes once a month.

640

:

Listen to a stranger.

641

:

Any stranger, okay?

642

:

For a lot of people, their neighbors

are their strangers, but you,

643

:

if you give someone 10 minutes

and just say, you know what?

644

:

I just want to listen to you.

645

:

Tell me part of your story.

646

:

Tell me what bothers you.

647

:

Are you sad?

648

:

Are you happy?

649

:

Just tell me and then just listen.

650

:

Sean Sisk: E even as simple as little

things will make your own life better.

651

:

Open the door from some for somebody.

652

:

Say, hi, how are you?

653

:

Yeah.

654

:

To the person at Barn Boy that

gives you your stake every week.

655

:

Say hi.

656

:

Hey, how's it going?

657

:

Wave to your neighbor.

658

:

When did we become a, a bunch of people?

659

:

We walk with our head down.

660

:

We just keep pushing through.

661

:

Like when you talk to your son

Ryan, like he's a jovial ha,

662

:

happy, friendly person and, and

people co that, that's contagious.

663

:

Yeah.

664

:

And, and that's a good thing.

665

:

And, and, and that, that

breeds health in itself.

666

:

And more people need to, if you're

gonna go out and be miserable and have

667

:

a scowl on your fight, and you know,

maybe that waitress had a shitty day.

668

:

You don't know what happened to her.

669

:

Yeah, but you know what,

it's just your glass of wine.

670

:

It will get there.

671

:

Don't fret.

672

:

Your doctor would probably not

want you to have that anyways.

673

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And

the other thing is this, okay,

674

:

I like to compliment people.

675

:

On the things I find fun,

fascinating, fabulous about them.

676

:

My son will tell you I'm chatty Cathy.

677

:

I talk to everybody.

678

:

My husband will tell you it's my

goal in life is to say hello to

679

:

everyone on the planet and that

is the honest to God's truth.

680

:

I believe that sometimes.

681

:

We are so wrapped up in ourselves.

682

:

If you say hello to someone or you

compliment them on what they're wearing or

683

:

the light in their eyes or their smile or

something, that may be the only compliment

684

:

they heard that day or that week or even

that month, you can turn that day around

685

:

for them just by making them smile.

686

:

Sean Sisk: What a gift that is.

687

:

It's a huge gift and, and that's

sort of how I run my photo business.

688

:

When we hop into the studio, I

once, I would rather spend 25

689

:

minutes getting to know you and

shoot for five minutes than shoot.

690

:

I.

691

:

For 25 and get to know you for five.

692

:

Yeah, we're gonna get more stuff.

693

:

And, and, and you know, it's easy to

tell somebody, man, you look great today.

694

:

You know, you have new shoes.

695

:

How are things like engage?

696

:

And as a photographer,

I, I need to do that.

697

:

To get Yeah.

698

:

People out.

699

:

And you know what?

700

:

It's fun.

701

:

It's fun.

702

:

Like the stuff that people tell me

and the stuff that I get to learn

703

:

about people and, and it just sort

of goes with me wherever I go.

704

:

And my kids are like that.

705

:

They're like, oh, now who's daddy

talking to my, like, do we need to?

706

:

And, and in life, that's what makes life.

707

:

That is what defines life.

708

:

It's all those little things

that you carry with you as you go

709

:

through to, to just bullet your way.

710

:

Do this, Corey and I, the

makeup artists we joke.

711

:

But we have this thing and, and,

and Corey is, is, is a, I think this

712

:

is the great way to say it, a gay

individual and we talk and, and, and

713

:

we get to know people and, and we, we

get to meet so many different people.

714

:

We work with indigenous artists,

we work with hip hop artists.

715

:

We work with people of

different skin color.

716

:

We work with different people

that we, we've had clients

717

:

come out to us at photo shoots.

718

:

Corey and I have worked together

for like 20 years and, and one of

719

:

the things that, that we kind of

laugh about is the problem is too

720

:

many people, it's the rule of eight.

721

:

Too many people, they just get up at

eight, they go to bed at eight, they work

722

:

with the same eight people at at work.

723

:

They see the same eight people

after they go to the same eight

724

:

stores, and that's their life.

725

:

That is their life.

726

:

Eight.

727

:

And that's really frigging boring.

728

:

Yeah.

729

:

And that would make you angry

because you're not, you're not

730

:

ex, exploring your horizons.

731

:

You're not taking a chance.

732

:

You're just assuming you're not

gonna like anything or anybody.

733

:

Yeah.

734

:

You know, I try to tell my kids,

I would rather you at least try

735

:

it and tell me you don't like it.

736

:

Then just say you don't like it.

737

:

Why do we do that to our kids?

738

:

But as adults, we're just

like, well, he's above 38.

739

:

He can just be a sour stick in the mud.

740

:

And then we wonder why people are grumpy.

741

:

Like it's obvious like life is, I

mean, there's so much good out there.

742

:

They're there absolutely is.

743

:

With this crap on social media.

744

:

There's a lot of good on social media.

745

:

Yeah.

746

:

But we somehow get all

of that same like it.

747

:

It amazes me.

748

:

One of the neat things is, is if I post

a photo of Elton John, it gets 25 likes.

749

:

But if I post a photo saying,

I get the photograph Elton John

750

:

tonight, it gets 300 likes.

751

:

That is good.

752

:

That's amazing.

753

:

But we, it's like anything

you need to look, I.

754

:

You need to look, you

need to find life is hard.

755

:

Nobody ever said to any one of us,

when you get up tomorrow, it's day one.

756

:

It's gonna be easy peasy.

757

:

It's not.

758

:

Everybody has challenges,

everybody has pain.

759

:

Everybody is hurt.

760

:

Go look at Johnny Cash.

761

:

He sings a whole song about it and.

762

:

And if a man like him has hurt, the

rest of us have hurt, and it's okay

763

:

to have hurt, but would that hurt?

764

:

Look, define to see and it'll hurt less.

765

:

And, and you don't need to

have 38 friends have one.

766

:

It's easier.

767

:

Definitely, definitely.

768

:

It's hard.

769

:

It's hard and, and, and I think, you

know, it, it's, and, and, and I know I

770

:

sound like a cliche, but you know, for me.

771

:

You know, I do little things like,

I, I need to travel with my family.

772

:

We're fortunate enough, you know,

that week away in, in Mexico or

773

:

wherever I, I can bring my kids.

774

:

Like I cherish that tho.

775

:

Those are the special things.

776

:

People are like, do you get to go?

777

:

Oh, do you bring your kids?

778

:

Of course.

779

:

That's what keeps me young.

780

:

I, I have a job.

781

:

I'm gifted is all get out to have.

782

:

Not that I'm gifted to do it,

I'm, it's a gift to do it.

783

:

Oh, but you're, and I'm so fortunate

and, and to have all of that and,

784

:

and I mean, not only it helps pay

for my house and a car I'm lucky.

785

:

I'm very lucky.

786

:

But it's remembering all of those

little things that we appreciate

787

:

that get us to where we are.

788

:

And, and for me, you know what,

there's nothing better than ice cream

789

:

in Mexico with two nine year olds.

790

:

Yeah.

791

:

Yeah.

792

:

And, and it is those simple things.

793

:

And we forget that as we get older.

794

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: It's true.

795

:

I believe we need three things in life.

796

:

Ice cream.

797

:

Okay.

798

:

Four things.

799

:

Okay.

800

:

Ice cream.

801

:

We need to have gratitude for the

ice cream and the other stuff.

802

:

We need to be curious.

803

:

Sean Sisk: Yes,

804

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

you have to have curiosity.

805

:

If you don't, you are not living.

806

:

Sean Sisk: No.

807

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: And the

last one sort of comes from those.

808

:

You will have hope if you

have those three things.

809

:

Sean Sisk: And you know what?

810

:

The world today, there's lack of hope.

811

:

Oh yeah.

812

:

Yeah.

813

:

And you know, it's tough all

around, but I've been so fortunate

814

:

through all of this to have hope.

815

:

Yeah.

816

:

Yeah.

817

:

I wouldn't, and, and that, that is

and I can't imagine not having hope.

818

:

And there's many people

that don't have hope.

819

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Yeah.

820

:

Sean Sisk: And, and that's why, you

know, just, just talking about this I

821

:

mean, I'll tell you, when I was in a

hospital bed, I didn't always have hope.

822

:

No, I, I I was angry.

823

:

I, I, I was mad.

824

:

It wasn't fair.

825

:

I wondered where, where are my friends?

826

:

Where, where are, you

know, those phone calls?

827

:

I, I'm sure many other things, and

I probably said it with, you know, a

828

:

terrible colloquial language, but at the

end of the day, I mean, I was gifted that

829

:

I could look past and keep moving forward.

830

:

Yeah.

831

:

And in the city, in this country

we live in, we have a shortage.

832

:

Of these workers Yep.

833

:

That can do this miracle stuff.

834

:

And there's a lot of

people that, you know what?

835

:

You know, we have this trouble, but

we can still be there for each other.

836

:

Uh, we used to have a neighbor that would

bring bread to us when my, my wife and

837

:

the twins were born, do little things, you

know, drop off some tomato plants at your

838

:

neighbor, you know, shovel their driveway.

839

:

Do those wave to your neighbor, to

somebody that's home alone, that

840

:

works at home, that hasn't had any

contact with a person in two weeks.

841

:

That wave is a game changer.

842

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

843

:

And I have to say, you know, on that

note, we have a neighbor his name is

844

:

Julian and I am officially, I have

officially adopted him as another son.

845

:

He is wonderful because he

will come and cut the grass.

846

:

My husband got a new knee in the fall.

847

:

I was in the hospital and Julian just

came and did what needed to be done.

848

:

That's amazing.

849

:

Amazing.

850

:

And he does it for other people.

851

:

He's amazing.

852

:

We are gifted here.

853

:

We have neighbors all around us.

854

:

We do for each other.

855

:

We look after each other's homes.

856

:

We, you know, we know if, if people aren't

home, we're gonna keep an eye out for

857

:

our neighbors because that's important.

858

:

But I grew up.

859

:

Obviously in a white family, I'm the

whitest human being anyone's ever seen.

860

:

Okay.

861

:

And so white.

862

:

I'm translucent.

863

:

My mother and father brought us to

Canada with my grandmother and my

864

:

aunt because in Britain family is

everything and that's just what you do.

865

:

That comes before anything.

866

:

My parents gave up.

867

:

All of the furniture, all of

the material goods, they came

868

:

with a single box of dishes.

869

:

That was it, because it was

much more important to bring

870

:

the family members with us.

871

:

So I have a more, European

outlook in family is everything.

872

:

I think North America,

we've gotten away from that.

873

:

It's a more nuclear family.

874

:

Totally.

875

:

You have, you know, the mom, the dad,

the kids or the mom, the kids, the

876

:

dad, the kids, whatever that makeup is.

877

:

It's just that, that very nuclear group,

rather than having aunts and uncles

878

:

and grandparents, which I think is sad

because I think it's really important.

879

:

You know, they say it takes

a village and it does.

880

:

It does, it really, really does.

881

:

And all of these things come together.

882

:

I'm, I'm so thrilled that

you are where you are now.

883

:

I am more thrilled that we get to talk

to you today on the show, but, um,

884

:

it's a, a hell of a journey when you.

885

:

You are watching and rooting someone

on when you, they're going through the

886

:

most horrific time in their life and I.

887

:

You know, much love to Erin and

the kids, and I think it's fabulous

888

:

everybody around, including Corey,

your makeup artist, who no doubt

889

:

was as panicked as everyone else.

890

:

Sean Sisk: And, and you

know, I have to tell you.

891

:

Share one last story.

892

:

Oh,

893

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: perfect.

894

:

Sean Sisk: Perfect.

895

:

Three through all of the stuff and.

896

:

When you're that sick and it changes.

897

:

I mean, it's like a funeral.

898

:

There's people that

show up at the funeral.

899

:

You least expect Yeah.

900

:

And the people you expect aren't there.

901

:

I mean, when I, I got sick and

I mean, know my wife's world,

902

:

our world turned upside down.

903

:

One of the things girls that

I went to high school with.

904

:

Like 30 years ago.

905

:

Yeah.

906

:

They, they all got together and they

made meals and went grocery shopping

907

:

and they brought over this route.

908

:

I, I hadn't seen these ladies in 30 plus

years, and we're friends on Facebook.

909

:

And they got together and they,

they made like meatballs of rice

910

:

and a bunch of groceries and, and

brought all this stuff over to my

911

:

wife when I was in the hospital.

912

:

And, and that these girls like, uh,

Carrie and, and, and Mel and, and

913

:

Sarah and, and Sarah Pols, like they

did this, not because they had to.

914

:

Because they wanted to and never

forget when you're at your darkest,

915

:

there's somebody that's still thinking

of you, that loves you, that is

916

:

totally, you're totally oblivious to.

917

:

There's love out there, but

sometimes we just don't know.

918

:

Yeah.

919

:

It was just so incredible that

stuff like that came through

920

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: it.

921

:

It's true, and, and I think it's, it's.

922

:

It is on us to open our eyes and be

more aware of the people around us

923

:

because we don't like to be hurt, so

let's not do it to anybody else either.

924

:

Sean Sisk: I, as, as a photographer, as

an artist, we're, we're, we're sensitive

925

:

people, us artists and I post photos and,

and sometimes they don't get many likes.

926

:

We, all of us go through that.

927

:

We post stuff and there's, you know, the

feedback is, eh, you know, you're like,

928

:

eh, and you're like, this is amazing.

929

:

Nobody likes it.

930

:

Well, I'll tell you this, after what

I've been through and, and those

931

:

photos that only get three likes

or 20 likes, I'll never be mad.

932

:

I, I won't even be fazed after what this

whole city has done for me and my family.

933

:

Yeah.

934

:

Because I can tell you this, ho

honestly, when this, when I needed it

935

:

and my family needed this city came

through, uh, as such an unbelievable,

936

:

I, I will never be able to pay it

forward to what the city gave my family.

937

:

And I, it's incredible

938

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: what a

beautiful way to end our time together.

939

:

I absolutely love what

you just said, Sean.

940

:

I cannot thank you enough for coming on.

941

:

This is Men's Mental Health Month.

942

:

Make sure you pay attention to your

mental health or the men in your

943

:

life, whether they like it or not.

944

:

Ask them how they're doing and really

ask, like, be serious about it.

945

:

'cause it's so important.

946

:

Nobody needs to be silent and

strong and take all the burden.

947

:

It's not how it works.

948

:

We need to be there for each other.

949

:

It's okay to

950

:

Sean Sisk: be hurt.

951

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: Absolutely.

952

:

And letting someone know and letting

someone in can be the greatest

953

:

gift to yourself you can ever have.

954

:

Sean Sisk: There's some pretty

amazing people out there.

955

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna:

There absolutely are.

956

:

Thank you so much.

957

:

So,

958

:

Sean Sisk: oh, Elaine, thank you.

959

:

You're amazing.

960

:

And thank you for doing this and

please don't ever stop talking.

961

:

This is a great story to tell.

962

:

All of it.

963

:

Elaine @TheDarkPollyanna: I think

my family would be p upset if you,

964

:

someone told me not to stop talking.

965

:

As I said, Sean is my guest today.

966

:

All the information will be down

below in the show notes and all of

967

:

the ways that you can get of Sean.

968

:

I'm Elaine Lindsay.

969

:

This is suicides and forgiveness.

970

:

And remember to make the most

of your today, every day, and

971

:

we're gonna see you next time.

972

:

Bye for now.

973

:

Thank you for being here for

another inspiring episode

974

:

of Suicide Zen Forgiveness.

975

:

We appreciate you tuning in.

976

:

Please subscribe and download on your

favorite service and check out SZF42

977

:

YouTube channel or Facebook community.

978

:

If you have the chance to leave

a five star rating or review,

979

:

it'd be greatly appreciated.

980

:

Please refer this to a friend you

know who may benefit from the hope

981

:

and inspiration from our guests.

982

:

Suicide Zen Forgiveness was brought

to you by the following sponsors.

983

:

TROOL social media, the digital

integration specialists.

984

:

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985

:

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motivational speaker, comedian, author,

986

:

and standup coach at Second City.

987

:

Judy has been involved for over

a decade in the City Street

988

:

Outreach program in Toronto.

989

:

Do you have a story to share?

990

:

Do you know someone you think

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991

:

Please go to SZF four two.com

992

:

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993

:

Steadfast.

994

:

Thank you for listening and we hope.

995

:

To see you again

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About the Podcast

Show artwork for Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Suicide Zen Forgiveness Stories re Suicide Loss | Ideation | Mental Health | Offering Hope |Empathy for All
Shattering Stigma Igniting Hope

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Elaine Lindsay

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